Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I bought my 15 y/o DD a vibrater.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

We have always had a really open relationship about sex and her boyfriends. Shes been dating her current for abut a year and half, he is a a junior. Last week she went on a group date to our county fair. A couple days later she ask if she could be placed on the pill. I told her sure. I ask her why and if she was ready. She told told me at the fair she and her boyfriend "hooked up" (oral sex). She said after that it was kinda awkward and both of them felt weird about it. She said she doesn't think either of them are really ready to go there yet but that when they are together it's just kinda hard to stop (hence the want for pills).

 I told her that they both are probably not ready for sex but more sexually frustrated than anything else. I told her thats completely normal and that sex before both of them are really ready isnt the answer. She knows sex is a very emotional act, especially your first, and can't be taken back. I also told her there are things they an do as a couple and be herself to releave some of the tension. I talkedher about heavy petting and mutual masturbation and sex toys (for her own personal use). We talked about setting limits and protecttion a little more indepthly than before.

e looked up sex toys on amazon and I helped her pick something out small and talked to her about proper care for it when it get's here. We also discussed putting her on depo. We went and bought condoms for her room and purse, dental dams, spermacide from amazon.

I'm proud of her for being open with me. I would rather know and help than not know and pop up with a grand child or her being regretful for doing something she was not prepared for. I hope that when she really is ready she will come to me again.

How would you have handled it?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (461-470):
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Well, if that works for you and yours!

Quoting Anonymous:

When using spermicide, condoms, and hormonal.....the rate of pregnacey is almost a negative.

It's not my sex life to decide what goes on in it. I would home I have raised her to have a high self value and worth and to not just give herself to someone who means nothing.

Quoting Ladysigma07:

Yeah, No! I applaud you and your daughters relationship but not in my house. No Way..... She isn't old enough to take care of any baby that she may possibly bring into my home. Let's not forget about that 1%.

Will you feel the same if her and her bf broke up and she started dating someone else. Are you ok with multiple sex partners?

Quoting Anonymous:

Okay with? Not really, but I'm not naive. We can't be home with her 24/7. I'd like for her to have constant availability* to them. If they were to do something in her room all she would have to do is reach over into her nightstand. Close, quick, and easy.

Quoting Ladysigma07:

Condoms in her room? So your ok with you're 15 year old having premarital sex in your house?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:54 AM

I'd have handled it the same. My was completely the oppossite. She even thinks maturbation is wrong. I grew up sexually repressed, and when I did finally start having sex, which I did in my mothers didn't matter how many rules there were, I still did it. When i did start having sex, I kinda went off the deepend. I guess my thinking was, well, I'm damned now, might as well go all out...and I did. 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:40 AM
3 moms liked this

Anyone who believes that their teen will not have sex or think about masturbating just because they put the fear of the devil in them with religion has not been out in the world to see that teen pregnancy rates are high everywhere and have been for centuries.  I think you did the right thing and I hope to have the courage the way that you did with my daughter when she reaches that age.  I gave my boys condoms in their early teens because I know that I cannot be with them 24/7 and I also know that if I tell them not to do it, it will make them want to do it more. Some children are thinking about sex at that age, others are not thinking about it but I can guarantee that they are ALL hearing about it in school.  Unless your child lives in a box, you are kidding yourself into believe anything else.  Kudos to you!  I wish you the best and thanks for posting this, it may help someone somewhere to make a better decision for the people who will be tomorrow's leaders.

by Anonymous 62 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:58 AM
I agree with you but please don't put her on the depo. You both will hate it!
by Anonymous 63 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Depo is NOT good for young girls. It's not good for anyone. Can cause horrible issues.
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Lizzi, she's not worth it. She takes a bunch of shit outo f context, mixes your words and tries to seem smarter and that she is ALWAYS right. No point in talking to a closed minded prude.

Quoting lizzi6692:

No one identifies themselves using troll on the internet unless that is their ultimate goal. And you may believe what you want about me just as I am allowed to believe what I want about you. I'll keep those beliefs to myself though, I was taught that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all.

Quoting thetrollcat:

Im sorry but my name is only a CM ID stored in their database likely MySQL and designed using phpMyAdmin, where 100 tables are set up with field input... Here this name is stored on the grand site of CM in a database so that people can identify me apart from others, and most importantly, Anonymous.

Lots of people have lots of different names, cuddle bear, toddle noodle whatever.

Resorting to insulting a name is really a waste time and effort, and shows you are obiously aggitated you could not change my mind to agree with your rambling bullshit.

Now you can make judgement all you want. I am a firm believer you are a young mom, barely past your teen years, and you are certain you must know it all. I live by experience.

Quoting lizzi6692:

From the minute I read your username I questioned if I should even bother responding to you. After reading one of your posts I decided to give it a shot, but you ended up living up to your name after all. 

by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I wore a pad the entire year I had my IUD for that same reason.

Quoting singlemama0905:

Coming from someone who got the IUD without having had a vaginal experience was MISERABLE. I had a ton if cramping and pain after getting it and 6 months later got it out because I was soo sick of my period being totally crazy. Like....i would bleed SUPER go through a super pad in less than 45 minutes for about 6 hrs, it would start suddenly and stop just as suddenly...and I've go through it 4-6 times a month, each time woth really really bad cramps. I was never more thankful than I was gettin that damn thing out.

Quoting -spork2.0-:

That link right there says its harder for someone without a previous pregnancy to retain the IUD in their uterus. It also hurts a hell of a lot more on insertion for someone who has not had a cervix dilate. Also.. teens arent as worried about risks. Teens are more likely to think "hey I have an IUD I wont get pregnant, I dont need to use condoms".. and IUDs leave your uterus at higher risk for STIs to spread to the uterus.

Quoting ninjakids:

Quoting -spork2.0-:

Mirena is *not* a good idea for someone who has not given vaginal birth before.

Quoting ninjakids:

Look into mirena :) its what Im looking into. I started depo at her age and did great for two years and stopped taking it. That's when they changed the formula, i went back on it and i went down to ( after second ds ds) 170 pp & after one shot of depo Im up to 190 with no change in diet and breastfeeding...not to mention the constantly getting sick etc. :(

Quoting Anonymous:

 What do you suggest?

She is kinda forgetful and i'm worried she wont remember pills :/

Quoting ninjakids:

Depo will make her miserable! Trust me.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Also Not Paul on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:34 PM

I think you handled it well. I hope I can have a relationship with my son that's as open as that. At least then I don't have to worry so much about him coming home with some girl he got pregnant because we never talked about it. I know a lot of people would disagree with the actions you took, but places that teach abstinance only tend to have far higher rates of unplanned teen pregnancy as well as higher risk of spreading disease. My mother found a condom in my binder from a school health class when I was 16 and FREAKED out, so I had no idea what was normal or healthy because I had no one to teach me. Good on you.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:45 PM
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:31 PM

Certainly not the way you did....

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)