I got my DS back :-). I'm the worlds happiest mommy, ever! I missed him more than anything in this world.
Some of you have asked how I got him back. I "agreed" to my stbxh terms. As you've read, he threatened to keep him "permanently" and I'd have to fight him for DS if I didn't give him an agreement by this past weekend before he was scheduled to give back DS.
I called him and did exactly what I said I was going to do, I let him ramble with his terms, doodled on a piece of paper while he went on and on. I don't remember half of what he said.
I emailed my attorney stating that he was going to be bringing an envelope with a piece of paper that had nothing but doodles on it and they can just discard it. I scanned the "agreement" and I'll be emailig him tonight.
I gave him the envelope after I had DS safely strapped into his carseat. He'll be pretty pissed off but IDGAF!
I found out from DS (his own talking, me not prompting him); that "Ms. Amy" took care of him for the most part. So, it seemed as though stbxh pawned my kid off on his gf the whole time. I also found out from DS that stbxh allowed my kid to sleep in between him and Ms. Amy at night. Call me crazy but that just doesn't fly with me.
So, that's my update.
There really isn't anything to really update on other than the fact that the bastard still has my son. He hasn't really let me speak to him. He's been a true dickhead. I was supposed to call the bastard on Tuesday after I finished my clinical but I stayed over a few hours for a total of an 18hr day and delivering babies and I was physically and emotionally exhausted and it was like 10p when I got out of the hospital. He texted me starting drama the next morning saying that he didn't give a shit if I was tired, "we had a deal" to spend 2hrs on the phone going over our filed paperwork word-for-word (ugh) to make an agreement to give to the attorney.
First and foremost, there's not going to be a fucking agreement anymore. I'm going all the way through this, including to court. I'm not playing games with him anymore but he doesn't get it. So, he said that we were going to make this agreement and if I don't, (I quote EXACTLY what he said...and I have it via text), "If you don't make this agreement with me by Sunday, you're not getting Jayden back and you're going to have to fight me for him". UM EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME?
Now, I'm further pissed off because you are NOT going to sit there and threaten to keep my son and use him as a fucking pawn in this game he wants to play. That is BEYOND low.
So, tomorrow at 1p I have an "appt." with him to go over this agreement. The entire conversation I'm going to be scribbling nothing down. I'm going to seal a letter to my attorney in a SEALED envelope for him to deliver to my attorney and he'll believe that it's my agreement. I will get my son back before I give him the envelope. The letter will state that the "agreement" that he is attempting to give him is not valid and not to accept it and to schedule the court date, asap. He won't be happy but it's okay.
I will not be giving back my son to him until we have a signed and filed LEGAL decree. I don't care what it'll look like to the judge, once everything is unearthed in court, the judge will certainly side with me.
I'm going to petition for joint custody with him only having supervised visitations since he clearly is untrustworthy and dishonest when it comes to giving back my son. I have numerous people who are willing to speak on my behalf because bastard has said that he is going to fight me for sole custody of DS because apparantly, all of a sudden I'm this horrendous parent.
My parents have already began speaking to their attorney about pressing the credit card fraud charges on him, which in this state, the amount he racked up (already proven), is a felony charge.
On Monday I spoke with my attorneys paralegal (sp?) and he was absolutely of no use. In fact, he made me cry and placed the blame totally on me.
Basically, he said that there is absolutely nothing I can do. NOTHING.
I asked if I could get an emergency hearing for emergency custody and a protective order against him. He was snotty and said with a little laugh behind it, "with what grounds do you think you even have a case?" I was like, "um......he TOOK my kid, he doesn't tell me where he lives, who is watching my son, won't let me speak to my son..." He said, "you can't prove that he's endangering the child though." I'm like, "taking him to an undisclosed location where I can't find him, up and taking him from me, etc....that isn't grounds enough?" He said no, snotty.
He basically told me that it was my fault that this happened and that he understood I was trying to do the right thing and I got bit in the ass for it and "guess you learned your lesson."
He also told me that no matter how I do it from this point on, I'm screwed. I asked him if I'm within my legal means to withold my son from his dad until we have a legal document about the custody and visitation. He said yes BUT the judge will not look kindly on a mother witholding a child from their father. I'm like, OMG what the fuck?!?
I asked for a temporary hearing/emergency hearing to straighten this out and get a protective order because I'm 100% sure that bastard is going to come back around or hunt me down or try and get DS from school one day and take him without my knowledge. He says, "You picked a bad time of year for this, ya know?" I'm like, "oh, I'm sorry. Next time we schedule a legal kidnapping; I'll make sure it's more convient for you." I was getting extremely upset.
So basically, I'm going to have to wait until January for a temporary hearing because I was ONE DAY past the 15 day period to notify the judge of a hearing. ONE DAY. I'm like, can you explain to the judge what is going on, it's ONE DAY. Nope...
So yeah.............that is what is going on.
He texts me daily with some stupid ass drama filled nonsense just to try and start shit with me. Then he threatens to "just keep" DS or "not bring him back". On top of this stuff, I'm having other guy problems and issues with a few people in my Academy (I'm a squad and class leader) and they are having lots of issues that need resolved before it goes up another step in the chain of command. I'm like, fuckin' aye....when it rains it pours. So, I'm getting really, really depressed which isn't good. :-(
I'm going to tell him, after my son is back in my possession, that I don't want him to talk to me, text me, etc...unless it has to do with our son. If it has to do with drama, cussing me out, etc...don't even bother because I don't want anything to do with him ever again unless it's about our kid. He has burned his very last string of the bridge with me. You do NOT fuck with a mothers child and bring him into stupid little games because he's trying to impress a girl and play "macho" man.
I'll update tomorrow or Sunday and let ya'll know what the result is.
My stbxh and I are meeting tonight to give me DS back after his weekend...
Apparantly, since I was running 30mins behind (I gave warning), he left and said he's keeping DS until next Sunday...btw, our half way point is 2hrs away. He already left.
I think I may go to jail.