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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I bought my 15 y/o DD a vibrater.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

We have always had a really open relationship about sex and her boyfriends. Shes been dating her current for abut a year and half, he is a a junior. Last week she went on a group date to our county fair. A couple days later she ask if she could be placed on the pill. I told her sure. I ask her why and if she was ready. She told told me at the fair she and her boyfriend "hooked up" (oral sex). She said after that it was kinda awkward and both of them felt weird about it. She said she doesn't think either of them are really ready to go there yet but that when they are together it's just kinda hard to stop (hence the want for pills).

 I told her that they both are probably not ready for sex but more sexually frustrated than anything else. I told her thats completely normal and that sex before both of them are really ready isnt the answer. She knows sex is a very emotional act, especially your first, and can't be taken back. I also told her there are things they an do as a couple and be herself to releave some of the tension. I talkedher about heavy petting and mutual masturbation and sex toys (for her own personal use). We talked about setting limits and protecttion a little more indepthly than before.

e looked up sex toys on amazon and I helped her pick something out small and talked to her about proper care for it when it get's here. We also discussed putting her on depo. We went and bought condoms for her room and purse, dental dams, spermacide from amazon.

I'm proud of her for being open with me. I would rather know and help than not know and pop up with a grand child or her being regretful for doing something she was not prepared for. I hope that when she really is ready she will come to me again.

How would you have handled it?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (351-360):
thetrollcat
by Meow on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:58 PM

I started talking about boys when she hit ten. Talked about how things are going to change for her before shParent shoving BC on kids isnt teaching anything. In my opinion it is OUR job to teach them to make better decisions, right decisions, decisions they can live with. I also made it very clear to my daughter if she wanted to be on BC I may not be happy but I would take her. I also told her HOW she could get access to BC on her own. So far no secrets but with the cysts problem, she ended up on BC for that reason. I went with her to her appointments, she asked,

While I may disagree with the hippy parenting style and teens having sex like hippies, if parents want that for their kids so be it but there are consquences to those actions, and sadly many will end up with some form of STD. I think its sad.

Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:

My respect for you has raised MASSIVELY with your responses to this post. I think the idea that shoving BC down your daughters' throats because they started menstruating is one of the stupidest things that we, as parents, could do. It's an invitation to have sex. An invitation to keep secrets-- they already have what they need with the BC, why would they come to us? And an invitation to catch some nasty infection they will live with their entire lives. 

Instead of teaching just about sex and pregnancy, we need to be teaching our sons and daughters about STDs and responsible relationships as well. I also find it disheartening that many teens, girls especially, have sex because they are pressured to do so. I will raise my children better than this. And yes, in the end, it is their decision to make. But I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that when my children lose their virginities, it is with a man or woman they are deeply and emotionally committed to- not a highschool fling.

After all, we can all agree that sex is giving a piece of yourself to someone. I wonder, then, how many pieces you can give before it becomes meaningless and you've given away all you have to give. Hippy parenting is my style when it comes to many other things, but not when it comes to sex and sexualities.  

~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

*marking the 599968yth post/reply being mean, evil, horrible, which makes me worse than anonymous*

AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:58 PM
I see no fault in anything you did.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
thetrollcat
by Meow on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Some STD can be transmitted through the mouth.

WHy would you WANT Your kids having sex? Why would you want them taking the risk?

I dont understand why you want to justify teens having sex. \

Quoting Anonymous:

Hench the condoms and dental dams. ;}

Are you one of those people who feel sex= STDs? It doesn't. Unprotected sex =s STDs lol

My DD knows the reality of sex. She also knows how to protect herself from diseases and pregnancy. I don't see the problem. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

Im sorry but the European countries have different values and morals verses america. In america people are inspired by freedom to be wild, be this, be that. While I love how you want to compare all countries shoe fits one all will get the same results is simply unrealistic. You believe what you want, but I will bet later when your daughter comes to you with STD you will be back asking us for advice how this can happen. Sadly STD has increased in the USA. Not because of SEX, i stated that already. A lot of it from oral sex, boys telling girls it is safer to have oral sex... Not true. Many STD can still be transmitted through the mouth.

I just find it funny how so many parents want to believe that European teenagers must be wild and having regular sex lives as teenagers. Maybe they are, maybe they are lucky FOR NOW... But STD can be prevented, prevented by teaching our kids to hold off on sex including oral. Education is the key, gaining trust is the key, teaching your teens about the REALITY of sex is the key. Not BC.

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, our rates are so high because we are so backwards when it comes to sex.

Let's agree to disagree. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

Im sorry but we are not european, and its not backwards at all. We have a high rate of teens and STD in America. I think you need to wake up and face the reality.



~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

*marking the 599968yth post/reply being mean, evil, horrible, which makes me worse than anonymous*

xanthian41691
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting circle_of_life:

 Terrible choice. She needs to be shamed and made to feel very very dirty. You should have told her that sex is evil and the baby Jesus is super mad at her for fooling around. Then you should have made her get down on her knees and pray for forgiveness, then spend the next couple months reading the entire bible. You might want to go ahead and have her clit removed just to be on the safe side.

You sound like a douche!

You sound like someone who doesn't understand sarcasm

Anonymous
by Anonymous 46 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:01 AM
1 mom liked this

To the poster who said she bought her 12 year old a cum rag and a girly magazine, are you fkin serious? Klassy! lol.

Would that be considered child abuse?

Jessica_Esqueda
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:01 AM

I commend you on your parenting skills. It sounds to me like you're doing everything you can with the best interests of your daughter in mind. And really, that's what good parenting is all about. 

I completely disagree with letting kids hand sex out wherever they see fit. But I do agree with you-- we need to, at the very least, teach them that there are consequences to their actions. It's very sad to see so many young teens having to deal with lifelong consequences because they were improperly informed.  

Quoting thetrollcat:

I started talking about boys when she hit ten. Talked about how things are going to change for her before shParent shoving BC on kids isnt teaching anything. In my opinion it is OUR job to teach them to make better decisions, right decisions, decisions they can live with. I also made it very clear to my daughter if she wanted to be on BC I may not be happy but I would take her. I also told her HOW she could get access to BC on her own. So far no secrets but with the cysts problem, she ended up on BC for that reason. I went with her to her appointments, she asked,

While I may disagree with the hippy parenting style and teens having sex like hippies, if parents want that for their kids so be it but there are consquences to those actions, and sadly many will end up with some form of STD. I think its sad.

Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:

My respect for you has raised MASSIVELY with your responses to this post. I think the idea that shoving BC down your daughters' throats because they started menstruating is one of the stupidest things that we, as parents, could do. It's an invitation to have sex. An invitation to keep secrets-- they already have what they need with the BC, why would they come to us? And an invitation to catch some nasty infection they will live with their entire lives. 

Instead of teaching just about sex and pregnancy, we need to be teaching our sons and daughters about STDs and responsible relationships as well. I also find it disheartening that many teens, girls especially, have sex because they are pressured to do so. I will raise my children better than this. And yes, in the end, it is their decision to make. But I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that when my children lose their virginities, it is with a man or woman they are deeply and emotionally committed to- not a highschool fling.

After all, we can all agree that sex is giving a piece of yourself to someone. I wonder, then, how many pieces you can give before it becomes meaningless and you've given away all you have to give. Hippy parenting is my style when it comes to many other things, but not when it comes to sex and sexualities.  




For delicious allergy-friendly recipes, follow my blog, Cooking With Food Allergies! 

xanthian41691
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:03 AM

I don't have a guilty conscience, I live with my choices every day and sleep just fine. So am I raising my child(ren) wrong because I think it's a naive and outdated view to force abstinence? I want her to be informed, making the act not seem so taboo makes it less tempting. If it seems forbidden, it makes it seem mysterious and like something that should be tried sooner rather than waiting. I hope that my daughter will wait as long as possible but if not then I don't think I will have failed as a mother nor my husband as a father.

Quoting sunshinebebe26:

I am not judging anyone ,  you should stop assuming . If i were judging all of you would know it .  I have different opinions and if some of you have guilty conscience about whatever it may be, do not put it off on me ! I believe it is right to raise your children to wait !

Quoting Anonymous:

Cut the crap. You're not stupid. You fully understand you are judging others. God does not appreciate that, FYI. Stop casting stones. 

I am not raising my child "wrong" because I do not stress the importance of being chaste on her wedding night. Like I said, that is her choice. These women are not "wrong" because they had sex before they wed. they are different from you, but they are not wrong. 

Quoting sunshinebebe26:

I am not judging anyone , but i am sure catching alot of judegement!  My children will be raised right and that is all i really have to say about it.

Quoting xanthian41691:

I really feel bad for you. Judging people who may have been going through a rough time in their life and made some bad choices, so that automatically makes them "unworthy" to wed your sons? My first time was with someone I THOUGHT I was going to marry but he turned out to be an abusive asshole, so I got out. Should I have married him because we slept together? No. And after him I went through a brief stage of depression and had sex with a few guys, and met hubby. Hubby and I both slept with 5 people before meeting each other. Our first time together was amazing, and as we've grown as a couple and grown sexually it's been more amazing. 

Sex is unique for each person you're with because it's emotional, it's soul-bearing, it's raw, it's passionate. It's giving a part of yourself to that person because you feel something for them that you can't describe any other way.

I have to say that your ideology of who your children will be with and/or marry is very naive and, yes, backwards. I don't expect my daughter to be a virgin when she marries. I hope that as OP, she can come to me and talk and doesn't end up a young mother. I hope that she is smart about who she gives herself to but I don't expect her to wait for "Mister Right". I'm glad I got in some experience before hubby. I was actually intimidated and shy when I got with him and if it weren't for previous experience, I would have been totally lost. Before each other, we'd only done some basic things but as a couple we have grown together and tried new things that we have only done together and will only do together for the rest of our lives.

I truly hope that your children are exposed to other types of beliefs and that they become informed and make their own decisions based on what they think is best when they are mature enough and ready for that type of thing.

Quoting sunshinebebe26:

Yes because i feel differently from you , i must be the one thinking backwards. 

Quoting daughteroftruth:

I wish, then there would at least be a reasonable excuse for backwards, sexist, degrading thinking like this. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Did I just step back into the 20s?

Quoting sunshinebebe26:

Well I will still say a wedding night is more special if the bride is pure, I will encourage my boys to marry virgins and tell them why. I want them to be with a woman that wanted to save herself for her dh and not just give it away to the first dude she comes in contact with!

Quoting daughteroftruth:

That is your perspective because that is all you know (as far as the wedding night not being special).  Dh's and our honeymoon was very special, and we didn't even have sex the entire time we were on it.  










Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:03 AM

Hence the COMDOMS AND DENTAL DAM!!!!!!!

Do I want her having sex? No, but it's not my choice to make. It's not my sex life. It's hers. She has to make these choices for herself. All I can do it try and guide her down the right path and make sure she is protected. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

Some STD can be transmitted through the mouth.

WHy would you WANT Your kids having sex? Why would you want them taking the risk?

I dont understand why you want to justify teens having sex. \

Quoting Anonymous:

Hench the condoms and dental dams. ;}

Are you one of those people who feel sex= STDs? It doesn't. Unprotected sex =s STDs lol

My DD knows the reality of sex. She also knows how to protect herself from diseases and pregnancy. I don't see the problem. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

Im sorry but the European countries have different values and morals verses america. In america people are inspired by freedom to be wild, be this, be that. While I love how you want to compare all countries shoe fits one all will get the same results is simply unrealistic. You believe what you want, but I will bet later when your daughter comes to you with STD you will be back asking us for advice how this can happen. Sadly STD has increased in the USA. Not because of SEX, i stated that already. A lot of it from oral sex, boys telling girls it is safer to have oral sex... Not true. Many STD can still be transmitted through the mouth.

I just find it funny how so many parents want to believe that European teenagers must be wild and having regular sex lives as teenagers. Maybe they are, maybe they are lucky FOR NOW... But STD can be prevented, prevented by teaching our kids to hold off on sex including oral. Education is the key, gaining trust is the key, teaching your teens about the REALITY of sex is the key. Not BC.

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, our rates are so high because we are so backwards when it comes to sex.

Let's agree to disagree. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

Im sorry but we are not european, and its not backwards at all. We have a high rate of teens and STD in America. I think you need to wake up and face the reality.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:05 AM

kids shouldn't be having sex... but each to their own....

semamaearth
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:06 AM
I would be so embarrassed if my mom had even suggested that (she never, ever would have!!), but that's because sex was not an open discussion in my home growing up. I'm pretty sure my mom has never seem a vibrator!! Lol
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