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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How long could you stay in a sexless relationship/ marriage?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Before you couldn't take it anymore and decided to leave?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:47 AM
Replies (271-280):
HipLikeJunk
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:35 PM
I was in one for two years. I eventually left for other reasons.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
tharealty2
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:36 PM

As long as I committed to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 63 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:43 PM
I just opened this post and as I was reading the replies I was thinking the same thing! Most of the ones saying they'd stay haven't been through it. I'm currently in a non affectionate and very rarely sexual marriage. It is sad and depressing and lonely. I have just recently finally sat back and realized how bad this is. I have been in denial and believed him when he said he loved me and things were fine. I don't know for sure if he's cheating, or if he just doesn't love me like that. Either way I can't allow this for my life anymore. I love him very much and the thought of divorce breaks my heart, but I'd never cheat. I'm just not that person. So imagining staying with him and feeling this for years and years and years sends me into a huge depression. It's not just about sex. It's about lack of any form of affection at all.

Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like the majority of people that have never had to go through this are saying that they would be together forever. Thats A LOT easier said than done. Also, people make it seem as though having a sexless marriage is a choice. Well, sometimes your partner refuses to cooperate no matter what you do. It's not as cut and dry as people make it seem. Hopefully no one will ever need to know what the reality and hardship of a sexless/affectionless marriage feels like.
Summerlion1123
by Platinum Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Depends on why. Because he's not giving me attention or doesn't find me attractive? Because he's cheating? I wouldn't stay long. Because he can't? Forever.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 64 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:45 PM
I wouldn't leave i would just get a BOB.
AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:46 PM
A couple months.
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BelindaDuvessa
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:58 PM

There was a time in mine and my other's relationship where this was an issue.  We've grown past that.  In all honesty, this seems to be more of an issue for younger couples than older ones.  We had this issue when we were 24, 25...that age.  Now that we are about to turn 28, we've moved on and realized that the sex isn't everything.  It also helped that we realized that my issues with not wanting to have sex were linked mostly to my birth control, which I have since stopped.  My hormones are still out of whack, and won't be back to normal until after this one is born.  But my honey stuck it out for 3 years with little to no sex from me.  And I think we are now stronger because of it.

BelindaDuvessa
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:05 PM

My husband was the one who got the shaft in that regard.  The idea of sex completely disgusted me.  I saw it as a chore, and not as a pleasure.  Even him touching me and trying to initiate just turned me off even more.  Communication helped us alot.  And so did taking me off the birth control I had.  We're still not up to a huge amount, but it's steadily getting better. I was just lucky to have a husband who was willing to talk to me and us get through these issues together.  But if one party is unwilling to compromise or communicate about it, even a little.....that creates a huge rift that isn't easy to fix.  I'm sorry to all you ladies that have gone through this without a happy ending.

Quoting Anonymous:

See those are all legitimate reasons not to have sex. Some of us have experienced a partner that just doesn't want intimacy. Then what do you do?


Quoting Anonymous:

my husband and I have had several "dry spells" over the years (he was deployed, he was sent away for military duty stateside for six months and I couldn't go, I had alot of complications from giving birth and couldn't have sex for six months...for better or worse, so I would stick around. Prob buy a really fancy vibrator though.



tharealty2
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:12 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I just opened this post and as I was reading the replies I was thinking the same thing! Most of the ones saying they'd stay haven't been through it. I'm currently in a non affectionate and very rarely sexual marriage. It is sad and depressing and lonely. I have just recently finally sat back and realized how bad this is. I have been in denial and believed him when he said he loved me and things were fine. I don't know for sure if he's cheating, or if he just doesn't love me like that. Either way I can't allow this for my life anymore. I love him very much and the thought of divorce breaks my heart, but I'd never cheat. I'm just not that person. So imagining staying with him and feeling this for years and years and years sends me into a huge depression. It's not just about sex. It's about lack of any form of affection at all.

Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like the majority of people that have never had to go through this are saying that they would be together forever. Thats A LOT easier said than done. Also, people make it seem as though having a sexless marriage is a choice. Well, sometimes your partner refuses to cooperate no matter what you do. It's not as cut and dry as people make it seem. Hopefully no one will ever need to know what the reality and hardship of a sexless/affectionless marriage feels like.

How are you all concluding the ones saying stay haven't been thru it? many shared that they had been thru dry spells, lasting months and more.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 65 on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:17 PM

I am in a sexless marriage, I don't believe in till death do you part.  If your not happy and he is unwilling to change, leave.  Seriously, sex is a huge part of marriage.  I don't feel connected or sexy anymore.  

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