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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why? (Question about men)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies

My BF and I are together and have been for a while

i am pretty much a home body, I do enjoy spending time with friends, but I will host a wine party or on a more social night, where both of our friends are there, I will sit back at home and serve beers.

I don't do anything special with my looks, my hair stays the same, I wear minimal make up, and only when I have to work or do something special.  Pretty plain when it comes to dressing as well, the most I do is dress business formal for work, the rest of the time it's jeans and a sweater or plain shirt. I don't do my nails, don't dye my hair, I do nothing that requires extra attention besides waxing.

I stay home a lot, study and work, that's pretty much my life.  I am just focused on being a mom, making money, and getting educated.  1 2 and 3


Well my guy enjoys the look of women, as do I, I appreciate a beautiful woman, I have no problems complimenting a pretty lady, just how I am.  But he seems to like to look at women with fake boobies, an extreme amount of make up, and obviously fake hair in some way.  ( I will admit he knows I enjoy looking at hott men too, and they look absolutely nothing like him, not that he's not hot, but I mean PURE EYE CANDY, but I just look at them like a piece of art and keep it moving.)

So I was like, do you want me to get dressed up more because thats what seems to catch your eye. 

He says "No I don't want you to do anything, you are perfect the way you are, and you don't even try."

So sweet but why look at these women like this if you think I am perfect?  KWIM???

Then one day I told him I wanted to dye my hair, but like with highlights.  he tells me he doesn't want me to because he likes the way it is.  So now I am just confused.

Is it that men enjoy eye candy but just want a down to earth woman to be with, or is there something wrong with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
spicy_n_sweet
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:38 PM

What's the difference in you appreciating eye candy for the mere fact that they are just eye candy and him doing the same?  

Why does there have to be some hidden desire, hidden meaning, something he prefers or something he wishes you looked like/did for yourself? Why can't he just look for the sake of looking?

No two men desire and want the exact same thing out of their eye candy, or the woman by their side. Each man is different. Only your man can tell you what he prefers.

alwayskk
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:39 PM

I dunno, I think it's the latter.

MrsRinehart2010
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:42 PM

 Ive asked my husband the same thing. He says it just for fun an its just fantasey doesnt neccaseraly mean its something he wants in real life it that makes any sense . All I knw is regardless of what he looks at he loves me  an loves the way I look.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:42 PM

I guess the only thing that throws me off, because I do the same thing and I don't mind, is the fact that he only looks at a certain type.  Like the second I see a woman I know if he is going to take a second look.  So it is just confusing to me....I am just going off of what he says as in he doesn't want me changing anything but I guess it's just a slight insecurity that has developed.  


When I look at a guy or girl who is good looking there is no one type.  I might want to get a second look at beautiful eyes, or  a nice face structure, maybe their skin tone is a beautiful color, but I don't have a particular person I look at. 

Quoting spicy_n_sweet:

What's the difference in you appreciating eye candy for the mere fact that they are just eye candy and him doing the same?  

Why does there have to be some hidden desire, hidden meaning, something he prefers or something he wishes you looked like/did for yourself? Why can't he just look for the sake of looking?

No two men desire and want the exact same thing out of their eye candy, or the woman by their side. Each man is different. Only your man can tell you what he prefers.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:43 PM
I haven't any advice for you since I feel that that kind of behavior is disrespectful. I won't be with someone that feels the need to look at other women. To me, that tells me that he's still looking for someone better to come along because he's apparently not happy with what he has. GL.
StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Its natural for men to look at other women. I know my husband does.

Sorry Cant tell me that you dont
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ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:45 PM

You can appreciate beauty anywhere.  It doesn't mean you want to live with it.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:45 PM

I do the same thing so I don't look into it to that extreme. But I know women who don't want their SO doing that, and that's fine for some people, but I figure if I do it, I am not going to stop him.

Quoting Anonymous:

I haven't any advice for you since I feel that that kind of behavior is disrespectful. I won't be with someone that feels the need to look at other women. To me, that tells me that he's still looking for someone better to come along because he's apparently not happy with what he has. GL.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM

No I certainly do look around, trust me I appreciate beauty anywhere for sure.

I just noticed a type he looked at and I may be over analyzing it like I do everything but... perfect for cafemom to help me.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

Its natural for men to look at other women. I know my husband does.

Sorry Cant tell me that you dont


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:47 PM

I've never dated a man that a. was such an amateur as to get caught looking and b. if I did catch them looking, it was never someone the complete opposite of me.

I don't find looking strange, just that he seems attracted to the opposite of what you say you are.

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