Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I bought my 15 y/o DD a vibrater.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

We have always had a really open relationship about sex and her boyfriends. Shes been dating her current for abut a year and half, he is a a junior. Last week she went on a group date to our county fair. A couple days later she ask if she could be placed on the pill. I told her sure. I ask her why and if she was ready. She told told me at the fair she and her boyfriend "hooked up" (oral sex). She said after that it was kinda awkward and both of them felt weird about it. She said she doesn't think either of them are really ready to go there yet but that when they are together it's just kinda hard to stop (hence the want for pills).

 I told her that they both are probably not ready for sex but more sexually frustrated than anything else. I told her thats completely normal and that sex before both of them are really ready isnt the answer. She knows sex is a very emotional act, especially your first, and can't be taken back. I also told her there are things they an do as a couple and be herself to releave some of the tension. I talkedher about heavy petting and mutual masturbation and sex toys (for her own personal use). We talked about setting limits and protecttion a little more indepthly than before.

e looked up sex toys on amazon and I helped her pick something out small and talked to her about proper care for it when it get's here. We also discussed putting her on depo. We went and bought condoms for her room and purse, dental dams, spermacide from amazon.

I'm proud of her for being open with me. I would rather know and help than not know and pop up with a grand child or her being regretful for doing something she was not prepared for. I hope that when she really is ready she will come to me again.

How would you have handled it?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (531-540):
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 Who the hell gets tired of a vibrator??? I fucking LOVE my vibrator! My vibrator is like a little vibrating penis shaped best friend. We spend  a lot of time together, my vibrator and I! I would never forsake my vibrator! Penis shmenis, does a penis vibrate??? I think not!

Quoting 1BoyManyGirls:

I agree Anon. Thank you for saying exactly what I thought.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well, be that as it may, this is AMERICA. That would be groovy if everyone thought like that. I'm not knocking you for being the best mother you know how to be. I know ALOT of mothers who thought that if they are this open with their children they could protect them when in fact all you've done is taken them to the next level. She is going to get tired of that vibrator and start looking for the real thing.

I have 14 and 16 year old girls. We (my entire family) teach them to focus on themselves by getting a good education and becoming successful FIRST. Then one day a good man will find you. I keep it very, very real with my girls. I'm not ignorant enough to think to think they will never have sex, but there is no way in hell I would introduce it to them in any fashion.I let them know I am not their friend I am their MOTHER and they know they can come to me and their dad for anything, anytime.

like I said I am not bashing your parenting skills. But at this rate and teaching in that style you will be a grandma sooner than later.

by Anonymous 68 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this
Ten years ago, I was a teen and while my mother didn't go out and buy me a vibrator, I figured out a way to get my own. I attempted sex at 16 and felt regretful, even though we didn't get very far. I knew I didn't want to be a teen mother even at that age, but a teens libido is overactive and I needed to find a way to relieve it and I had an older gf that suggested a worked, I still fooled around with my bf but we never went that far again, until I was ready! I'm now 28 and just had my first child. It worked for me! And no it didn't encourage the real thing,. I'm not that old, or that young but I remember being a horny teen girl
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 3:33 AM
It is the worst birthcontrol out there. It should be banned.

Try and look up something else.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 3:41 AM

im pretty sure at fifteens it more of a case of with your knowledge or without

Quoting thetrollcat:

unbelievable you let her date so young... SMH

by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 3:51 AM
1 mom liked this
****APPLAUSE**** I would do exactly what you did!!! I award you "mother of the year"!!!!

*NOT being a smart ass either ....
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:57 AM

I think you did the right thing. This way she is prepared no matter what she chooses to do. 

The mothers saying this is wrong are the ones who are going to end up with pregnant teens because their teens didn't know what to do in that situation. Shit when I graduated there were girls who still had no idea about sex and pregnancy. They got very very lucky. Some did not.

by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 3:05 AM

there's no way i'm reading 500+ responses. since she's not so good with remembering meds, i'd suggest nuvaring w/ condoms and spermicide.  i'd also make sure the boy's parents know what's going on. 

by Anonymous 69 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 3:07 AM
I don't think OP is okay with it -- I think she has accepted the possibility! Big difference!

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow I'm sorry but I don't agree with this at all...yes it's good that she is open with you but why in the world would u be ok with her being sexually active at 15?

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 3:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Thats awesome. i hope my daughter is that open with me as a teen. 

my only question...whats a dental dam? 

by Anonymous 70 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 3:12 AM

I wouldn't have gotten her a vibe. That's probably the only thing I would have done differently. I was given one... younger than that actually. I wish I hadn't been given one. It turned out to be more for the person who gave it to me than for me. He would put a camera in my room and watch. :/ 

It wasn't until my husband informed me that giving a teen sex toys is NOT normal and that what happened was not okay that I realized it wasn't the path I wanted to lead my own children down.

I understand the logic... I just don't think its the best decision. I'm clearly biased and maybe as time goes on and my child gets closer to the age where this is a concern I'll think differently.  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)