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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

RAPE is a horrendous crime committed by horrendous people who deserve to be in jail for life while tortured daily... HOWEVER

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Stop using the fact that you were raped in your life as an excuse to why you have made poor decisions. I see it daily on cafemom when someone is questioned about poor choices, the first thing they say is "well, I was raped so..."

Tragedies happen to people daily, yet those tragedies do not DEFINE who you are. Anytime post discuss PA, or education, or anything else remotely controversal, there's also the select few who have to mention they were a victim to rape as if it excuses every poor decision that has been made since.

I know how it feels to be raped and violated, however I chose not to let it define who I am and chose to exceed in life. I chose not to hold future men accountable or the race of the man ruin my perspective of that race.

If you feel the need to validate your poor choices by the tragedies in life than I truly feel sorry for you. This world has so many more opportunities than your horrible past.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:55 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:15 PM

I'm torn by what you say. I agree to an extent. I had a very traumatic childhood, and it did for the rest of my growing up years HUGELY affect the decisions I made in regard to the fact that my perception of myself was warped. I was hurting badly and drowned that with drugs and alcohol. I do however believe that we all have to come to a point where we accept to the best of our ability what we can not change even if that remains a daily struggle. I chose to rise above all that I knew, and to be accountable for my own actions. I don't think it should be your crutch, but I also believe many don't see that they are using it as such. I do however think that we have had to live our stories and should be able to share them when it helps and not feel ashame or like a burden to others.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:16 PM
Very well said. This post is pissing me off. These bitches do not know the circumstances of everyone's situation. Some people are stronger than others, trusted the violator, who knows. I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol, but wanted to die. I had many horrible things happen growing up and the rape of two friends who drugged me, was the tip of the iceberg. It has ruined my life.

Quoting ShesALady:

Everyone handles things differently. Someone who was raped repeatedly by a family member might have more issues than someone who was walking down the street and was raped by a stranger. I'm not saying one is worse than the other. I'm saying mentally things are different and handled differently. A woman who was raped as a child might have so much pain inside her she turns to drugs or alcohol just to numb the pain. She might not have respect for herself or body so she sleeps around. Some people don't have the support they need to get through it. Some people it was their own family that did that to them so the ones they should have been able to count on most for trust are the ones who broke them. You can't say well I've been through this and I'm fine so what's your excuse. Everyone is different. Seems like people would know this by now!!!
daiseymae2
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:16 PM

I don't use it as an excuse, but it does explain why I made certain poor choices in my life when I was younger. Once I realized why I was making those choices I was able to change my behavior. It also explains some of my anxiety issues. It does play a part in defining who we are and the choices we make. However, it does not absolve us from the consequences of those choices.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Like I told someone else, I don't expect everyone to cope. I expect people to want to RISE above their tragedy, meaning SEEK HELP if they need to. However to sit back and allow years to past while making poor decisions KNOWING they are still affected by this traumatic event is playing VICTIM.

You are in charge of your own future. Tragedies happen and it's up to YOU to rise above by any means necessary in order to have a happy life, As difficult as it may be.



Quoting TSNDDY:

I never noticed, but it's hard to say. You weren't there you don't know what exactly happened to them, or how traumatizing their rape was. Just because what happened to me has had little effect on my life, doesn't mean I can assume that everyone's experience was like mine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Absolutely!

Quoting TSNDDY:

I never noticed, but it's hard to say. You weren't there you don't know what exactly happened to them, or how traumatizing their rape was. Just because what happened to me has had little effect on my life, doesn't mean I can assume that everyone's experience was like mine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Totally agree! I was raped and it will not hinder me in anyway.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:19 PM
It has Not ruined your life, you are still Alive ;)

Quoting Anonymous:

Very well said. This post is pissing me off. These bitches do not know the circumstances of everyone's situation. Some people are stronger than others, trusted the violator, who knows. I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol, but wanted to die. I had many horrible things happen growing up and the rape of two friends who drugged me, was the tip of the iceberg. It has ruined my life.



Quoting ShesALady:

Everyone handles things differently. Someone who was raped repeatedly by a family member might have more issues than someone who was walking down the street and was raped by a stranger. I'm not saying one is worse than the other. I'm saying mentally things are different and handled differently. A woman who was raped as a child might have so much pain inside her she turns to drugs or alcohol just to numb the pain. She might not have respect for herself or body so she sleeps around. Some people don't have the support they need to get through it. Some people it was their own family that did that to them so the ones they should have been able to count on most for trust are the ones who broke them. You can't say well I've been through this and I'm fine so what's your excuse. Everyone is different. Seems like people would know this by now!!!
tifbrown
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:20 PM
I absolutely agree.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
winkyloafer
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a bitch, isn't it?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mantyangel
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:21 PM

I totally agree.

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