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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Anyone else married to a selfish pig?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Whatever my husband can do to put himself first is what he does. Day after day I give him the benefit of the doubt and day after day I am disappointed. He spends the majority of his time at home on his Ipad playing stupid childish games. He never thanks me or tells me he appreciates me. I am always telling him thank you and how much I appreciate him. Even if he does something like take out the trash (on rare occasions) I am there to tell him thank you. I've talked to him about it and he tells me he has a hard time sharing his feelings. Well, come on, after 7 years of marriage you'd think he'd catch on and grow up a little bit. He's still the same person he was when he was 25 and he's now 32. I take care of the house, the kids, go to school, and did work full time until I had our son 10 weeks ago. He works for a cable company in our area, knocking on doors or standing in walmart selling cable. He is so damn lazy, does hardly a thing around the house when he's home and expects to be catered to. I am so sick of it. I am sick of being his last priority. Here's an example, a few nights in a row I gave him a back rub with lotion for half an hour at a time. Last night I hinted a few times until he said, "Come sit in front of me, I'll give you a back rub" but rather than just giving me one, he's got his Ipad on his lap and continually stops to poke at it and play his games. Heres another example: yesterday after noon he tells the kids he's going to play bean bag toss with them after lunch, next thing you know he's on the phone....for an hour!. Day before: I find a sitter and ask him if he wants to go out to dinner, I want to go somewhere romantic, intimate, so we can be close and talk and just have a good time. He wants to go to...Old Country Buffet! Thats where we end up. As soon as we get home, I"m thinking we can spend some time together, hang out, maybe play a game or something. He turns on the TV and turns on a show he knows I don't like! WTF??I have tried being extra nice, I have tried subtle hints, I've tried ignoring him to see how he feels, I've tried being blunt about. He always gets defensive and won't talk to me. Acts like its my fault. Well, now I'm at the point where I just want to get through this holiday season and then hand him divorce papers. I'd rather be alone and happy than married and miserable. I don't think he'll ever come around. I don't think I ask too much, but he sure seems to think so. Sorry so long. I'm just so frustrated!

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Replies (11-20):
Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Have divorce papers drawn up and hand them to him. You don't have to actually file for divorce, but show him how serious you are.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:49 PM

I have tried that, treating him like he treats me, but I feel my kids will be neglected and my house become a complete disaster. I have ignored him for several days at a time, but he seems to think its awesome! LOL Then he gets his way. Sometimes I think he's depressed, but he won't admit it and won't do anything about it. I liked the idea one poster had about not doing his dishes, laundry, etc. Except for the fact that he still would never do his dishes and eventually we'd have none! :P We have a bathroom downstairs that only he uses and I haven't cleaned the toilet in like 3 months....he doesn't care....his shower is moldy as hell....he doesn't care. He's disgusting, lazy and selfish. I am just so fed up.

Quoting AmaliaD:

mine gets like that but i get bitchy about it and he stops for awhile.   he is also addicted to his ipad and tv shows but he is more reasonable.    i am pretty strong willed,   if i told a man i wanted a romatic dinner and he went to a buffet - i doubt i would even agree to get of the car and go into the restaurant.    could you try treating him like he treats you -??  it could be fun!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:53 PM

that is not a bad idea. I am going to keep that smiley mask on till after christmas, I don't want my kids to be affected or to have a bad holiday season. I want him to change, I love him, I just feel so miserable not even being on his list of priorities. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I can be a bitch sometimes, but only with good reason and when I feel strongly about something.  I am not afraid to speak my mind, but also try other alternatives like killing with kindness and using subtle hinting before the bitch comes out.

Quoting Kaybean:

Have divorce papers drawn up and hand them to him. You don't have to actually file for divorce, but show him how serious you are.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:53 PM

Wow...it sounds like we have the EXACT same effing husband, except mine wasn't always this way. I have been telling him I'm done with this stagnant ass marriage but he swears up and down he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Then he goes back into his own little world. Pfft.

Robsessed98
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:54 PM
My ex was like that. After a while, I went on strike and did literally nothing for him. Washed everyones clothes except his, cooked dinner and made plates for me and kids then immediately put the leftovers in the disposal for out for the dogs. If he crossed the line to my side of the bed, I got up and went to the couch. I literally refused to acknowledge his existence. After a couple of weeks he came around. Of course, we ended up divorced but that was for entirely different reasons.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:54 PM

Nope, very much the opposite. He is always putting the family first. Sorry, I don't have any advice. I'd tell him everything you wrote in your post though. Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:55 PM

I feel your pain. My DH is selfish too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:56 PM

RIGHT??!! When we first met and up until a couple years ago (right around when I started college) he was amazing! Romantic, giving, caring, sweet, helpful. Then suddenly one day he was a different person. I don't know what went wrong or how to change it. But, if I can't, I'm gone. Me and the kids don't deserve to be last on his list! I always put my kids first. Even if I have to pee and the baby needs changing, I change the baby first and pee later. He'll leave the baby crying for 15 minutes (or until I go take care of him) to go take a shit! I know he's not pooping that whole time, he's just being selfish! (He "poops" like 10 times a day!)

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow...it sounds like we have the EXACT same effing husband, except mine wasn't always this way. I have been telling him I'm done with this stagnant ass marriage but he swears up and down he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Then he goes back into his own little world. Pfft.


Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Yes, definitely wait until after the holidays, but then, I would seriously suggest trying this since you have tried everything else already. If you do show him how serious you are by having papers drawn up and he still doesn't make an effort, then he's NEVER going to. I would also tell him the effort isn't going to last a couple weeks and then slowly go back to the old ways either. Good luck!


Quoting Anonymous:

that is not a bad idea. I am going to keep that smiley mask on till after christmas, I don't want my kids to be affected or to have a bad holiday season. I want him to change, I love him, I just feel so miserable not even being on his list of priorities. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I can be a bitch sometimes, but only with good reason and when I feel strongly about something.  I am not afraid to speak my mind, but also try other alternatives like killing with kindness and using subtle hinting before the bitch comes out.


Quoting Kaybean:

Have divorce papers drawn up and hand them to him. You don't have to actually file for divorce, but show him how serious you are.



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Grumpylilpixy
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:59 PM

I hear yeah mama... Me too I am actually looking forward to 2013.

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