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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My very unpopular opinion **eta

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I know that hardly anyone agrees with me on this and I understand perfectly well why that is. Expensive requests on Angel Trees: I'm ok with it.







It's rude and inappropriate to ask strangers for electronics, it really is. However, I can't really fault a child for it. Some kids don't understand how much a DS really costs. All they know is that the other kids their age have them and they're cool. Mom and dad might even know how tacky it is to ask for one, but they also know they'll never be able to buy it. They might think, heck, this is the one time of year that someone could possibly be generous enough to buy their child what they're wishing for. I think when you ask for charity, you take what you get, but what's the harm in trying?







The only actual harm I see is that a child that otherwise wouldn't get a Christmas is now being skipped over because someone thinks a dirt poor 6 year old has entitlement issues. I'm sure some do, but I'm betting most just don't know what they're asking for is too much.







I completely get why no one wants to buy a Wii or an Xbox, but could we maybe look past that and get the kid something else on their list? Does he/she now deserve a gift any less because they had the audacity to hope they might get what they really want one time this year?






**I tried to read all the replies, but it got a little hard to keep up. I'm definitely not saying everyone should go out and buy big, expensive items. There are usually more things on their list than just a DS or iPod. I just mean, try to look at their WHOLE list and see if there's something you can afford. It seems like from what I've seen on here so far, people see an expensive item and automatically put that tag back.

And, it's also fine to look for things you can afford. No matter what you can afford, it's a blessing to someone.

***edit again. I think some people aren't reading past the first couple sentences. In a normal situation, I think it's rude to EXPECT electronics and high dollar toys from strangers. Those would be the snotty parents raising entitled kids. I DON'T think it's bad for a kid to have a Christmas wishlist. Being poor doesn't mean a child should have to ask for socks, they have as much right to want cool gifts just as much as a rich kid.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Replies (51-60):
mamatocaleb
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:20 AM

 We have 2 trees that go up in our town, one through the county and one through a church. Last year there were over 500 people that were on that tree. We live in a SMALL town. Both trees allow even adults to put their wish list up. Our tree's were rediculous you couldn't even get past the hollister clothes, wii's, x-boxs to find a "needy" child. Yes, there were lots of adults asking for these things. it makes a lot of people bitter about the tree :(

I'm not sponsoring a child but I did buy an aquaintance, hand made doll cribs for her daughters.

mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:20 AM

great job!  You described my thoughts on this topic exactly!

ZsMommy
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:20 AM

We purchase gifts for those on our angel trees at Church (it's not just our church members-they help with low income househousehold s who are non members) but I admit-I kinda scour through the lists to find the "realistic" tags-ones we can afford. Last year we filled 4 requests (2 boys...2 girls). I admit if I'm not shelling out big $ for my own family I tend to overlook the big ticket requests. I'd rather take care of multi kids with what I can afford than one child with something a bit over and above our budget.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:21 AM
We are not even purchasing for the Angel Tree this year, I am tore of the ridiculous request.
LovelyMommy24
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:22 AM

I hadn't thought about it like that. Thank you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:25 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you.  The problem is not the kids.  Having experience with this in my own family the problem is you buy the kid the DS and then the parents pawn or sell it.  I'm sure not all do but after witnessing it all first hand it's hard to get past that.   I help people I personally know in our community or thru organizations I belong to.  No Angel trees for me.


I never thought of parents pawning these expensive Christmas gifts, but I'll bet you're 100% correct.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Around here they scribble over the bar code so that the items cannot be returned and so that if a parent tries to return an item that was bought for the program, the cashier knows not to return it. I was going through a rough time and someone randomly stopped by my apartment and dropped off an entire box filled with presents wrapped in Dora paper for my little girl. Someone I hardly knew had signed me up. Well, come Christmas morning I noticed all the barcodes were scribbled on with a Sharpie. My mom works at Walmart and I happened to mention it to her and she explained to me why they do that. I was shocked. I couldn't believe anyone would actually try to return the toys for money. How awful. :(

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you.  The problem is not the kids.  Having experience with this in my own family the problem is you buy the kid the DS and then the parents pawn or sell it.  I'm sure not all do but after witnessing it all first hand it's hard to get past that.   I help people I personally know in our community or thru organizations I belong to.  No Angel trees for me.

Kitschy
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:26 AM
2 moms liked this
When someone like me picks someone from the tree we want to make a difference for someone with the little money we have. If someone has that's stuff on their list I don't avoid them because I think they have entitlement issues. I avoid them thinking that someone who has more to give may fulfill their wish.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:26 AM

I feel that if I can't afford to get it for my own kids...or my kids didn't work hard enough to "earn" something of that value, I sure as shi$ am NOT going to buy it for someone else's child, no matter the circumstance.

 

puasaurusrex
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:26 AM

I don't mind when children request expensive items at all. My issue is when the parents do it for themselves. And yes, this does happen. My parents adopt an entire family, usually low-income, low-ranking enlisted military (my father is a retired Marine Col), every year for Christmas through my father's office. And every year, under the "suggested gifts for dad" section it lists a game system and games not intended for the young children. Usually an Xbox 360 with Call of Duty games or other "mature" rated games. That bothers me. My parents never give them such items, usually opting to give dad a Target, Walmart or Best Buy gift card.


ETA: The "suggested gifts for (child gender and age)" sections usually consist of clothes and sizes rather than toys. Which isn't an issue, but it's frustrating to my parents who don't want to gift children with only clothes while mom and dad are requesting game systems and purses for themselves.

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