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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

She expects me to buy her some wine

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

I was out of work for over a week with my very sick son. My paycheck is what goes to pay the sitter for his child care. I was talking to my MIL about how I didn't know how I was going to pay the sitter because I didn't get a paycheck and my dh's had already gone to pay bills. We have a very very tight, strict budge and we never stray from it because we have it there for a reason. I asked my MIL if she thought it would be rude to ask my sitter if I could maybe pay her with my next paycheck. She keeps a couple of other children, and the money is "extra" because her husband has a really nice job. My MIL said not to worry about it, she had no plans for the week and would love to keep my son. My dh was there, too, and she told him we could just save this week's paycheck, put it towards Christmas, and then go back to the sitter next week. We thought it would be a good idea, so we thanked her and told her we'd see her Monday.
 Friday I go to pick him up, and she was a little frantic. Said she really needed to start baking for her dinner party that evening. I asked if I could do anything, and she asked me to go to the store and buy 3 bottles of wine. She told me the kind, and so I just asked, okay, how do you want to pay for it? She said, well, I thought that could just be my payment for watching D all week. I explained that I get paid Monday and that I had $5 left after going grocery shopping the night before. I joked I could buy her a cheap bottle of wine, but I just didn't have the money. She got upset and asked how I could not have it when we didn't have to pay the sitter. I told her again that we went grocery shopping, and put some aside in the Christmas fund (though not much) and I didn't even have the checkbook for that account. She told me I needed to call DH then because it was really rude to not even offer to buy it for her. I left a little shocked and called my dh to ask, and he said yes, it was a little rude to not even offer to buy the wine. He would have bought it. We don't buy ourselves alcohol because right now it isn't in the budget. It isn't that I didn't want to buy it for her, but I literally had $5 to my name. Had she not told us she'd watch my son for free, I would have had some cash with me or something.
Should I have offered and not assumed she would actually watch him for free?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:58 PM
This is exactly why I question others niceness, sounds like she'd had it planned from the moment she offered, she knows your situation, is trying to make you look like a flaky, bad person. Whereas, she's a manipulative, two-faced cunt, I hope you don't have to deal with her much after this.
Lovemyfamilyof8
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:00 PM
2 moms liked this

 I mean, it would be the right thing to buy it since she wasn't getting paid. First you said that you couldn't pay her due to financial issues, then you said that she watches him for free.... which is it? I smell BS. Her and your DH are right.... I mean it was kinda like, thanks, but screw you, AND you asked if there was anything you could do, her knowing you owed her, it makes sense.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:01 PM

I thought it was so unfair to catch me off guard like that, then blame me. She knows how we are with our money right now. We're really trying to build up our credit and save like crazy, and she knows I don't carry cash with me (so I don't spend!!, so why would just do this? I felt so worthless when I left, and wondered if maybe I should have offered, but then I told dh, I just assumed your mother was doing us a favor like she said. Why would I go to her house ready to buy her wine, when I had no idea she needed it? Maybe if she had called first.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is exactly why I question others niceness, sounds like she'd had it planned from the moment she offered, she knows your situation, is trying to make you look like a flaky, bad person. Whereas, she's a manipulative, two-faced cunt, I hope you don't have to deal with her much after this.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:01 PM
She's his grandmother, gratis is expected, family helps out when needed, no strings, no questions.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:03 PM

she offered to watch him because I had been out of work and did not get paid so could not pay my sitter. I was talking to her, trying to figure out how to handle that situation. Looking back, I should have just asked my sitter if I could pay her the next week. It probably would be gone over much better. my MIL offered to keep him for the week so we wouldn't have to pay our sitter, because I wasn't going to have a paycheck

Quoting Lovemyfamilyof8:

 I mean, it would be the right thing to buy it since she wasn't getting paid. First you said that you couldn't pay her due to financial issues, then you said that she watches him for free.... which is it? I smell BS. Her and your DH are right.... I mean it was kinda like, thanks, but screw you, AND you asked if there was anything you could do, her knowing you owed her, it makes sense.


Dinimon
by NoCookiesForYou on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I think it would've been a nice gesture but she shouldn't expect it after offering to watch him for free.
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Lovemyfamilyof8
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:04 PM

 OHHHH, this is about your MIL, not the sitter.... I had it backwards.. so sorry! Well screw that, she is wrong for that! HUGS <3 Sorry again

Quoting Anonymous:

she offered to watch him because I had been out of work and did not get paid so could not pay my sitter. I was talking to her, trying to figure out how to handle that situation. Looking back, I should have just asked my sitter if I could pay her the next week. It probably would be gone over much better. my MIL offered to keep him for the week so we wouldn't have to pay our sitter, because I wasn't going to have a paycheck

Quoting Lovemyfamilyof8:

 I mean, it would be the right thing to buy it since she wasn't getting paid. First you said that you couldn't pay her due to financial issues, then you said that she watches him for free.... which is it? I smell BS. Her and your DH are right.... I mean it was kinda like, thanks, but screw you, AND you asked if there was anything you could do, her knowing you owed her, it makes sense.

 

 

Proud Army wife and SAHM to seven! christmas treeholding ornaments

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Exactly, last minute sprung it on you.

Don't buy into her guilt trip, it wasn't discussed before, it wasn't a prior condition to watching him, it's not your problem she didn't buy the wine for HER dinner party.

Quoting Anonymous:

I thought it was so unfair to catch me off guard like that, then blame me. She knows how we are with our money right now. We're really trying to build up our credit and save like crazy, and she knows I don't carry cash with me (so I don't spend!!, so why would just do this? I felt so worthless when I left, and wondered if maybe I should have offered, but then I told dh, I just assumed your mother was doing us a favor like she said. Why would I go to her house ready to buy her wine, when I had no idea she needed it? Maybe if she had called first.


Quoting Anonymous:

This is exactly why I question others niceness, sounds like she'd had it planned from the moment she offered, she knows your situation, is trying to make you look like a flaky, bad person. Whereas, she's a manipulative, two-faced cunt, I hope you don't have to deal with her much after this.


Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:05 PM
1 mom liked this
She's in the wrong. You explained the situation, she offered. End of story.
AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:07 PM

i think she is amazingly rude for offering to watch your child for free because she understands that you have no money and then expect you to pay her for it in wine?  thats crazy.   i would take my son to the sitter from now on. 

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