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we are this years "adopt a family" and my sd is pissed!!! *edit eta*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i just found out today that my sons guidance councilor put our names in for the towns adopt a family thing. i myself am greatful for it. i seriously thought my kids wernt going to have xmas this year. we hit a really hard spot and between what we are backed up on and my kids needs and the damn price of oil im not going to have anything left to shop with. well not very much anyway. well now my sd is pissed because she doesnt want to be the towns charity case. i tried to explain it to her but shes not cracking. not sure how to handle it with her. the young ones dont know and wont know but shes older and she heard me on the phone. ugh!! i tried to explain to her that after everything is paid that leaves about $100 for xmas to cover 5 kids. thats not exactly alot and it definatly doesnt go far but shes still pissed. idk what to do now. i dont want her to be pissed at me but at the same time i dont want them to have a shitty xmas either.


***** for those asking, she is 15

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
Gwynyth
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:39 PM

She will get over it.

rebeccasmommy09
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:42 PM
She's embarrassed and covering it up with anger. I completely understand. We were our church's charity case one year when I was a teenager. I was completely embarrassed because, while anonymous to the rest of the church, the pastor had a son who was only a year older than me. It was mortifying to me as a teenager to have my peers know how bad of shape we were in.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:47 PM

oh i know she will get over it but the current attitude problem is getting on my nerves. she knows we are in a tight spot but she doesnt want to be the town charity. i mean i understand, i really do but what else am i supposed to do ya know? you would think she would be happy with the things that she is already getting cuz shit i coulda kept the laptop for myself lol (a firend of ours builds computers and owed me alot of money. sd broke her computer but needs it for school so we worked out a deal with him) and she got a new phone last month instead of for xmas cuz grandma cut her off when she moved in with us.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody will force her to accept the gifts. I guess she is in this "what will my friends think" stage. The problem is that teenagers do not understand what it means to hit a hard spot, struggling to pay the bills, and trying to make Christmas a wonderful experience for the family. No, it is not all about gifts. But let´s be honest...would your children not be sad if there was NOTHING. I mean nothing, no Christmas tree, no presents, nothing. I know mine would because it is a special time for our family. 

OP, please do not let her ruin Christmas for the rest of you. If she chooses to exclude herself from you, then so be it. Let her do it. Your other children should not have to pay the price for her selfishness. Others would be grateful for it. 

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Tell her she doesn't have to participate or accept any of the gifts but she gets nothing then. sorry momma things will get better



AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Is she used to getting everything her way? I might overstep a line here, but why did she move in with you? Is her mother not in the picture? She could spend Christmas with her instead. Or her Granny. 

Quoting Anonymous:

oh i know she will get over it but the current attitude problem is getting on my nerves. she knows we are in a tight spot but she doesnt want to be the town charity. i mean i understand, i really do but what else am i supposed to do ya know? you would think she would be happy with the things that she is already getting cuz shit i coulda kept the laptop for myself lol (a firend of ours builds computers and owed me alot of money. sd broke her computer but needs it for school so we worked out a deal with him) and she got a new phone last month instead of for xmas cuz grandma cut her off when she moved in with us.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody will force her to accept the gifts. I guess she is in this "what will my friends think" stage. The problem is that teenagers do not understand what it means to hit a hard spot, struggling to pay the bills, and trying to make Christmas a wonderful experience for the family. No, it is not all about gifts. But let´s be honest...would your children not be sad if there was NOTHING. I mean nothing, no Christmas tree, no presents, nothing. I know mine would because it is a special time for our family. 

OP, please do not let her ruin Christmas for the rest of you. If she chooses to exclude herself from you, then so be it. Let her do it. Your other children should not have to pay the price for her selfishness. Others would be grateful for it. 

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Tell her she doesn't have to participate or accept any of the gifts but she gets nothing then. sorry momma things will get better




Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:55 PM

god for a poor girl she sure does sound spoiled.  i would have NEVER been that disrespectful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:05 PM

not really. dh has had full custody for years. mom chose a man over her. she went to live with grandma for a few years inbetween because she was mad at dh for trying to move her to tn. after her grandmother got caught up in a rental scam and lost her house she came to stay with us. shes not really spoiled and she knows about our finaces and everything its just the stigma of the whole thing. shes a very greatful and thankful kid for being a teenager she just doesnt like the idea of taking charity from strangers


Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Is she used to getting everything her way? I might overstep a line here, but why did she move in with you? Is her mother not in the picture? She could spend Christmas with her instead. Or her Granny. 

Quoting Anonymous:

oh i know she will get over it but the current attitude problem is getting on my nerves. she knows we are in a tight spot but she doesnt want to be the town charity. i mean i understand, i really do but what else am i supposed to do ya know? you would think she would be happy with the things that she is already getting cuz shit i coulda kept the laptop for myself lol (a firend of ours builds computers and owed me alot of money. sd broke her computer but needs it for school so we worked out a deal with him) and she got a new phone last month instead of for xmas cuz grandma cut her off when she moved in with us.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody will force her to accept the gifts. I guess she is in this "what will my friends think" stage. The problem is that teenagers do not understand what it means to hit a hard spot, struggling to pay the bills, and trying to make Christmas a wonderful experience for the family. No, it is not all about gifts. But let´s be honest...would your children not be sad if there was NOTHING. I mean nothing, no Christmas tree, no presents, nothing. I know mine would because it is a special time for our family. 

OP, please do not let her ruin Christmas for the rest of you. If she chooses to exclude herself from you, then so be it. Let her do it. Your other children should not have to pay the price for her selfishness. Others would be grateful for it. 

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Tell her she doesn't have to participate or accept any of the gifts but she gets nothing then. sorry momma things will get better





AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:18 PM

I can see why she would feel this way. I just hope she can accept the generosity and the help you guys are offered. There is nothing wrong with it. It is a friendly gesture,not pity. There is a huge difference. 

Quoting Anonymous:

not really. dh has had full custody for years. mom chose a man over her. she went to live with grandma for a few years inbetween because she was mad at dh for trying to move her to tn. after her grandmother got caught up in a rental scam and lost her house she came to stay with us. shes not really spoiled and she knows about our finaces and everything its just the stigma of the whole thing. shes a very greatful and thankful kid for being a teenager she just doesnt like the idea of taking charity from strangers


Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Is she used to getting everything her way? I might overstep a line here, but why did she move in with you? Is her mother not in the picture? She could spend Christmas with her instead. Or her Granny. 

Quoting Anonymous:

oh i know she will get over it but the current attitude problem is getting on my nerves. she knows we are in a tight spot but she doesnt want to be the town charity. i mean i understand, i really do but what else am i supposed to do ya know? you would think she would be happy with the things that she is already getting cuz shit i coulda kept the laptop for myself lol (a firend of ours builds computers and owed me alot of money. sd broke her computer but needs it for school so we worked out a deal with him) and she got a new phone last month instead of for xmas cuz grandma cut her off when she moved in with us.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody will force her to accept the gifts. I guess she is in this "what will my friends think" stage. The problem is that teenagers do not understand what it means to hit a hard spot, struggling to pay the bills, and trying to make Christmas a wonderful experience for the family. No, it is not all about gifts. But let´s be honest...would your children not be sad if there was NOTHING. I mean nothing, no Christmas tree, no presents, nothing. I know mine would because it is a special time for our family. 

OP, please do not let her ruin Christmas for the rest of you. If she chooses to exclude herself from you, then so be it. Let her do it. Your other children should not have to pay the price for her selfishness. Others would be grateful for it. 

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Tell her she doesn't have to participate or accept any of the gifts but she gets nothing then. sorry momma things will get better






Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this
They don't give out the names to anyone, besides maybe the first name. I've done adopt-a-family. All I knew was the age and sex of the kid I shopped for. I had a 6 year old girl. That is all I know.
illinoismommy83
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:26 PM

Fine. If she is upset then she can have nothing. I am sure the other 4 kids can split her presents. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:26 PM

i wish i could do more but i gotta make sure we have heat too. im on a fixed income and have 3 special needs kids (though only one of them is full time special needs) dh has an income but it isnt much. usually this wouldnt even be an issue but we got nailed with a bunch of crap last min and its like really? this couldnt have happened over the summer where it wouldnt really have made a dent? lol


Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I can see why she would feel this way. I just hope she can accept the generosity and the help you guys are offered. There is nothing wrong with it. It is a friendly gesture,not pity. There is a huge difference. 

Quoting Anonymous:

not really. dh has had full custody for years. mom chose a man over her. she went to live with grandma for a few years inbetween because she was mad at dh for trying to move her to tn. after her grandmother got caught up in a rental scam and lost her house she came to stay with us. shes not really spoiled and she knows about our finaces and everything its just the stigma of the whole thing. shes a very greatful and thankful kid for being a teenager she just doesnt like the idea of taking charity from strangers


Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Is she used to getting everything her way? I might overstep a line here, but why did she move in with you? Is her mother not in the picture? She could spend Christmas with her instead. Or her Granny. 

Quoting Anonymous:

oh i know she will get over it but the current attitude problem is getting on my nerves. she knows we are in a tight spot but she doesnt want to be the town charity. i mean i understand, i really do but what else am i supposed to do ya know? you would think she would be happy with the things that she is already getting cuz shit i coulda kept the laptop for myself lol (a firend of ours builds computers and owed me alot of money. sd broke her computer but needs it for school so we worked out a deal with him) and she got a new phone last month instead of for xmas cuz grandma cut her off when she moved in with us.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody will force her to accept the gifts. I guess she is in this "what will my friends think" stage. The problem is that teenagers do not understand what it means to hit a hard spot, struggling to pay the bills, and trying to make Christmas a wonderful experience for the family. No, it is not all about gifts. But let´s be honest...would your children not be sad if there was NOTHING. I mean nothing, no Christmas tree, no presents, nothing. I know mine would because it is a special time for our family. 

OP, please do not let her ruin Christmas for the rest of you. If she chooses to exclude herself from you, then so be it. Let her do it. Your other children should not have to pay the price for her selfishness. Others would be grateful for it. 

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Tell her she doesn't have to participate or accept any of the gifts but she gets nothing then. sorry momma things will get better







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