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I invited my MIL to my homebirth...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

And said she was "going to come anyways."

Why do people not think it is a big deal to invite someone to their birth whether it be out of hospital, in hospital or a birth center? Why do people just "expect" to be invited. It is an EXTREMELY intimate and EXTREMELY life changing experience to give birth rather it be c-section or vaginal.No matter how many times you give birth.

This is my second birth and she may not even make it since she lives 2,000 miles away.



Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:57 PM
Replies (101-110):
borgen0128
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:01 PM
At my first homebirth people just invited themselves in. It was beyond stressful. At my second one I did not inform them until baby had been born for 4-5 hours.
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BDolphins82
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM

I had a boyfriend back in the day that told me if I would get pregnant that his Mom, Dad, and siblings would all be allowed in the room.  He was one of 6 kids.  I flat out told him hell no.  And that the only one I would consider in the room would be his mom depending on if we were close or not.  He did not like my answer he thought everyone should be allowed in the room. 

Maevelyn
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:28 PM

idk, she might not have meant in the room, she might have meant in the house. I haven't had a home birth but I don't mind people hanging out before the big event. I don't do pain meds so it's not exactly a fun thing. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:36 PM

Yeah, I think my MIL was more than a little disappointed when DH told her it was just the 2 of us in the delivery room. Honestly, birth is not a spectator sport. The last person I wanted all up in my biz while giving birth was my MIL. My  own mom knew better than to even ask. LOL.

For both my births, it was my OB, one L&D nurse and DH. That was it. That was exactly what I wanted.

Maevelyn
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Everybody but my mom tried to talk me out of natural labor the first two times! I just had my 3rd dd and my SO mom is an OB nurse so I was super nervous about her birthing philosophy but she was so fantastic and supportive. She had natural labor with both her boys (except that they had to induce SO because her water had been broken for 6 weeks and they were afraid of infection, but she still skipped the pain meds.) Her professional opinion is that natural labors are easier and the recoveries are way quicker. Having people on your side who want you to get through it the way you want makes a huge difference. lol when I looked at my SO and said "I can't do this" he looked at me and said "You said you would say that and that it would mean it was time to push." He was right

Quoting Anonymous:

My first homebirth, my second all natural non medicated birth. My Grandmother and mom tried to talk me out of it but I educated my mother and she is on board. My MIL was kinda surprised I opt'ed for a homebirth this time around but she didn't try to talk me out of it or mention it. She just asked me what if something happened and I explained it to her. It's a very personal choice and it should definitely be entered with caution. It takes a lot of research and  a TON of midwife interviews to find the right one.


Quoting kde216:

Is this your first home birth? I want to have one so bad but my mil keeps talking me out of it.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 20 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:42 PM

I've often wondered that myself.  My mil, fil and mom were in the room the entire time I was in labor with ds, then they were all really annoyed when the doctor booted them out so I could have him.  My mom even tried coming back in when he was crowning. "Ummmm....Excuse me? Now's not a good time!" My crotch can only be seen by those who need to see it and sorry mom, but you don't need to see my crotch anymore.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:45 PM

my mom was like that. told my brother and i that she would be in the room for the birth of her first grandchild. my ds was born first and she was there because I wanted her there, my brother and SIL however didnt even tell her that my SIL was in labor... my mom ound out that my nephew was born 2 hours after the fact.

summerbear
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:49 PM
My mom has been in the room for all 3 of mine, but she does not "expect" to just be allowed in the room with this one. She will be allowed and I will invite her when I ask the other I want there when I am about 7 months along and making my birth plan.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 22 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:54 PM

I have always been too far away for my DH mother to even consider asking to be in the room. I ended up having a C section with all three anyways. I do plan on  having more. Home birth actually. If she were to ask I would tell her NO WAY! She is an absentee grandparent and mother to DH. No thanks. Our children feel bad she doesn't call, write and only visits when she needs to for her own good.

JonesMama
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:55 PM

Rude mil.

My mil expected to be in the delivery room when I had ds because he was the first grandchild (still the only one, 7 years later). She thought it was her right to be there because her sister had become a grandmother a short time before ds was due and she (mil's sis) was in with her dd for the birth of her grandchild. So that gave mil the right to be in with me, her daughter in law? Ummm...no.

I ended up with a c-section 5 weeks early, anyway, due to pre-eclampsia. There went mil's plans. Ha!

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