Visitation my @**.... he's an adult ******EDITED for you Nice Ladies******
My 20 yr old son still lives at home. He has had no luck getting a job since he graduated HS over a yr ago. In his defence he has a learning disability and is working with a rehab program to "help" him find a job in his interest area. So far not much has happened or worked with that. Another wasted state program I guess. My son has also been working with Doctors to diagnose some mysterious pain issues and in so doing they found he was developing a cancerous condition. He's had surgery in May and is doing well but will need repeated diagnostic testing for the rest of his life to further prevent cancer. What does this all have to do with visitation? Well back in June my son's child support was discontinued and his medical insurance ends in a few months. My current DH has picked up the tab of supporting my son and his medical insurance has been treating him as the primary insurer since before the cancer was found. My divorce decree said I was to not to interfere with visitation and I haven't .... till now. I'll be darned if drive my son to the airport to visit his useless Dad who is no longer supporting him. If he wants his son to visit him he'll have to prepay for the cab ride.... the @ss.
**EDIT** I don't expect everyone to agree with what I'm doing, that would be an impossible feat. I was merely venting because I'm tired of being the one who does everything and when support stopped I'm expected to continue. I'm tired and I've had enough. My son's Dad needs to grow up and do what ever he needs to do to see his son. In case some of you have not been following all the replies I have spent the last year and a half learning about my son's diagnosis. It's CANCER by the way not depression. I have sat along my son at every Dr appointment not because I wanted to treat him like a child but because I knew my son wasn't "understanding" everything the Dr's were telling him. Our first Dr was his general Dr, then we went to GI's, Cardiologists, Neurologists, and Psychologists all to find a cause to a mysterious pain that resembled a massive heart attack and would drop him to the ground on a DAILY basis for over a year. My son has had Blood work, Ultrasounds, Endoscopys, Colonoscopies, MRI's, Cat scans and many more tests that I can't remember anymore. There has been no cause for the pains found. Did his Dad visit him once during any of this?? NO. Did he call more often when he learned his son was sick?? NO. My son has had an organ removed to prevent cancer. The only reason his Dad saw him in the hospital is because he "happened" to be "on vacation" within driving distance and thought he might not ever see his son again, alive. Big sacrifice for Dad to take two whole mornings out of his vacation to see his son... WOW, guess I should be impressed by that. My son is not CURED either. The only prevention for this cancer is to remove more organs, which is very likely down the road but the Dr's don't want to talk about that.. right now.. My son will require yearly medical tests to keep an eye on what his disease is doing and my ex doesn't have to do a thing. Yeah, that ticks me off because it sure would be nice to have a vacation and not worry about anything for a change. If I had a plethora of money I would send my son in a cab myself but I don't. It hurt to lose 6k a year of cs. I drive 5 hours each way and spend $140 on gas, $50 on parking in a month taking my son 3 states away for medical treatment for a rare cancer. Thankfully I can stay at my folks house only another an hour away the wrong direction from the hospital where my son goes but at least I don't have to pay $300 a night in NYC for a hotel room. I AM doing the best and getting the BEST care for our son... but I can't do it forever. I won't let my DH lose the house because my ex is a cheap lazy @hole. My (YES VERY WONDERFUL) DH has medical coverage on my son that has allowed us to get the best care for him but he has also used up ALL his vacation days AND sicks days this year so that I didn't have to take our 4 yr old twins to every appointment in the city. Now my DH will have to take unpaid days off to help. That's gonna hurt us unless we get more help and guess who should be doing that REGUARDLESS of the court order saying he has fulfilled his obligations as a Father. Puke. How is it MY obligation is endless?
So yes ladies, it pisses me off to no end that people are judging me for not wanting to go "out of my way" for my EX when all he needs to do is send our son a little money for a cab and luggage fees.