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My very unpopular opinion **eta

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I know that hardly anyone agrees with me on this and I understand perfectly well why that is. Expensive requests on Angel Trees: I'm ok with it.

It's rude and inappropriate to ask strangers for electronics, it really is. However, I can't really fault a child for it. Some kids don't understand how much a DS really costs. All they know is that the other kids their age have them and they're cool. Mom and dad might even know how tacky it is to ask for one, but they also know they'll never be able to buy it. They might think, heck, this is the one time of year that someone could possibly be generous enough to buy their child what they're wishing for. I think when you ask for charity, you take what you get, but what's the harm in trying?

The only actual harm I see is that a child that otherwise wouldn't get a Christmas is now being skipped over because someone thinks a dirt poor 6 year old has entitlement issues. I'm sure some do, but I'm betting most just don't know what they're asking for is too much.

I completely get why no one wants to buy a Wii or an Xbox, but could we maybe look past that and get the kid something else on their list? Does he/she now deserve a gift any less because they had the audacity to hope they might get what they really want one time this year?

**I tried to read all the replies, but it got a little hard to keep up. I'm definitely not saying everyone should go out and buy big, expensive items. There are usually more things on their list than just a DS or iPod. I just mean, try to look at their WHOLE list and see if there's something you can afford. It seems like from what I've seen on here so far, people see an expensive item and automatically put that tag back.

And, it's also fine to look for things you can afford. No matter what you can afford, it's a blessing to someone.

***edit again. I think some people aren't reading past the first couple sentences. In a normal situation, I think it's rude to EXPECT electronics and high dollar toys from strangers. Those would be the snotty parents raising entitled kids. I DON'T think it's bad for a kid to have a Christmas wishlist. Being poor doesn't mean a child should have to ask for socks, they have as much right to want cool gifts just as much as a rich kid.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Replies (491-500):
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:47 AM

i agree...every year each dept at my job gets a family and we get the wish lists from everyone in the family. the kids always ask for expensive electronics (but i can't blame them they're only kids) but what kills me is the parents do it.  last year the dad wanted to mac book and the mom wanted a keurig coffee maker. then for the kids they 

my thought was...if you're so poor how are you going to buy the k cups for it?

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:03 AM

I believe it's ok for the kids to ask for whatever they want too. Most of the kids don't even know they are on a charity wish list. My kids one year were on one and all they did was write out their wishes for Santa. All kids in different age groups want the same things as their friends. The year my kids were on it my daughter recieved a game system that was used and she was on cloud 9. Apparently the person who got her had a kid who wanted to get rid of their old system. So since then that's what we have done. Just an idea for those of you out their that is doing the angel tree or whatever. Oh and to the people who think that the parents are just asking for it to pawn or sell it that is totally unfair. I know from being a parent with kids on a wish tree that it hurts us so bad that we are unable to get our kids gifts and we are blessed that their our people out there that will help!!!! So please stop and think if for some reason you were having a bad year and you needed help for your kids would you want someone to think of you that bad??

by Anonymous 68 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
My family has adopted a family for Christmas every year for as long as I can remember. When I married we started adopting our own family. When I see that the child has requested a game system I usually will buy a used one from game stop or amazon with a warranty. They are still in great condition and what the child has asked for. This year the 6 year old on the list asked for a ds I went to game stop and bought the dsi for $59 with a 1 year warrenty and some used games for $8 a piece. It's still in great condition. Just because the family is poor doesn't mean that the child wants are any different from any other kid.
by Anonymous 69 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:08 AM

It is rude for kids to expect a complete stranger to provide those kinds of gifts for them They should be taught better by their parents with that being said I totally agree some of what is on those trees probably come from the parents. While I agree that kids can have a wishlist that isn't a practical wish list for someone in their position.

They have every right to want those things but to exocect them they shouldn't be disappointed when they don't get them I have my child write out a wish list every year but that doesn't mena she's going to get everything on it. That's what it is a wish list. If you only knew the people behind those kids and what all they get in FS , medicare, what kinds of cars they drive etc people might not want to buy that kid something. JMO!

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:51 AM

I think you've made a fair point here that got me thinking, so next time I see one of those I will look past the material to the child.

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I know two single moms who always sign up for angel trees. Both have jobs, yet recieve welfare, food stamps and free daycare because they each have three kids. Both women - while on welfare - qualified for student loans for college; neither graduated, and now have huge debts. Both have smartphones, satellite tv, and computers. They always have money to get their hair and nails done, buy cigarettes and go barhopping. Both sometimes skip paying bills (rent, utilities) so they can spend it on something nonessential, like a roadtrip to Florida. After that Florida trip, one mom and her kids lived in a cold, dark apartment for three months until she finally paid the electric bill. Both manage to get huge tax refunds each year, and go on vacations. At Christmas, both moms buy their kids many gifts, and receive many more from those angel trees. Both women mostly neglect their children. They severely lack parenting skills. Both desperately need to be taught financal responsibility, as they now spend every dollar like a kid who's just been handed a hundred bucks in a toy store. One of them is my cousin. After my daughter was born, she told me to sign up for welfare because "it's free money."  I know these women do not represent every person on welfare. However, I also know there are many more people just like them. My verdict: Short-term welfare can be a lifesaver; long-term welfare creates a childlike dependence. I used to look forward to helping those needy "tree" kids every year, but have not participated since learning the sordid details of Carrie and Michelle, the women of whom I've written.

by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:55 AM

At our church we do an Angel Tree every year. Most are for Target or Walmart etc. gift cards. Some are for bicycles etc that are a little larger. Some famlies can afford to buy those, some people do it with another family so they can both afford to buy that child a bicycle.When one of the church groups I belong to selects 2 50 dollar gifts cards, one for a girl, one for a boy, we don't specify what they buy. If the parent wants to buy food, sock etc. great but if they want to use it for something fun for the child that is wonderful too. There are other organizations that help with food and clothing etc during the holidays. Maybe the Angel tree gift will help make their Christmas a little merrier no matter what they buy with it.

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:21 PM
I know right. My DS loves his Scout too. So does his little brother and sister. I hit ebay for my twins scout and violet and got them basically 2 for the price of 1. I don't know if I'll have to heart to give away DS1's Scout when he turns 3.

Quoting Mrs.Bryant1201:

That sucks! My son loves his scout. Its one of his favorites since LAST christmas!

Quoting malexander2009:

 Hey out here parents are limited to 3 gifts on top of clothing and you cannot add any type of electronics. Like the Scout and Violet by Leapfrog are "techy" for Angel Tree out here. This is scout and violet these cannot be added to angel tree.

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by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:34 PM

We've never been ON an Angel Tree, but we have had assistance.  My kids have TVs, computer and electronics, most of which is bought with tax refund money so  I do not see why it is so wrong for a child to ask for electronics. 

The Angel Tree is basically like putting a kid on Santa's lap - they are going to ask for whatever it is they WANT.  Kids are not going to think "realistically what will people be able to afford to buy me", they are thinking they are asking Santa or God for what they want (until they reach the age when  they understand where the gifts are coming from)

Of course, most of us on average incomes are not going to buy the electronic stuff simply because it is outside of our budgets, but we should not look down upon the kids for asking for them. 

by Anonymous 70 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I read your point of view, and respect that you have the right to your opinion.  I must question, however, how many of the kids who ask for the pricey toys really have NO clue what they are asking for?  I think very few - most kindergarteners know the deal with the toys (my experience with kids my sons go to school with).  Younger than that, I doubt they are able to write for themselves, so if really young kids are asking for such things, then it's done by a parent or at least someone old enough to have a clue.  I just can't believe there are that many kids who ask for such things without realizing the cost - if even in a general sense of it's not  the same as asking for a pair of socks!  So, we get to the entitlement arguement - and yes, I think this IS the case with too many people in this country (of ALL ages).   I see people who expect "things" and if they don't have them, then the government is supposed to provide them.   Americans are turning into a bunch of selfish whiners.  No one is ever told that they need to work to earn that which you need or want; that earning your keep is a value to admire and should be the goal of every able-bodied person.  This is going to ruin our society, and those of the "greatest generation" are rapidly departing, leaving a greater and greater concentration of those who feel entitled to things - whether they lift a finger to work for them or not.   Well, fine for them and those who could defend this - and Good Luck with that.   This is NOT how I am raising my children and I hope they will find a country that has a shred of decency and values left.  If not, then you who feel stuff like this is OK, you will get what you deserve.  As for me, I'm out of here!

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