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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Stop blaming your parents! You're an adult now!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: If they were you kids, would you feel guilty

Options:

yes

no

undecided.


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Total Votes: 40

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This is a popular saying round these parts. I'm just wondering does it go both ways? Would you feel guilty or responsible for bad choices your children make once they become adults? For arguments sake, let's say that you are 67 years old. You have 5 adult children.

The oldest is mentally ill and can not live on his own.

The second oldest lives on her own, but has never been happy in life. Most likely she has an undiagnosed personality disorder.

Next one in line has never been able to be financially responsible. She's had 7 abortions that you know of, and your grand daughter has had two already at the age of 19. Her home is currently in the process of foreclosure.

The next one is a doormat.

Then the baby of the family has a learning disability. She never made it through high school and is now unemployed.

All children have spent thousands in therapy.

So what do you think? As a mom would you feel guilty or responsible for any of those things or is it their jobs as adults to compensate for your shortcomings as a parent?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I could see one having problems or being a complete screw up.  But all of them?  At least some of that lands on the parents doorstep.  I'd have to wonder what went on when they were growing up.

slashteddy
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd probably feel responsible for the middle three...

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:52 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I could see one having problems or being a complete screw up.  But all of them?  At least some of that lands on the parents doorstep.  I'd have to wonder what went on when they were growing up.

Mom was married three times and had one live in boyfriend. The kids have three different dads. That's just the beginning.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:53 PM


Quoting slashteddy:

I'd probably feel responsible for the middle three...

Not the one who didn't finish high school? 

slashteddy
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Not as much, probably, no. Granted since this is hypothetical since I can't empathize with the parents, I've never actually been there myself... but I've dealt with a learning disability and I've had friends who had a REALLY tough time getting through high school. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. Now if the youngest just gave up on education and won't even TRY to look for a job, then yes, I would feel responsible. But if she got her GED or was working towards it, that I could understand.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting slashteddy:

I'd probably feel responsible for the middle three...

Not the one who didn't finish high school? 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:19 PM

That makes sense.

Of course I could tell you that her learning disability wasn't even discovered until she was 17 and prior to that she was just told how lazy she was all the time. Then the mom talked her in to dropping out of hs telling her she could easily just take a test to get her GED, never mentioning that it cost money that she was not prepared to fork over. lol


Quoting slashteddy:

Not as much, probably, no. Granted since this is hypothetical since I can't empathize with the parents, I've never actually been there myself... but I've dealt with a learning disability and I've had friends who had a REALLY tough time getting through high school. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. Now if the youngest just gave up on education and won't even TRY to look for a job, then yes, I would feel responsible. But if she got her GED or was working towards it, that I could understand.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting slashteddy:

I'd probably feel responsible for the middle three...

Not the one who didn't finish high school? 



slashteddy
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:22 PM

Oh wow, that sounds horrible. :( Especially to later find out that she's not lazy, but having to deal with being put down all the time... Why did the mom convince her to drop out of school?! I was thinking it was the girl's choice from having a hard time... :|

Quoting Anonymous:

That makes sense.

Of course I could tell you that her learning disability wasn't even discovered until she was 17 and prior to that she was just told how lazy she was all the time. Then the mom talked her in to dropping out of hs telling her she could easily just take a test to get her GED, never mentioning that it cost money that she was not prepared to fork over. lol


Quoting slashteddy:

Not as much, probably, no. Granted since this is hypothetical since I can't empathize with the parents, I've never actually been there myself... but I've dealt with a learning disability and I've had friends who had a REALLY tough time getting through high school. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. Now if the youngest just gave up on education and won't even TRY to look for a job, then yes, I would feel responsible. But if she got her GED or was working towards it, that I could understand.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting slashteddy:

I'd probably feel responsible for the middle three...

Not the one who didn't finish high school? 




brittany208
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:24 PM

Yes, I would feel incredibly guilty. One child that made bad choices, okay. But all children having a rough life--I'd sure feel like the common denominator.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:25 PM

With those kids, i would have to say it IS her fault. she SHOULD feel guilty. 

but no. in general, with the idea you are giving. 

thetrollcat
by Meow on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:26 PM

oh snap... maybe the breeding should have been limited???

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