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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i want a divorce

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
And i already hinted..beg.. Asked.. But husband ignores it. we dont get along.. Im not a fan of his kids and never really develop good relatioship with them. He kept me isolated and tried to keep me dependent to him.he threaten to take our kids away from me.i have no job.i dont love him anymore and want this to be over.its not fair to me.to our kids..to his kids.. Miserable wife.. Unhappy mother.. Reluctant stepmom
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:25 PM
Mine are tween and adult who acts like i owe them the world


Quoting Mamasgirl524:

I'll say this and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm a step mom and I won't say I can't stand my sd but she's the same age as my daughter and extremely sheltered. She is shy and I feel guilty punishing her like I do daughter. It's hard to follow someone else's parenting while she's here every other weekend. You know? I raised my daughter for 5 years and helped her grow into the beautiful independent child she is. I had no part in how this child was raised and it complicates things. I just deal with it and try to treat both children the same although it's hard.



Quoting Anonymous:

I feel guilty.. I feel like an evil stepmom.






Quoting Mamasgirl524:

It very well may be that you and their father didn't have the best relationship but whatever it is I don't judge. Being a step parent is really hard!







Quoting Anonymous:

No.im not cruel to them.we just dont click together.and im thinking its better we split ways..i guess i dont have good marriage with their dad from the beginning and thats a factor in not having good relationship with thwm as well.or im just one of those who arent shaped to b a stepmom










Quoting Mamasgirl524:

Lol you're not a fan of his kids!





Girl don't hint do it! You deserve to be happy.



SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:25 PM
You can file for divorce, he cant stop you

Start making a plan and put money to the side
If you are going to sit on your ass an talk about how you want a divorce and list the things preventing you from getting one, youre wasting time.

Start making a plan and stop daydreaming

I dont know why woman always think they cant get out? If you show fear he will feed off of it. Dont let him intimidate you. Speak up
First time you show youre scared, he will try to scare you the second time and the third and forth and so on
This is why women should work after having kids
It all looks nice and great when he tells you to stay home and what hes doing is controlling you. Its not so luxurious when shit happens and you want to leave.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:26 PM

If he locks your laptop and phone "again" I suggest you walk to the neighbor's house and call the police. They can get you and the kids to the nearest shelter, you can do that right now actually.

abaggett
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:29 PM
Having a plan is always good. And it is scary, but just know that its what's best. Maybe the children don't understand right now,but i don't expect them to. But you will realize its the best thing you could have done. I was terrified when I decided to leave my husband, in fear that he was going to beat me to death, it wasn't that he was a bad father, he just wasn't a great husband to me and u didn't want my daughter thinking it was ok for anyone to treat her that way. So when he left to go outside i locked him out called the cops and called my sister to.pick me up. I was able to leave with my daughter and my thing safely and untouched. So what I'm saying is make a plan, follow through with it, and don't look back. It will be tough at first, but with time it will get easier. Everyone deserves to be happy.
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Time to go get a job, build up your confidence, and stand up for yourself!
Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Eek! That must be hard!

Quoting Anonymous:

Mine are tween and adult who acts like i owe them the world




Quoting Mamasgirl524:

I'll say this and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm a step mom and I won't say I can't stand my sd but she's the same age as my daughter and extremely sheltered. She is shy and I feel guilty punishing her like I do daughter. It's hard to follow someone else's parenting while she's here every other weekend. You know? I raised my daughter for 5 years and helped her grow into the beautiful independent child she is. I had no part in how this child was raised and it complicates things. I just deal with it and try to treat both children the same although it's hard.





Quoting Anonymous:

I feel guilty.. I feel like an evil stepmom.








Quoting Mamasgirl524:

It very well may be that you and their father didn't have the best relationship but whatever it is I don't judge. Being a step parent is really hard!









Quoting Anonymous:

No.im not cruel to them.we just dont click together.and im thinking its better we split ways..i guess i dont have good marriage with their dad from the beginning and thats a factor in not having good relationship with thwm as well.or im just one of those who arent shaped to b a stepmom












Quoting Mamasgirl524:

Lol you're not a fan of his kids!






Girl don't hint do it! You deserve to be happy.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
msmom29
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:33 PM
If you didn't like his kids why did you marry in the first place. I would never have married my husband if he didn't like my daughter. Not trying to bash you I know what's its like to be unhappy with a spouse that's why I got divorced from my daughters father, but it really bothers me when people marry someone and know they have children and then say tey don't like them. People with kids are a package deal.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:38 PM
We got married before i met his kids. I know i was stupid.i tried to get out of the marriage but got pregnant quickly and with no money no job..i gave it up to move with him..no car.. I got stuck.


Quoting msmom29:

If you didn't like his kids why did you marry in the first place. I would never have married my husband if he didn't like my daughter. Not trying to bash you I know what's its like to be unhappy with a spouse that's why I got divorced from my daughters father, but it really bothers me when people marry someone and know they have children and then say tey don't like them. People with kids are a package deal.

nelliesmommy
by NoTtOdaY:) on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:41 PM
You deserve to be happy. Abuse only gets worse. I know from experience.

Quoting Anonymous:

Im gonna start researching.before he locks the laptop and take my fon away again.




Quoting nelliesmommy:

Go to a shelter. Get a job. Move on...Good luck!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LilynAustin
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:53 PM

There are ways around all of that.  He is controlling you through finances.  That is NOT right.  Please, look into your rights, and how to get out.  I know it can seem daunting, and like too much to handle at times, but you and your kids deserve to be happy.  He isn't just being mean, he is being abusive.  Trust me, control is just the beginning.  It does and will get worse.  

Do you have any family that could help?  Friends?  I know you are quite isolated, but all you need is to reach out to someone in your lfe.  Be honest with them about EVERYTHING.  Call the DV hotline, contact your local charities, etc.  These people will be able to help you to move on with your life, and hook you up with programs that make it possible for women in situations like this to get out.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes.he has control of finances and the vehicles.he knew i cant run away and bring two toddlrrs away without money or vehicle


Quoting LilynAustin:

He threatens to take the kids away?  Yeah, NEVER going to happen.

Take the first step, go file the paper work for divorce and child support/custody.  Unless you are a raging alcoholic or drug user he cannot take your biological children away from you.  Get out of there.  Seriously, it sounds like an abusive/controlling situation.  Men who are abusive will use your kids against you, use finances, make threats, etc etc.  Please don't take this anymore.  Get help and get out.

I am willing to bet your husband is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusing you.  I am also willing to bet he uses money to keep you from leaving.  He controls all the money, the car, the bank accounts, right?  So, how could you possibly live without him?  I am also willing to bet that he uses the kids against you as well.  Does he ever threaten to take them away or call CPS on you?

These are empty threats.  Pack up, and move on.  He can't do anything.  If my hunch is correct you can get a free lawyer if you are a victim of domestic violence (which includes financial/emotional/verbal abuse).    

I'm sorry I take this very seriously.  Not just abuse cases, but every case where a woman feels she doesn't have a way out.  You do.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  The only person who can change your circumstances is you.



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