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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I want to get over it, but idk how :-(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I am 22 years old, my dad has been in and out of my life. Even though he has not been there for me, his my dad and I love him more than anything. Thing is that when we get into an argument (like 2 days ago) I get depressed like when I was a kid, I feel like I start re-living my childhood all over again. Like when I cried out for my dad and he wasn't there :-(

I am tires of feeling like he is everything to me and then all of a sudden he turns his back on me. I feel lost when he gets mad when I speak my mind about how much he has hurt. All he can say is ' you can't judge me because im your dad', he has not once said sorry for leaving me all the time. It hurts a lot, and the worst part is I am alone nobody understands why I am like this. I don't even know why I feel this way, because I shouldn't I am not a child anymore.

Anyone gone through the same thing? Any advice?

Fyi: I have gone through therapy/counseling and it has never worked for me.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:21 PM
*tired
Elayna90
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:21 PM
I haven't gone through the exact same thing but something similar. I had to just completely cut my dad out because I couldn't handle what it was doing to me emotionally.
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notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:22 PM
Therapy.

My dad means nothing to me. Sitting around moping about him and hue problems would be stupid on my part.
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ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:23 PM

You have to remember that fathers are not perfect.  They are humans who make mistakes and are sometimes really crappy at relationships.

I think you set yourself up for failure when you try to make him into some kind of Norman Rockwell image you have in your head of what a dad is supposed to be. 

He will never be Andy Griffith and you will never be Opie.  

And that's okay.


Do what works for you.  You're not broken. Someone else's actions don't define you. Ever.

Now take that back to counseling and make it work for you. 

Redwoods_Mama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Honest truth is that sometimes parents do not love their children.  This is NO FAULT of the child, the parent is fundamentally broken.

My father does not love me.  That is very freeing, for me.  Does it hurt, yes, but I will not expect him to behave as a healthy, caring parent when in reality he is toxic.  That would be like asking my dog to meow.  Not gonna happen.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:38 PM
I wish it was thay easy, I dont want him to be perfect. All I want is for him to admit that he has done wrong by leaving me to be with his other kids, when he pushedme aside to be with them. But all he does is blame me, says I am a bad daughter when ive never done anything but love and care about him.


Quoting ErikaRobin:

You have to remember that fathers are not perfect.  They are humans who make mistakes and are sometimes really crappy at relationships.

I think you set yourself up for failure when you try to make him into some kind of Norman Rockwell image you have in your head of what a dad is supposed to be. 

He will never be Andy Griffith and you will never be Opie.  

And that's okay.


Do what works for you.  You're not broken. Someone else's actions don't define you. Ever.

Now take that back to counseling and make it work for you. 


ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:39 PM

What will you gain if he admits that?


What will you lose if he never does?

Quoting Anonymous:

I wish it was thay easy, I dont want him to be perfect. All I want is for him to admit that he has done wrong by leaving me to be with his other kids, when he pushedme aside to be with them. But all he does is blame me, says I am a bad daughter when ive never done anything but love and care about him.


Quoting ErikaRobin:

You have to remember that fathers are not perfect.  They are humans who make mistakes and are sometimes really crappy at relationships.

I think you set yourself up for failure when you try to make him into some kind of Norman Rockwell image you have in your head of what a dad is supposed to be. 

He will never be Andy Griffith and you will never be Opie.  

And that's okay.


Do what works for you.  You're not broken. Someone else's actions don't define you. Ever.

Now take that back to counseling and make it work for you. 



Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to Google myself.


If you like my style, follow my blog.  I am Random Ninja - Writer of Wrongs.
Click it.  Share it.  (Tell 'em it's just a cold sore.)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:44 PM
I feel like this will help me get over all the hurt that he has caused, I don't want to end up hating him. I want to feel like I am not the one who messed up for loving her dad so much, and that is why he doesn't care about me like he cares for the others.


Quoting ErikaRobin:

What will you gain if he admits that?


What will you lose if he never does?

Quoting Anonymous:

I wish it was thay easy, I dont want him to be perfect. All I want is for him to admit that he has done wrong by leaving me to be with his other kids, when he pushedme aside to be with them. But all he does is blame me, says I am a bad daughter when ive never done anything but love and care about him.





Quoting ErikaRobin:

You have to remember that fathers are not perfect.  They are humans who make mistakes and are sometimes really crappy at relationships.

I think you set yourself up for failure when you try to make him into some kind of Norman Rockwell image you have in your head of what a dad is supposed to be. 

He will never be Andy Griffith and you will never be Opie.  

And that's okay.


Do what works for you.  You're not broken. Someone else's actions don't define you. Ever.

Now take that back to counseling and make it work for you. 





ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM

If he died tomorrow, would you feel like your life was wasted on loving him?

Quoting Anonymous:

I feel like this will help me get over all the hurt that he has caused, I don't want to end up hating him. I want to feel like I am not the one who messed up for loving her dad so much, and that is why he doesn't care about me like he cares for the others.


Quoting ErikaRobin:

What will you gain if he admits that?


What will you lose if he never does?

Quoting Anonymous:

I wish it was thay easy, I dont want him to be perfect. All I want is for him to admit that he has done wrong by leaving me to be with his other kids, when he pushedme aside to be with them. But all he does is blame me, says I am a bad daughter when ive never done anything but love and care about him.





Quoting ErikaRobin:

You have to remember that fathers are not perfect.  They are humans who make mistakes and are sometimes really crappy at relationships.

I think you set yourself up for failure when you try to make him into some kind of Norman Rockwell image you have in your head of what a dad is supposed to be. 

He will never be Andy Griffith and you will never be Opie.  

And that's okay.


Do what works for you.  You're not broken. Someone else's actions don't define you. Ever.

Now take that back to counseling and make it work for you. 






Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to Google myself.


If you like my style, follow my blog.  I am Random Ninja - Writer of Wrongs.
Click it.  Share it.  (Tell 'em it's just a cold sore.)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:51 PM
No idea. I never understood the "unconditional love" thing, considering I absolutely loathe my mother. So here's a bump for you.
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