I can't get him off my mind and I know it's wrong

[Anonymous]

From 2005-2008 I had a relationship with a man. We met online. He lived in another state. We spend every day, hours and hours talking, emailing, texting. He is a musician so his time was limited and I had just went thru a divorce so I had my children to take care of. We saw each other a few times a month. We shared everything. I helped him write his music.

We could never get our lives moving in sync so being together full time wouldn't have worked. I met a man, started dating him and long story short, we are married.

I'm happy. My husband treats me amazingly. Caters to my every need and want. We never argue, we laugh, joke and our life is great.

2 years ago, we decided not go talk anymore, wasnt fair to my husband. (Before we got married) But I miss my friend deeply. I dream of him. And not the physical, but the spiritual connection we had. I YouTube his videos and I cry watching him, singing lyrics I wrote for him. I want to contact him, see how he is doing. I'm restraining myself to not call him. But it's hard.

My heart feels like it is missing pieces.

Has anyone been thru this? The pain is so unbearable.

[smurfbitebug]

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

[DollFace-23]

She stated they say each other a few times a month

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

[DacieArie]

"We saw each other a few times a month."
I'd assume so.
Op maybe you should seek a counselor.

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

Yes, reread my post. Several times a month we would drive and see each other. I'd spend weekends at his families home with him. We took some vacations together. But theirs his music career got going, of course the less I saw of him. And my career requires me to travel, so it was impossible.

[Anonymous]

Link his youtube vid!

[smurfbitebug]

I must have missed that part.

What I'm trying to figure out is why, if they had such strong feelings for each other, they didn't seem to have a solid relationship at any point. I think if they had had that, OP wouldn't feel so.. cheated? Out of him.

Quoting DollFace-23:

She stated they say each other a few times a month

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Quoting DacieArie:

I guess it's something to consider. Not sure what they could do for me. But anything is worth a try. Me feeling this way is not fair to my husband.

[smurfbitebug]

Ah. I see.

So it ended friendly and mutually?

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Did you actually ever meet this musician? Spend time with him other than in cyber land?

Yes, reread my post. Several times a month we would drive and see each other. I'd spend weekends at his families home with him. We took some vacations together. But theirs his music career got going, of course the less I saw of him. And my career requires me to travel, so it was impossible.

[DacieArie]

They can help you get to a mental level where you're able to let it go and cope.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting DacieArie:

I guess it's something to consider. Not sure what they could do for me. But anything is worth a try. Me feeling this way is not fair to my husband.

[Nicoleb9]

What would happen if you contacted him and he said he still has feelings for you?