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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Stop blaming your parents! You're an adult now!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: If they were you kids, would you feel guilty

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yes

no

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Total Votes: 40

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This is a popular saying round these parts. I'm just wondering does it go both ways? Would you feel guilty or responsible for bad choices your children make once they become adults? For arguments sake, let's say that you are 67 years old. You have 5 adult children.

The oldest is mentally ill and can not live on his own.

The second oldest lives on her own, but has never been happy in life. Most likely she has an undiagnosed personality disorder.

Next one in line has never been able to be financially responsible. She's had 7 abortions that you know of, and your grand daughter has had two already at the age of 19. Her home is currently in the process of foreclosure.

The next one is a doormat.

Then the baby of the family has a learning disability. She never made it through high school and is now unemployed.

All children have spent thousands in therapy.

So what do you think? As a mom would you feel guilty or responsible for any of those things or is it their jobs as adults to compensate for your shortcomings as a parent?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Replies (31-37):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:53 PM


Quoting Hierophant85:

I would feel bad but it comes to a point where they need to stand up and help themselves.

They've all had years of therapy, well except the one with all the abortions. She was only in therapy for a couple years mostly because she's never maintained health insurance long enough to take care of that sort of thing.

jamamama00
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:56 PM

Wait a sec though...I just read back through the comments, and you say the mom had three diff kids w/ three dads, didn't recognize learning disability until seventeen, etc? I mean, that alone tells me that there must have been at the least a pretty good amount of dysfunction.....

Quoting Anonymous:

No, none of those things

Quoting jamamama00:

There's a lot of missing info here. For example: was this an abusive home? Overly controlling? Overly permissive? Drug and alcohol use? Those are some examples of domestic issues that can cause a child to have stunted behavioral and emotional growth. True, many children escape dysfuntional homes unscathed, and possibly even better because of it. But statistically speaking, more often than not, children from dysfunctional homes remained scarred for life.



Lordgodempress
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:57 PM

i would feel terrible and if everyone of my children turned out like that then chances are it is because of something I did.     There is no way imo a good mother can have everyone of her children  turn out to be losers ( unless of course she only has one)

BEXi
by BEXi on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:58 PM

Yes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:59 PM

Dysfunction, yes. Alcohol, physical abuse, no. Overly controlling, no. Overly permissive, possibly. More just a general victim attitude. A woman raising 5 children on her own always looking for some one to rescue her from her situation and never taking responsibility for a single thing in her life.

Quoting jamamama00:

Wait a sec though...I just read back through the comments, and you say the mom had three diff kids w/ three dads, didn't recognize learning disability until seventeen, etc? I mean, that alone tells me that there must have been at the least a pretty good amount of dysfunction.....

Quoting Anonymous:

No, none of those things

Quoting jamamama00:

There's a lot of missing info here. For example: was this an abusive home? Overly controlling? Overly permissive? Drug and alcohol use? Those are some examples of domestic issues that can cause a child to have stunted behavioral and emotional growth. True, many children escape dysfuntional homes unscathed, and possibly even better because of it. But statistically speaking, more often than not, children from dysfunctional homes remained scarred for life.




mommyof11050307
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:59 PM
I think it may be part of her fault but not totally depending on how she raised him. My sister blames my parents for not graduating college and not having the money to go. Sorry they didn't have the money nor did you fill out fasfa. My sister swears up and down they both his their tax return so she couldn't fill it out. She blames my parents for her having to move out because she couldn't act right mind you she was 21 plus at this point. Her now husband and her blame his parents for him having add and never treating it. Up your 32 go to the dr office and get some meds. They both felt entitled to both parents paying for their wedding knowing full well our parents couldn't afford it. They helped but didn't pay for everything.
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silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:01 PM

no

as an adult you got to grow up and take responsbility

if that was true i would have excuse to beat my children (which i would never dream of doing)

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