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how do you get over an affair?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 50 Replies
It was almost a year ago. But I'm still upset and crying about it. Our relationship has gotten better, but I still hurt. And I'm upset with myself for letting a man take me there. I'm on depression and anxiety meds now, I cant sleep. I have to "make" myself turned on enough to make love to dh. But if I don't he knows not to touch me. Some nights I even pick a fight before bed just so that he won't. We have not done therapy because we can not afford it. So I need some help? Ideas? Please.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Platinum Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:29 AM

I dont because I would never trust him again and just keep picturing in my head him with the other woman.  It would be over. 

I guess the only way to get over it really is to find out what the root cause of it was--it never really is just about sex.  There was something that made him stray, something that drew him to the other woman that maybe he didnt feel like he was getting enough of at home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:30 AM
Counseling, counseling, counseling.
BeAmour
by Tonya on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Yeah, no. I learned the hard way...you never get over a gross betrayal of trust.
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ERMAGERRD
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:32 AM
You never do
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:32 AM
I know what the cause was. But thats how I grew up, thats how I was when we met. How can I change who I am because he feels unwanted? I'm very independent and non affectionant(sp) but he knew that before hand.


Quoting MixedCooke:

I dont because I would never trust him again and just keep picturing in my head him with the other woman.  It would be over. 


I guess the only way to get over it really is to find out what the root cause of it was--it never really is just about sex.  There was something that made him stray, something that drew him to the other woman that maybe he didnt feel like he was getting enough of at home.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Can't afford it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Counseling, counseling, counseling.

Tinabee88
by Platinum Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Dump him and the meds. He's broken your spirit enough.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:33 AM
You won't make it then.

Quoting Anonymous:

Can't afford it.




Quoting Anonymous:

Counseling, counseling, counseling.

Grumpylilpixy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh honey you are just starting the healing. He has to also earn your trust back. But it stays with you for the rest of the relationship.

layawatling
by Laya on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:34 AM
I have no idea, bump!
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