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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My very unpopular opinion **eta

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I know that hardly anyone agrees with me on this and I understand perfectly well why that is. Expensive requests on Angel Trees: I'm ok with it.







It's rude and inappropriate to ask strangers for electronics, it really is. However, I can't really fault a child for it. Some kids don't understand how much a DS really costs. All they know is that the other kids their age have them and they're cool. Mom and dad might even know how tacky it is to ask for one, but they also know they'll never be able to buy it. They might think, heck, this is the one time of year that someone could possibly be generous enough to buy their child what they're wishing for. I think when you ask for charity, you take what you get, but what's the harm in trying?







The only actual harm I see is that a child that otherwise wouldn't get a Christmas is now being skipped over because someone thinks a dirt poor 6 year old has entitlement issues. I'm sure some do, but I'm betting most just don't know what they're asking for is too much.







I completely get why no one wants to buy a Wii or an Xbox, but could we maybe look past that and get the kid something else on their list? Does he/she now deserve a gift any less because they had the audacity to hope they might get what they really want one time this year?






**I tried to read all the replies, but it got a little hard to keep up. I'm definitely not saying everyone should go out and buy big, expensive items. There are usually more things on their list than just a DS or iPod. I just mean, try to look at their WHOLE list and see if there's something you can afford. It seems like from what I've seen on here so far, people see an expensive item and automatically put that tag back.

And, it's also fine to look for things you can afford. No matter what you can afford, it's a blessing to someone.

***edit again. I think some people aren't reading past the first couple sentences. In a normal situation, I think it's rude to EXPECT electronics and high dollar toys from strangers. Those would be the snotty parents raising entitled kids. I DON'T think it's bad for a kid to have a Christmas wishlist. Being poor doesn't mean a child should have to ask for socks, they have as much right to want cool gifts just as much as a rich kid.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Replies (511-520):
sakpoints
by Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:29 PM

 I agree with the over all sentiment of your post, but I was a little shocked when I saw an ornament at work one year where the Teen asked for clothes and actually wrote "FUBU or Tommy Hilfiger only or don't bother"

momma11906
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:37 PM

well my 2 lil guys DONT ask 4 no expensive stuff like that 'cause i COULDNT buy them no games 2 play with them but what lil bit they have aked 4 FOUR yrs in a row has ALWAYS gotton NOTHING it seems that their names ALWAYS gets 2 the VERY top of the BIG tree @ the mall so they NEVER get picked!!! thank GOD that we have the toys 4 tots here !!!  i can do a GREAT big stocking w goodies cause of the f.s. card though and i DO the LISTIA  auction site   STILL chasing their dad 4 c.s.   but they ALWAYS get momma hugs and kisses!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 75 on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:40 AM
My siblings and I are all adults, starting off in our. My parents were able to support us throughout our lives. Now that we are on our own and supporting ourselves, I assume my parents have extra spending money this time of year. Last year, they were able to give DS systems to kids from the tree at my dad's office. Most of the people at his office are fairly well off and have adult kids who they no longer support. From what I can tell, they are able to and do purchase expensive gifts for Angel Tree families. I'm on a shoestring budget, but I hope to get that point in my life when I am able to bless a child the way I have been blessed during my life. For now, it's the less expensive angel requests...
Ihold8Stars
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 3:48 PM
Your kinda ignorant.

It's NOT the people in Need that make the rules or operate the program!

The New only rule is usually because...

They can't wash them ( you'd be surprised how many nasty people are out there who donate dirty clothes... Because as you think betters shouldn't be choosey they believe they can wash them if they "really need"

Also Tags are written on and often ripped out making many man hours in a field that underpaid or volunteer based!

Why is so many have this perception of those in need? Becareful cuz skid row is just a job lose and denial of unemployment benefits away!


Quoting devsmom98:

This is also slightly unrelated but we have a program in our community where u can donate a coat to a child in need..its not really an angel tree because they only accept coats but they will only accept new coats not used ones..I am more than happy to donate the dozen or more coats that I have that my son has out grown but if they don't want them simply because my son wore them then I think that's a little rude..they're obviously not THAT much in need..

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Ihold8Stars
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 3:57 PM
Thinks you need to reread my post before you assume it's aimed strictly at yourself...

I didn't quote you.

Keyword " Ladies"


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think you read right. I'm trying to say these kids are NOT greedy, they just like what every other kid does. I'm also trying to say don't skip over their tag because there is ONE expensive item on it. Read the whole list and see if there's something else you can afford.




Quoting Ihold8Stars:

So when your children make a "Santa list" of things they "wish" they had.. Do you tell them to keep it in a particular price range?





I run a local Christmas program in my city- this will mark Out 4th year.





We ask the parents to allow the kids to write a letter to Santa.





We also ask the parents to tell us a bit about their childs hobbies, favorite colors, music, movies, characters etc..





Then we compile a list we will purchase based on matching local sales with childs list and parents input. Each child is aloted $100-





one 13 yr old last yr received a Xbox and 4 games- the xbox was found used on craigslist with these games!





Maybe think outside of the box and try to make a childs dreams come true instead of putting some massive evil greedy tone to a childs list!





I know some folks abuse the system but I think it's mighty selfish of you ladies to assume all kids in need come from such homes!





As you buy your starbucks.. Pasteries.. Energy drinks... Think about how much you spend yearly on BS you don't need then remember that childs only getting that chance 1x a year!


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justme91755
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:58 AM

 the palce where I worked was giving kids a shopping spree( if you can call it that) of $50.  Of course you can not get an Xbox or ds for that and some kids were really upset but then there were the ones who asked if they could spend the money to buy presents for other people in their family, things like gloves and hats and books.so  it baalances out. We once had a lady sign up her kids because her husband was out of work so we put toghter some toys and then pulled up in front of her house to find a new boat, jet skis and a V-8 pickup and their tree in the front window was stacked with packages.  Needless to say we skipped her house and took the gifts to the Salvation Army for kids who needed them  I wish there was a way to report people like that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 76 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 6:30 AM

When my kids reached 4 and 7 we did the angel tree and we got the same ages as the girls were. Each of my girls helped pick out toys and clothes that were for our "angels" that were the same age as them. We did it for 5 years. Then I was floored. Not only all these clothes requested but one of the most expensive Barbie 3 level home was requested. Im sorry but it kinda pissed me off. I couldnt afford that toy for my kid. How can you ask a stranger to buy something that most little girls dont have. Then it got to be too expensive to keep up. I was spending over $400 on my Angels and still not being able to afford all the things they wanted. So then the Angel tree adult "helpers" would manipulate you saying how they will try to find someone to "add too" your items. What started out as a gesture of humanity was turning into greed. One kid asked for  a new bike along with other expensive clothes. One asked for tennis shoes I couldnt afford for my own girls. I dont think its fair to ask for such things. I too grew up poor. At that time, you got used toys. Many Christmas went by and I didnt get a thing as I grew up in foster care. Yes this was nearly 50 years ago but I was happy with whatever I got. Just because your poor doesnt make it okay to be greedy either and to ask for things others dont have.

Beth3721
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 5:23 PM

Even the "poor" kids in America are rich.

myraonny
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 4:40 PM

I was gonna try to see if I could sign my kids up this year. Not my older 3 but my little two. After reading most of these comments I think I am gonna decline. Both my little guys are special needs.  I don't want to deal with the judgement if someone decides to get my epileptic kid something with flashing lights and i need to return it either to the program or to the store for something appropriate. Or if someone gets my kid something that is "yucky" like lights up and makes noise or is a "yucky" color or a "yucky" texture. (2 yo spd kid). It is so sad that people would ruin programs like this for people who need it. We are still deciding on how we are going to handle this year because we only have enough money to get a small thing for the little kids. My teens aren't getting anything and they are disappointed but understand. I also wouldnt want to be judged from someone stopping by to drop off stuff and seeing that we have a newer car (Bought a few years ago when we only had the teens and 1 little guy on the way, almost done paying off an '09 Dodge) or that my 14 yo has a laptop (issued by the tech school that he attends instead of high school.) Or that we have a big screen tv, that was given to us as a christmas/birthday present for the whole family by my mother a few years ago. Or that my husband has designer clothes left over from when he was a teenager that he bought on discount by working at the store.

Ihold8Stars
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 5:29 AM
That's stupid! For all you know that's a friend or families home and they the visitors OR could have been living in basement or attaic apartment, the boat you don't know if it was New or just well cared for.. So what if they had jet skiis you can get them off craigslist cheap Npt tp mention she said her husband was laid off or not employed at the time.. Not that he was to stupid to have made a living before hand!

People like you make me sick! I run our local program and judgemental prudes like yourself who do good for the feel good only ate who I think needs reporting!

We help to help Ypur Not in that ladies shoes How dare you assume? For all you know the "stacked" gifts were freakin decorations ppl wrap empty boxes for show! For all you know it was used stuff.. Or free stuff or dollar store stuff..,

That's why you shouldn't Judge! Programs have income requirements OBVIOUSLY Thats familes checked out!

V8 truck ARE you serious? You sound jealous..

So for you to feel good about yourself you need to feel the other person is less then yourself?




Quoting justme91755:

 the palce where I worked was giving kids a shopping spree( if you can call it that) of $50.  Of course you can not get an Xbox or ds for that and some kids were really upset but then there were the ones who asked if they could spend the money to buy presents for other people in their family, things like gloves and hats and books.so  it baalances out. We once had a lady sign up her kids because her husband was out of work so we put toghter some toys and then pulled up in front of her house to find a new boat, jet skis and a V-8 pickup and their tree in the front window was stacked with packages.  Needless to say we skipped her house and took the gifts to the Salvation Army for kids who needed them  I wish there was a way to report people like that.


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