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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So that's how you feel?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
I introduced A "friend" (S) of mine whom I've been "friends" with for nearly 8 years to a new friend. In meeting the new friend she met her cousin and started dating him. My new friend (C) lives in the back house of her cousin so when S is there or waiting for the boyfriend she goes over and waits in Cs house.



Today C came to me pissed off. She said that S was talking to her and was REALLY insulting to her, but not just her! Me too! She was expressing her opinions of us in a very not nice way.



First- we are both SAHMs with 2 kids that are pretty much the same age. We are both Catholic, prolife, we both have college degrees, and are married to Black men while we are Mexican.



So S was saying how she didn't know how we are SAHMs without going crazy. That she's educated and has to "use her mind."



-uhm- we ARE educated! We both have degrees. We simply chose our kids over our careers.



Then she went on to talk about how she thought S and I had become not as good of friends as we were because when she had an abortion this year I wouldn't wish her luck! I told her I couldn't support her decision, but I would support her. I don't believe in abortion. That's all there is to it. But I love S and support HER. And she went on to ask C about her opinion. But with how S had talked about how I reacted, she said that S REALLY doesn't want to know what her opinion is.



Then S started talking about our kids, our family life, how we were putting it "all on our husbands" to support us, and how she was taught to be independent. And went on to talk about how our kids would be better in daycare! C got mad at this point and told her that we chose to raise our kid ourselves and not pay someone to do it. That we chose our family over working and since our husbands don't have a problem with it S should butt the hell out.



Then S says that she trusts me and when she decides to have a kid she knows she can trust me to take care of her baby while she works. C for madder and told her, see. You criticize us for being SAHMs but then say you would trust us with your kids because you know we are good moms! She was kind of pissed off!



Then S asks to smoke weed IN Cs house while her kids were home! I mean seriously? In someone's house at all is absurd, but while the kids are home? Ridiculous.



Now I'm not sure if I should confront S about her opinions of me or let it go. I'm the kin of person who would rather you tell me exactly how you feel to my face than behind my back. I don't care how insulting it might be. I an let it going its to my face, but begin my back pisses me off! DH says to forget it and he will learn soon enough when she finally has a kid. But idk. What do I do?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:15 AM
Bump. I know it's long, but no one?
areyouatroll
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:19 AM
I don't think I would be her friend any longer if I were you
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
The.Hug.Life
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:19 AM

Well...I would confront her in a non-confrontational manner. KWIM?

ETA: It could be "C" spreading a rumor to ruin your friendship with "S" or just create a  bit of drama. "C" could be exaggerating the events to make it seem like "S' was more in the wrong. Most women won't admit that their friends are capable of this, but it does happen. I had a BFF who I was so close with (think about all those real friends/best friends posts on FB--she was my bestie!) spread a lot of vicious rumors about me that really hurt me out of jealousy when I got married.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:23 AM

I agree, how do you know she isn't trying to sabatoge the friendship because she is jealous?

Quoting The.Hug.Life:

Well...I would confront her in a non-confrontational manner. KWIM?

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:40 AM
I think you may be right. I think a lot if the reason I am so upset about it is because it was behind my back. I don't mind someone telling me, honestly, how they think. I can take it, accept the criticism and either chalk it up to a difference of opinion or not. But when it is behind my back it pisses me off a lot.

I think I will let it drop and just remember that my prolife opinion hurt her feelings. I may have supported her, but not supporting her decision could have gone worse than it did. Hopefully, we can both grow past that.




Quoting The.Hug.Life:

Well...I would confront her in a non-confrontational manner. KWIM?

ETA: It could be "C" spreading a rumor to ruin your friendship with "S" or just create a  bit of drama. "C" could be exaggerating the events to make it seem like "S' was more in the wrong. Most women won't admit that their friends are capable of this, but it does happen. I had a BFF who I was so close with (think about all those real friends/best friends posts on FB--she was my bestie!) spread a lot of vicious rumors about me that really hurt me out of jealousy when I got married.



MizzDeeDee
by Gold Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:46 AM

Who  wishes someone "good luck" at their abortion procedure? Even if I was pro-choice, I just find that an odd thing to expect and to say. I think being supportive would be the most important thing to her.

I agree with the pp, talk to her about it.. or just sit back and see what SHE does. If she said that to C then I assume she knows it will come back to you and I also assume she'd say the same to you as well. She might just say it to you anway on her own.

Good luck <<<<<<<<<<<<< appropriate time to say that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:54 AM
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I couldn't do it. I couldn't believe she asked me to wish her luck on an abortion! I mean it's something I'd pray for strength, guidance, quick healing, but never luck.


Quoting MizzDeeDee:

Who  wishes someone "good luck" at their abortion procedure? Even if I was pro-choice, I just find that an odd thing to expect and to say. I think being supportive would be the most important thing to her.

I agree with the pp, talk to her about it.. or just sit back and see what SHE does. If she said that to C then I assume she knows it will come back to you and I also assume she'd say the same to you as well. She might just say it to you anway on her own.

Good luck <<<<<<<<<<<<< appropriate time to say that.


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