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child support-- who's responsibility?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies

me and my ex have a child together. 7 years old.... CS was filed a month after he was born, but it took almost 2 years to get into the courts and for them to take the money from his job. between ages 2-3, he paid about 6 months per each year (so about a year total)...

he's currently in prison for not paying child support (and other things).... but he wants me to file some forgiveness thing- where it'll forgive all his past debt to DS (last i know, its over $10,000)....

thing is, when he wasnt locked up, i kept pushing him to go to the courts, and ask them to lower the amount, but he never did....

is this all MY responsibility- to forgive him for past debt? or should i just make him handle it all, since IMO, its his responsibility...? plus, lets be honest, the debt that i collected through the years (buying diapers, food, clothes, etc) on my credit card-- isnt forgiven when i'm not able to pay it off..

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
4noodles4me
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this
ummm NO! Id tell him to Don't think so!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:49 PM
Are you doing ok handling thongs by yourself? If so, I'd forgive. Nothing is gained by holding grudges, kwim?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:50 PM

part of me thinks-- since its not my business, if anything- its between the ex, DS and the courts, to let the 'adult' (aka ex) handle it... but then i feel like some money hungry bitch....

another part says, its not my money anyways and for the most part, i knew from day 1 that DS is fully my responsibility so just forget the past and let it all go... but then i feel, i'd be doing DS a disservice... i did use the money he put on the CS card, strictly for DS... and if i'm ever getting money on that card again, i plan on saving it up for either

A) DS to get a car with- i'll match half of whatever money he has, with the CS... like if he saves $2,000-- i'll put down $2000 from CS and whatevers left over, i'll give to DS or if there's not enough to match DS's money, throw my own money on it

B) DS to use towards college funds or

C) once he's 21, he can take the card and use it however he wants

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:50 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Are you doing ok handling thongs by yourself? If so, I'd forgive. Nothing is gained by holding grudges, kwim?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:51 PM

He can't drop the back CS without your permission.

I wouldn't do it though. When my ex gets out he will owe me lots of CS. No way am I forgiving that. It's my biggest bargaining chip to make sure he stays away from us.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:52 PM

honestly, no. i'm about $600 in debt with credit cards-- all of MY doing though... and a WHOLE lot more in debt with my dad-- who provides EVERYTHING for DS, when i'm not able to. right now, i'm between jobs and he's paying for child care, he got DS's school clothes, etc. i've kept all the recipts to pay him back, when i'm able to.... but at the same time, with CS, i always knew having DS would fall on me and basically my family.. i knew i could never count on my ex

Quoting Anonymous:

Are you doing ok handling thongs by yourself? If so, I'd forgive. Nothing is gained by holding grudges, kwim?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:52 PM
I wouldn't hold a grudge but I wouldn't forgive the debt either. He owes it and when he gets out he should start paying it.
invisibleme
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:52 PM
You have to be present in court and agree to drop the arrears.


Quoting Anonymous:

part of me thinks-- since its not my business, if anything- its between the ex, DS and the courts, to let the 'adult' (aka ex) handle it... but then i feel like some money hungry bitch....

another part says, its not my money anyways and for the most part, i knew from day 1 that DS is fully my responsibility so just forget the past and let it all go... but then i feel, i'd be doing DS a disservice... i did use the money he put on the CS card, strictly for DS... and if i'm ever getting money on that card again, i plan on saving it up for either

A) DS to get a car with- i'll match half of whatever money he has, with the CS... like if he saves $2,000-- i'll put down $2000 from CS and whatevers left over, i'll give to DS or if there's not enough to match DS's money, throw my own money on it

B) DS to use towards college funds or

C) once he's 21, he can take the card and use it however he wants


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:52 PM

Oh my hell! Why would you even THINK of signing that paper!

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:52 PM
I wouldn't do it.
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