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Anyone else married to a selfish pig?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Whatever my husband can do to put himself first is what he does. Day after day I give him the benefit of the doubt and day after day I am disappointed. He spends the majority of his time at home on his Ipad playing stupid childish games. He never thanks me or tells me he appreciates me. I am always telling him thank you and how much I appreciate him. Even if he does something like take out the trash (on rare occasions) I am there to tell him thank you. I've talked to him about it and he tells me he has a hard time sharing his feelings. Well, come on, after 7 years of marriage you'd think he'd catch on and grow up a little bit. He's still the same person he was when he was 25 and he's now 32. I take care of the house, the kids, go to school, and did work full time until I had our son 10 weeks ago. He works for a cable company in our area, knocking on doors or standing in walmart selling cable. He is so damn lazy, does hardly a thing around the house when he's home and expects to be catered to. I am so sick of it. I am sick of being his last priority. Here's an example, a few nights in a row I gave him a back rub with lotion for half an hour at a time. Last night I hinted a few times until he said, "Come sit in front of me, I'll give you a back rub" but rather than just giving me one, he's got his Ipad on his lap and continually stops to poke at it and play his games. Heres another example: yesterday after noon he tells the kids he's going to play bean bag toss with them after lunch, next thing you know he's on the phone....for an hour!. Day before: I find a sitter and ask him if he wants to go out to dinner, I want to go somewhere romantic, intimate, so we can be close and talk and just have a good time. He wants to go to...Old Country Buffet! Thats where we end up. As soon as we get home, I"m thinking we can spend some time together, hang out, maybe play a game or something. He turns on the TV and turns on a show he knows I don't like! WTF??I have tried being extra nice, I have tried subtle hints, I've tried ignoring him to see how he feels, I've tried being blunt about. He always gets defensive and won't talk to me. Acts like its my fault. Well, now I'm at the point where I just want to get through this holiday season and then hand him divorce papers. I'd rather be alone and happy than married and miserable. I don't think he'll ever come around. I don't think I ask too much, but he sure seems to think so. Sorry so long. I'm just so frustrated!

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Replies (21-30):
PiNkIsPuNk
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:59 PM
You married him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
armstrong7984
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:00 PM

wish i had an idea of what would fix it, but my dh is very lazy once he gets home from work, and he does work very hard at work, but once he gets home its him and his video games, or looking up cheats online, if not those hes on the phone playing stupid games...and its hard to get his attention too, and having a convo with him is nearly impossible when hes on those. It's tough cause men think your nagging when you ask them to do something then when you do it yourself your making them feel like crap. OMG. if i massage his back like you were saying for 30 mins and then  i ask for one and i get a 3 min one while hes still off and on with his fb game online, like he has to stop to click it then resume again..gets very annoying!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:00 PM

The biggest problem is he doesn't see himself that way. He doesn't think he is, and doesn't care to see what I see. He doesn't care how much I suffer, as long as he doesn't.

Quoting Anonymous:

I feel your pain. My DH is selfish too.


Sandiekd21
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I divorced the selfish pig and married a generous, kind and loving man.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Like I said, he wasn't like this when we got married! It wasn't until a couple years ago he became this bad! He used to be sweet, thoughtful, romantic, caring, generous, fun. I think he switched himself with his selfish twin!

Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

You married him.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Same here. I remind him that not everything is about him. It pisses me off. He sees no problem with his behavior.

Quoting Anonymous:

The biggest problem is he doesn't see himself that way. He doesn't think he is, and doesn't care to see what I see. He doesn't care how much I suffer, as long as he doesn't.

Quoting Anonymous:

I feel your pain. My DH is selfish too.



wineisfine
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 You are good at playing the martyr, how about instead of complaining to a bunch of women you get his butt in gear. The reason he acts the way he does is because you allow it, if you put your foot down and stop the behavior he can't do it. I feel no sympathy for women who play the victim, but do nothing to change it!

armstrong7984
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:04 PM

your married to my husbands twin! my dh will have like an hour to get ready to be somewhere or for his boss to pick him up for work in the mornings.., well he will put it off so long that then he doesnt have time to eat breakfast, take our dogs outside to go potty, or to even brush his teeth somedays. Meanwhile ill clean the house, takes dogs outside for a while, take a shower, etc within that amount of time. i dont get it. im afraid if we do have kids i will be doing everything.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh I have definitely told him. Again and again. It's the only "argument" we have. He knows he does it, I just mentioned it this afternoon. I am not feeling good, sore throat, fever, cough, headache. He told our 5 year old he was going to get her ready for school in a few minutes. Next thing I know he's in the shower! I got her ready and when he came upstairs I said "I thought you were going to get her ready for school?" He says "We have 20 minutes!" In his high pitched, defensive voice. By the time he got his hair done and himself ready it was time for them to go and he was snapping at her about getting her shoes and coat on. They didn't have 20 minutes. Yeah, 20 minutes for HIM. I said he puts himself first, and it isn't fair. He doesn't care, or doesn't think he does. Every time I try to talk to him he gets defensive and blames me.

Quoting inmybizz:


Quoting emeraldangel2.0:

tell him what you told us.

how is he supposed to know what you want if you dont tell him?

men are stupid. they cant pick up on hints, you have to be straight with them

this..

 

 

PiNkIsPuNk
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:06 PM
You said he is still the same person he was when he was 25 and is now 32 and that you have been married for 7 years. SO you must have known how he was but still married him.

Quoting Anonymous:

Like I said, he wasn't like this when we got married! It wasn't until a couple years ago he became this bad! He used to be sweet, thoughtful, romantic, caring, generous, fun. I think he switched himself with his selfish twin!


Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

You married him.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
armstrong7984
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:09 PM

my dh is also very very lazy when it comes to doing anything around the house. I ask him to do things and he forgets or puts it off then i do it, then he gets mad at me for doing it, but says that he hates when i nag. I dont know what to do so any suggestions would be great. I do all cleaning, cooking, taking care of our dogs and cat, you name it i do it all then he gets mad at me for doing it all but he doesnt do it. one time he said dont touch the garbage well it sat literally for three days in the kitchen until i brought it into the garage. nothing gets done unless i do it. He works for hard at work but when he comes home he gets on his video games and thats it.

Quoting wineisfine:

 You are good at playing the martyr, how about instead of complaining to a bunch of women you get his butt in gear. The reason he acts the way he does is because you allow it, if you put your foot down and stop the behavior he can't do it. I feel no sympathy for women who play the victim, but do nothing to change it!


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