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so embarrassing, I can't believe I assumed

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
A few months ago I met a mom through my moms group. Its a Christian moms group, but open to moms of all faiths. This mom and I hit it off and today I invited her to attend mass with me. She looks at me odd like and says I hope you're not trying to convert me. I said I wasn't. She said you know Im muslim right? I said no. I just assumed she was Christian. But it makes sense. She was always asking religious questions that any Christian would know. But I thought it was because she's not from here. Anyway, im going to Juma? with her on Friday and she's coming to mass with me on Sunday. Im kinda looking forward to worshipping with her, but a bit nervous too. What can I expect? Should I buy a hijab to show respect?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:56 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:09 PM
Lol. Yes, its an outdated post. But she gave me a book called the new muslimah, I started reading it. While I am secure and firm in my Christian beliefs, I do like some of theirs. Like cleansing themselves before praying, and praying 5 times a day.


Quoting anyotherday:

I didnt even realize this was an old post. I am glad you had such a nice time :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I kind of did judge her when she asked. Only because I thought she was Christian and was shocked she didn't know those things. But not in a bad way, more like thats odd you don't know.

But I did have a nice learning experience at her masjid. She got me a very pretty "children's" hijab to wear, and she taught me wasul? Wadul- the way they wash. Id definitely go back with her. She also said she had a wonderful time at mass with me and my family. She said it was actually very similar to masjid (the kneeling, bowing)





Quoting anyotherday:


WomenWhoRunIt
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:11 PM

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to learn something new. I'm sure she will appreciate your thoughtfulness if you ask her what you need to wear or do. 

mahasin510
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:16 PM

Please dont be sorry. I sound like a bigot or did I hit a nerve? Just asking questions and making observations

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.


Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.



Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse





Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.







Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.






Megan11587
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Very neat! I love that you are so openminded.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ABeautifulQadar
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:17 PM

Excuse me. Maybe you should start by reading the post. This woman is not a new convert. She is visiting a mosque.

Quoting Anonymous:

Just curious,why don't you feel comfortable wearing hijab? If you truly embraced Islam, you wouldn't drink,smoke and would wear hijab. Looks like you are struggling with this commitment and shouldn't give advice to new converts


pregnant

Megan11587
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Oops you forgot to go anon

Quoting mahasin510:

Please dont be sorry. I sound like a bigot or did I hit a nerve? Just asking questions and making observations

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.





Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.





Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse







Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.









Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ABeautifulQadar
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:24 PM

No one here is making a special case for anyone she was only responding as to why it may be hard for me and other new converts to wear hijab. You people need to seriously read the whole thread before you start opening your big mouths about things. understand the conversation before you type. One person told me I shouldnt be advising a new Muslim when meanwhile this OP is Christian and just visiting a mosque and I was giving her advice on what to wear because she ASKED. How did this turn into a religious debate?

Quoting mahasin510:

Please dont be sorry. I sound like a bigot or did I hit a nerve? Just asking questions and making observations

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.


Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.



Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse





Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.







Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.







pregnant

mahasin510
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:28 PM

NOPE didnt forget, laying the cards on the table

Quoting Megan11587:

Oops you forgot to go anon

Quoting mahasin510:

Please dont be sorry. I sound like a bigot or did I hit a nerve? Just asking questions and making observations

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.





Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.





Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse







Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.









Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.








mahasin510
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:32 PM

Hey the conversation shifted that way and this happens on CM.You people need to seriously spend time practicing and not making excuses about why you dont do something. I guess you lost the translation when trying to communicate with someone in your home that doesnt speak english

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

No one here is making a special case for anyone she was only responding as to why it may be hard for me and other new converts to wear hijab. You people need to seriously read the whole thread before you start opening your big mouths about things. understand the conversation before you type. One person told me I shouldnt be advising a new Muslim when meanwhile this OP is Christian and just visiting a mosque and I was giving her advice on what to wear because she ASKED. How did this turn into a religious debate?

Quoting mahasin510:

Please dont be sorry. I sound like a bigot or did I hit a nerve? Just asking questions and making observations

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry. You sound like a bigot.


Quoting Anonymous:

Muslims are not the only one that suffer discrmination. Disabled individuals,skinny,obese,people of color,height challenged etc experience bias. Why do Muslims feel they have a special case?immigrant muslims usually cluster in the cultural groups and sometimes shun converts. I work with several muslim women and the indians stay together,and I never see them with the converts especially the women from Costa Rica. I see Muslims selling alcohol,pork and cigarettes in poor minority communities. Then they have the audacity to protest any slight they receive. They send millions of dollars back home,but they don't help the communities they poison. But they want to cry a river about how people are biased against.yes, like in any religion there are good and bad.



Quoting Anonymous:

I am not Muslim,just asking. Muslims aren't the only ones discriminated against.Gay people and people of color face the same thing.But if you truly believe,you will trust God and just do it.its fabric I just don't understand. This is just an excuse





Quoting WLNL0507:

It's called having different levels of faith, which Allah has described. Even our Prophets were tested in their faith. BeautifulQadar is like a brand new baby in the religion as a new convert. As with ANY life change, it is a learning process. She believes in Islam and feels it in her heart as the true faith of God. This is MOST important. After she declares her faith, everything else will come in its time. Allah knows her intentions and He is the only one who can truly judge anyone. You can NOT pick and choose what you want in Islam and if she never descides to wear hijab then yes she will be held accountable for that. Living in this country, it is extremely hard to wear hijab. I've been wearing it for 12 years and I still struggle. Not because I don't want to wear it but because of the ignorant glares and comments from people. If you need to work, it's a battle to get a job because the first thing they see when you walk in is your hijab. So, it's not easy. As a Muslim we should NOT judge anyone else because we do not know what their struggles are.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know it is your choice, but I have heard so much about Muslim women dressing modestly, not showing their hair to certain males etc. IF the Holy Quran commands it and you disobey, then yes you have committed a sin. Just because others dont follow the command doesnt make it ok. you make Islam look like a buffet religion-I'll do a little of this, skip that and I think I will practice that. Why have you decided not to wear hijab? Oh and I know it is between you and Allah, but you put it out there to be questioned.

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Its our choice. We are commanded in the Holy Quran to cover but not every Muslim woman does. Visit countries like Morocco and Egypt and there are plenty of Muslim women without one and wearing makeup. Is it a sin? Yes and Inshallah one day I will wear a hijab but right now I am not and its between me and God.







Quoting Anonymous:

Why don't you have on a scarf and  your neck is showing. Also I thought Muslim women didnt wear makeup

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Yes I cant believe I forgot to tell you to dress modestly too lol try to avoid anything too tight and make sure your legs and arms are covered to ankles and wrists. I have seen women in jeans in my mosque. I wear an abaya when I go. This pic is from our wedding celebration at home but this is what I would wear with hijab.








ididntdoit111
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 7:35 PM

Ask. Best way to find out! I'm sure she'll be fine with questions. Bravo to both of you for being so open!

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