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my six year old isnt having christmas this year *edit*

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We have the money, and even had the toys, but she has always gotten what she has wanted and this year her ungratefulness for everything she owns and gets is has shown... for her birthday she got a dsi from her daddy and a bunch of other toys, but she wanted to open the gifts I got her and I told her to wait til later... I told her I will bring them out later that night because I wanted to give her time to play with her toys from her dad. While I was outside bringing in groceries, she went in the closet and got her toys out anyways. I called her dad and I took all her toys for the week. It broke my heart but she needed to learn a lesson and thought she did but appearantly not...

We have spent over 800 dollars for christmas presents and I had them in my closet. Noone is allowed in my room but everytime I went in my room today, the closet door was opened so I suspected she did it so tonight I sent her in there to put something away and went in after she was done and again the door was open so I confronted her, and she admitted to opening the door to see her gifts... I asked her what all she saw because I was just going to take those gifts and give them to the less fortunate children but she refused to answer so I took all but four small little gifts and brought them out, showed them to her, and explained she wasn't getting them... we took them to the police station, and I had her drop some of them off in the box of toys for tots, and we got back in our car and went home... when we come back from our vacation, Monday she is going to take the rest back to the store and get the money and buy gifts for her sister and other people...

All she is left with is four little toys with stockinng stuffers and everytime she goes back in the closet a toy will get taken and given to someone who will appreciate it...

My two year old is still having christmas and she will still have all the toys we bought her but my six year old is going to learn a lesson the hard way... it breaks my heart but I refuse to have a spoiled brat

Well got to go to bed... we have to be up in a couple hours to go out of town for thanksgiving...

But I do want to say one thing... it is kinda funny how I posted the same thing on my fb status and got a different... everyone was all for what I was doing including my family.
I am not doing this to be mean or hateful or to take christmas away from my child... I am doing this to teach her a valuable lessons, and no this is not what normal six year olds do. That is not what I remember growing up and that is not what I want my kids to do... I have rules and I expect them to be obeyed and if they are broken then there will be consequences nomatter if it is christmas or not... she broke my rules and now she has to deal with the consequences. She still has toys, it is just not as much as she would have had..

I am not here to be her friend... I am here to be her mother . And although this hurts me, I have to follow through and I will because she has to learn this lesson.. she willingly did this knowing the consequences for her actions, and now I have to follow through with what I said and punish her so maybe next time this won't happen...

Goodnight ladies... I have to be up in four hours
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:13 AM
Replies (281-289):
by Anonymous 34 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:06 AM

one of my kids was acting like a spoiled brat, acting out and ungrateful for anything , we hid her presents and made her watch the whole family open theirs , we told her if she kept up her bad behavior she wasnt getting anything , well after about a hour letting her think she got nothing we gave her her gifts , i think she got the point ,good luck

by facta, non verba on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:11 AM

Actually that is not what she stated in her initial post. She said every time she went into her room, the closet door was open, which indicates that this happened repeatedly. 

You also don´t know the background, so you don´t know what else has been tried to correct this behavior. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You only gave her one chance. There was no warning. I can understand if you caught her once, warned her, and she did it again, but the first time you caught her, you took her toys from her. I get that you're trying to teach her a lesson, but I don't know.. I just don't think you went about it the right way... She's going to be so sad on Christmas morning..

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:32 AM

i get why you're doing this and kudos to you for trying to teach her a lesson.  if she knew the consequences and did it anyway, then she will have to suffer the consequences.  i'm all for teaching kids a lesson (age-appropriate, of course).

my sister is teaching her kids about the less fortunate.  her daughter who is 7 has a pen pal from el salvador and when my niece saw the picture of the shack her friend lives it, i think it really hit home.  she is now collecting toys and donations for the less fortunate children around the world.  i think this is a wonderful way to show children that not everyone is as lucky and not everyone has the toys etc that they have.  when dd is that age, i plan to do the same because  no kid should grow up feeling entitled.  we work damn hard for what we have and appreciate it.  kids should grow up learning the same.

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:36 AM

I do agree with what you're doing however this is typical of a six year old. It is a hard lesson to learn but also I would try to put more emphasis on what Christmas is really about. 

by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:08 AM
It didn't bother her at all??? Maybe you have one of those kids who doesn't care much about material things. Maybe it is her personality. Maybe she just shows no emotion. I don't know. Like I said you know her better than I ever will. And I know you're making the decision that works best for you am her. Good luck with everything!! :-)

Quoting uriahadel:

Yea there is more to it... from the time she was really little, she never showed gratitude for anything, and she never smiles or is happy when she receives anything, and I thought that was just her personality, but this year it really started showing, and when I took her gifts away on her birthday, it didn't bother her... tonight when I took them and made her take them to the police station, it didn't bother her... I think it bothers me more then it does her... I honestly don't think she believes I will go through with it, but I am, and on christmas it is going to break her heart and that is when it is going to hit the fan... it is already breaking my heart but I know I have to go through with this... my other child is very grateful for everything she gets but my oldest is and has never been grateful

Quoting moosesmom:

I'm sure there's more to this. You live with her and I don't. But all I read about was an eager child who couldn't wait to see her gifts. The anticipation was killing her!! Lol.

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by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

Don't listen to her! Christmas isn't about gifts anyways, or money, so why would PA matter? It sounds like she needs some things that money can't buy!

Quoting white_wolf454:

this mom who lives in the same street as me she well off very well off they always get the best of everything and looks down her nose at me , well she found out i am on Pa and said "PA should not be allowed a Christmas thats for people who have money and a job " I lost my job i was a dog groomer and it went out of busness not enough cash flow so had to go on PA while i look for work and i would scrub toilets with a tooth brush if it ment and honest buck

Quoting LovingSAHMommy:

Quoting white_wolf454:

this will be my second christmas i cant get my kids gifts glad some parents an afford to do this but then again pa are not allowed to have a Xmas or something i been told before i just hope my kids will forgive me 

Your kids will forgive you. You aren't choosing to not buy them gifts. You would if you could. There's a difference. If you don't mind me asking, who were you saying you heard isn't allowed to have a Christmas?

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:55 AM

I'm late on this and I won't be popular for saying this, but I understand.  When my kids were 7 and 10, I felt this way.  They didn't take care of their stuff, they always wanted wanted wanted, never asked if someone else needed anything.  

I went in their rooms and I took everything out, toys, stuffed animals, video games, their tv's their stereo's CD's, everything but their clothing and beds.  I put them out to the curb and the neighbors took it all.  The best part was the kids got to see their friends, playing with their stuff.  They never, ever were unappreciative again and they are now very giving and caring.  And they aren't materialistic.  They are 19 and 22.

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:01 PM

You are terrible.

Quoting uriahadel:

Oh I told him because he is suppose to be getting her something that cost 300, and I told him he can't... he text me back and asked why she wasn't having christmas and I told him why so he isn't... and if he does, she won't be accepting it... again my rules, and I have sole custody of her so it is my choice

Quoting MNDsM:

That's so sad, she's so little to have her excitement quashed. My guys are 13 now and I would do anything to have two excited 6 year olds running around! I just hope her father doesn't use a magical holiday to make a point and ruin things for her completely.

by Anonymous 35 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

You sound really mean, she's just a kid.

this .... be a mom not a witch

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