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so embarrassing, I can't believe I assumed

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
A few months ago I met a mom through my moms group. Its a Christian moms group, but open to moms of all faiths. This mom and I hit it off and today I invited her to attend mass with me. She looks at me odd like and says I hope you're not trying to convert me. I said I wasn't. She said you know Im muslim right? I said no. I just assumed she was Christian. But it makes sense. She was always asking religious questions that any Christian would know. But I thought it was because she's not from here. Anyway, im going to Juma? with her on Friday and she's coming to mass with me on Sunday. Im kinda looking forward to worshipping with her, but a bit nervous too. What can I expect? Should I buy a hijab to show respect?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:56 PM
Replies (31-40):
ABeautifulQadar
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:28 AM

First of all I didnt "put it out there" I was trying to help the OP out by showing her what she could wear. Second of all I am a recent convert and change doesnt come overnight. There is a hadith about not judging recent converts for not following everything right away. Islam takes time to embrace and learning never stops. There are some women who find it very easy to wear hijab but maybe find it difficult to pray, or to stop smoking or drinking.Not being able to wear hijab yet is a big reason I waited so long to convert but I wasnt willing to take the chance that I could die tomorrow knowing in my heart that Islam was right and denying it. God will forgive any sin but not denying Islam when you have embraced it in your heart. I dont wear hijab because its not something Im comfortable with doing right now. There are some people who would argue that it doesnt even say to wear hijab in the Quran since the commandment is along the lines of "cover your bosom and adornments". 

There is no where in the Quran that says a woman cannot wear makeup. When we pray we have to be free of makeup and nail polish because when we make wudu, washing for prayer, we cannot properly clean with those things on. A buffet religion? LOL sounds like other religions to me as well. Islam is pefect, Muslims are not.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.




pregnant

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Just curious,why don't you feel comfortable wearing hijab? If you truly embraced Islam, you wouldn't drink,smoke and would wear hijab. Looks like you are struggling with this commitment and shouldn't give advice to new converts
WLNL0507
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:48 PM
I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse

Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.



Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.




WLNL0507
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:59 PM

You don't know the personal struggle we face. It's not just a piece of fabric. I've lost all my family and most of my friends for this piece of fabric. Having people pretend to shoot me in the street. Being told to "Go back to my own country" when I was born and raised in this country and have lived here ever day of my life. I can handle it all so it wasn't such a big deal for me. Other people, especially ones very new to the religion have to fight little by little until they build up their knowledge and faith and if they take on too much at one time will end up resenting Islam and giving up. God knows this and has given us ways to handle it.  Even our Prophet Mohammed struggled after first finding Islam. People dumping animal parts on him when he is down in prayer. People leaving feces on his doorstep everyday. God knows how we as humans struggle and as long as we ARE struggling and not just ignorantly denying and disobeying things such as hijab....He will forgive it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse

Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.



Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 29, 2012 at 6:42 PM
Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.

Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse



Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.





Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2012 at 6:45 PM
Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.


Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.



Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse





Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.







Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.





anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 6:49 PM

you didnt judge her when she asked questions about Christianity did you? I doubt she would think twice about your "ignorance" and would be more than willing to answer anything you might ask. Im sure you have enough common sense not to ask offensive questions (are you a terrorist?- example... obviously)

Quoting Anonymous:

I will ask her about the hijab, cause I also wouldnt know where to get one near us. But I don't want to come off, idk, ignorant with some of my questions about what to expect.

I believe that we should be able to be friends and share our special celebrations with each other. I just can't believe in all this time I never realized she was muslim. Lol


Quoting Anonymous:

Just ask her.  Very cool of you both.  One of my best friends was married to a Muslim for a few years and he refused to attend mass with her.  



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I kind of did judge her when she asked. Only because I thought she was Christian and was shocked she didn't know those things. But not in a bad way, more like thats odd you don't know.
But I did have a nice learning experience at her masjid. She got me a very pretty "children's" hijab to wear, and she taught me wasul? Wadul- the way they wash. Id definitely go back with her. She also said she had a wonderful time at mass with me and my family. She said it was actually very similar to masjid (the kneeling, bowing)


Quoting anyotherday:

you didnt judge her when she asked questions about Christianity did you? I doubt she would think twice about your "ignorance" and would be more than willing to answer anything you might ask. Im sure you have enough common sense not to ask offensive questions (are you a terrorist?- example... obviously)

Quoting Anonymous:

I will ask her about the hijab, cause I also wouldnt know where to get one near us. But I don't want to come off, idk, ignorant with some of my questions about what to expect.



I believe that we should be able to be friends and share our special celebrations with each other. I just can't believe in all this time I never realized she was muslim. Lol





Quoting Anonymous:

Just ask her.  Very cool of you both.  One of my best friends was married to a Muslim for a few years and he refused to attend mass with her.  





anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:04 PM

I didnt even realize this was an old post. I am glad you had such a nice time :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I kind of did judge her when she asked. Only because I thought she was Christian and was shocked she didn't know those things. But not in a bad way, more like thats odd you don't know.
But I did have a nice learning experience at her masjid. She got me a very pretty "children's" hijab to wear, and she taught me wasul? Wadul- the way they wash. Id definitely go back with her. She also said she had a wonderful time at mass with me and my family. She said it was actually very similar to masjid (the kneeling, bowing)


Quoting anyotherday:

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