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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My very unpopular opinion **eta

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I know that hardly anyone agrees with me on this and I understand perfectly well why that is. Expensive requests on Angel Trees: I'm ok with it.







It's rude and inappropriate to ask strangers for electronics, it really is. However, I can't really fault a child for it. Some kids don't understand how much a DS really costs. All they know is that the other kids their age have them and they're cool. Mom and dad might even know how tacky it is to ask for one, but they also know they'll never be able to buy it. They might think, heck, this is the one time of year that someone could possibly be generous enough to buy their child what they're wishing for. I think when you ask for charity, you take what you get, but what's the harm in trying?







The only actual harm I see is that a child that otherwise wouldn't get a Christmas is now being skipped over because someone thinks a dirt poor 6 year old has entitlement issues. I'm sure some do, but I'm betting most just don't know what they're asking for is too much.







I completely get why no one wants to buy a Wii or an Xbox, but could we maybe look past that and get the kid something else on their list? Does he/she now deserve a gift any less because they had the audacity to hope they might get what they really want one time this year?






**I tried to read all the replies, but it got a little hard to keep up. I'm definitely not saying everyone should go out and buy big, expensive items. There are usually more things on their list than just a DS or iPod. I just mean, try to look at their WHOLE list and see if there's something you can afford. It seems like from what I've seen on here so far, people see an expensive item and automatically put that tag back.

And, it's also fine to look for things you can afford. No matter what you can afford, it's a blessing to someone.

***edit again. I think some people aren't reading past the first couple sentences. In a normal situation, I think it's rude to EXPECT electronics and high dollar toys from strangers. Those would be the snotty parents raising entitled kids. I DON'T think it's bad for a kid to have a Christmas wishlist. Being poor doesn't mean a child should have to ask for socks, they have as much right to want cool gifts just as much as a rich kid.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Replies (61-70):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:26 AM
4 moms liked this

I agree with you. If you don't want to buy the needy kid an Xbox, move on. It doesn't mean the kid is entitled or a snotty little shit, he was asked what he wants, and he answered. Why is it okay for a kid who has middle class parents to ask Santa for an XBox and no one blinks an eye, but if a poor kid asks Santa, well he must be a greedy? Even if it is a teenager, maybe the kid thought his/her wish for the toy all the kids have a school and he sees on tv everyday will come true? Also, not every poor person is going to go pawn the Christmas gifts, true it may happen, but for many, the person is just down on their luck and wants his/her kid to have a nice Christmas.

At my old job, we sponsored a family every Christmas. The first few years, we hooked the family up and probably spent close to 300 on each kid on wants and needs. The charity put a limit on how much we could donate to 50 dollars a kid because sometimes the families would be split between two companies, one kid would have 300 dollars worth of stuff and the other kid only had a hot wheels car. I didn't blink twice when the kid asked for a bike. We bought the kid a 50 dollar bike, and clothes and shoes to go with. I work with kids living in poverty everyday, they watch TV, they know what the cool toys are, they have wants too. I have to say, as a parent, I would encourage my child to ask for an inexpensive gift to insure he/she gets something if we had to participate in Angel Tree.

One of my students told me that he was going to ask for a laptop for Christmas. The poor kid doesn't even have a decent pair of shoes. When I asked him why, he said "Because, I want to be able to practice the learning programs at home, so I can make better grades and go to tumble books because I don't have any books at home and my mom doesn't have a car to take me to the library." (run-on sentence) The kid is 7, he doesn't know you have to pay for Internet to make the computer work. I donate gifts for the children, not for the parents, I want every child to be excited on Christmas morning (if they celebrate it) and get at least one frivolous thing!

JoyfulinSD
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Books, my son has read over 5000.  He's 16. They can ask for clothes, jackets, a membership to the YMCA, shoes, just about anything.  That's the problem, everyone has gotten into a "We must have a t.v, and a playstation and a gameboy and a bluray.  My God, don't make us actually sit and talk to eachother or play a card or board game.  Yes, we do all of this and we have a great relationship with our kid.  I heard a few of his friends tell him how lucky he was that his parents talk to him and others that say that they like to come over because we treat them like people.  That's heartbreaking to hear.

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:29 AM

the parents fill those cards out, I am sure most of those that get wiis, xboxes and electronics take them to the pawn shop on the 26th

mamatocaleb
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:29 AM

 There is also toys for tots! Most stores will match your donation!  :)

Love060708kids
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:29 AM

I agree with you, OP.

jadedcynic
by Nerdalicious on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:30 AM

My kids were on Angel Tree one year and I listed cheap, inexpensive things. When I went to pick up the presents, I noticed that the requests had been changed by SA workers to more expensive items. My kids still got the items they requested, but the other items added were "redistributed" to the warehouse.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:31 AM

My Aunt would just take them to a pawn shop.   No hassle, no questions.  It's just sad.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Around here they scribble over the bar code so that the items cannot be returned and so that if a parent tries to return an item that was bought for the program, the cashier knows not to return it. I was going through a rough time and someone randomly stopped by my apartment and dropped off an entire box filled with presents wrapped in Dora paper for my little girl. Someone I hardly knew had signed me up. Well, come Christmas morning I noticed all the barcodes were scribbled on with a Sharpie. My mom works at Walmart and I happened to mention it to her and she explained to me why they do that. I was shocked. I couldn't believe anyone would actually try to return the toys for money. How awful. :(

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you.  The problem is not the kids.  Having experience with this in my own family the problem is you buy the kid the DS and then the parents pawn or sell it.  I'm sure not all do but after witnessing it all first hand it's hard to get past that.   I help people I personally know in our community or thru organizations I belong to.  No Angel trees for me.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:34 AM
I understand what you are saying but growing up we didn't get the electronics. My son won't get them unless its from family. We think that simple toys are the best toys.
SugarbearNHoney
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:37 AM

Well, i understand that the kids aren't fully aware of the prices but i fault the parent for not encouraging their child to request something reasonable. Whatever happened to asking for footballs, bikes, dolls or kitchen sets? If your 8 year old requests at $400 video game system, odds are he's not going to get it. Being financially limited is already a disappointment within itself, especially for a child during the Christmas holiday. Parents shouldnt encourage their to set themselves up for disappointments of that magnitude.

EmmaGlenn20
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:37 AM

"Some kids don't understand how much a DS really costs. All they know is that the other kids their age have them and they're cool."

Agreed.

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