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Visitation my @**.... he's an adult ******EDITED for you Nice Ladies******

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:25 AM
  • 144 Replies
1 mom liked this

My 20 yr old son still lives at home.  He has had no luck getting a job since he graduated HS over a yr ago.  In his defence he has a learning disability and is working with a rehab program to "help" him find a job in his interest area.  So far not much has happened or worked with that.  Another wasted state program I guess. My son has also been working with Doctors to diagnose some mysterious pain issues and in so doing they found he was developing a cancerous condition. He's had surgery in May and is doing well but will need repeated diagnostic testing for the rest of his life to further prevent cancer.  What does this all have to do with visitation?  Well back in June my son's child support was discontinued and his medical insurance ends in a few months.  My current DH has picked up the tab of supporting my son and his medical insurance has been treating him as the primary insurer since before the cancer was found.  My divorce decree said I was to not to interfere with visitation and I haven't .... till now.  I'll be darned if drive my son to the airport to visit his useless Dad who is no longer supporting him.  If he wants his son to visit him he'll have to prepay for the cab ride.... the @ss.

**EDIT**  I don't expect everyone to agree with what I'm doing, that would be an impossible feat.  I was merely venting because I'm tired of being the one who does everything and when support stopped I'm expected to continue.  I'm tired and I've had enough.  My son's Dad needs to grow up and do what ever he needs to do to see his son.  In case some of you have not been following all the replies I have spent the last year and a half learning about my son's diagnosis.  It's CANCER by the way not depression.  I have sat along my son at every Dr appointment not because I wanted to treat him like a child but because I knew my son wasn't "understanding" everything the Dr's were telling him.  Our first Dr was his general Dr, then we went to GI's, Cardiologists, Neurologists, and Psychologists all to find a cause to a mysterious pain that resembled a massive heart attack and would drop him to the ground on a DAILY basis for over a year.   My son has had Blood work, Ultrasounds, Endoscopys, Colonoscopies, MRI's, Cat scans and many more tests that I can't remember anymore.  There has been no cause for the pains found.  Did his Dad visit him once during any of this?? NO.  Did he call more often when he learned his son was sick?? NO.  My son has had an organ removed to prevent cancer.  The only reason his Dad saw him in the hospital is because he "happened" to be "on vacation" within driving distance and thought he might not ever see his son again, alive.  Big sacrifice for Dad to take two whole mornings out of his vacation to see his son... WOW, guess I should be impressed by that.  My son is not CURED either.  The only prevention for this cancer is to remove more organs, which is very likely down the road but the Dr's don't want to talk about that.. right now..  My son will require yearly medical tests to keep an eye on what his disease is doing and my ex doesn't have to do a thing.  Yeah, that ticks me off because it sure would be nice to have a vacation and not worry about anything for a change.  If I had a plethora of money I would send my son in a cab myself but I don't.  It hurt to lose 6k a year of cs.  I drive 5 hours each way and spend $140 on gas, $50 on parking in a month taking my son 3 states away for medical treatment for a rare cancer. Thankfully I can stay at my folks house only another an hour away the wrong direction from the hospital where my son goes but at least I don't have to pay $300 a night in NYC for a hotel room.  I AM doing the best and getting the BEST care for our son... but I can't do it forever.  I won't let my DH lose the house because my ex is a cheap lazy @hole. My (YES VERY WONDERFUL) DH has medical coverage on my son that has allowed us to get the best care for him but he has also used up ALL his vacation days AND sicks days this year so that I didn't have to take our 4 yr old twins to every appointment in the city.  Now my DH will have to take unpaid days off to help.  That's gonna hurt us unless we get more help and guess who should be doing that REGUARDLESS of the court order saying he has fulfilled his obligations as a Father. Puke.  How is it MY obligation is endless?

So yes ladies, it pisses me off to no end that people are judging me for not wanting to go "out of my way" for my EX when all he needs to do is send our son a little money for a cab and luggage fees. 

 

----- Visit my CafeMom homepage at http://www.cafemom.com/home/ohmybaby
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:31 AM
3 moms liked this
....

Your son is mentally disabled to the point he can't obtain employment, but you expect him to navigate through an airport alone? Because your son aged out of child support?

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_WC_Mama
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:32 AM

This

.......

Quoting Litlmama87:

....

Your son is mentally disabled to the point he can't obtain employment, but you expect him to navigate through an airport alone? Because your son aged out of child support?


melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:33 AM

How far away is the airport?

ohmybaby
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:34 AM

MY son has navigated the airport before.  He has ADHD and a processing disorder... but he can manage.  My point is I'm not assisting visitations anymore because like you said my son has aged out.  That means I don't have to help him anymore than he's helping me.


 

Quoting Litlmama87:

....

Your son is mentally disabled to the point he can't obtain employment, but you expect him to navigate through an airport alone? Because your son aged out of child support?


ohmybaby
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:35 AM

It's and hour and a half away and I have twins that I have to drag with me each time.  But I'm done with that.


 

Quoting melakay1981:

How far away is the airport?


LiliM
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:40 AM
4 moms liked this

Wow.  Ok. 

Fuck over your kid because you are pissed about your ex.

AWEsome.


ohmybaby
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:42 AM

No.  I told my son to tell his Dad that he needed to pay for the cab because he didn;t have a ride to the airport.  I didn't say my son couldn't go.  I said I couldn't help with the drive.

Quoting LiliM:

Wow.  Ok. 

Fuck over your kid because you are pissed about your ex.

AWEsome.


LiliM
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting ohmybaby:

No.  I told my son to tell his Dad that he needed to pay for the cab because he didn;t have a ride to the airport.  I didn't say my son couldn't go.  I said I couldn't help with the drive.

Quoting LiliM:

Wow.  Ok. 

Fuck over your kid because you are pissed about your ex.

AWEsome.


Yes.

"Your dad pays or I don't help".

That's fucking over your kid because you're mad at dad.



thehickinhickor
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:46 AM
The ex and you need to come up with a new schedule and how it would work but child support as nothing to do with him seeing his son. Dose he need todo more sure but by law he is done his part sad but true.
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emandab
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:49 AM

There are so many things I have questions about but I have to be up so I'm going to quit before I start lol.

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