Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What Actions Constitutes A divorce?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should A Woman Divorce Just Because She Is Unhappy?

Options:

Yes,because it is her business and her right.

No,unless of abuse or cheating

Maybe,it depends on all the facts of the relationship


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 345

View Results

 Sometimes I feel like some women are quick to get a divorce instead of really trying to work out their marriage.I have a friend who is contemplating a divorce and has a laundry list of complaints.All of which seem petty and workable to me?

I just feel like if a man is not beating on you or cheating you should really try before tearing apart your family.I am not saying be in a miserable marriage.I am just saying all marriages have up times and down times.My friend says that women should not stay if unhappy and should have high expectations for companionship.I say what about the kids and the constitution of marriage?For better or worse and in sickness and health?

What are your feelings on divorce and marriage?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 6:41 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:02 AM
1 mom liked this
That was put perfectly!


Quoting CeeGee81:

Who wants to be stuck in a marriage where they are unhappy?  If she has tried everything to make it work, tried everything to get that "spark" and love and happiness back but it just doesn't happen......then yes, I feel a divorce is needed.  Unhappy marriages can turn hostile and volatile.  It's not fair to anyone in the household to be around such constant unhappiness all the time.  It will do more damage to the kids (if there are kids involved) than a divorce will.

My mother and stepfather had that kind of marriage and I was lucky enough to get out of the house before it turned REALLY bad but my brother and sister were stuck in it and I cant even begin to describe what they had to go through, it was a very sad situation.  They are divorced now and everyone is much happier and in better places.  Divorce was the best thing.

PerfectVirgo
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:04 AM
I stayed with a lying, drug addicted, abusive, irresponsible asshole for 8 years trying to make it work before I gave up. Went through 2 suicide attempts, multiple imprisonments, and more job losses than I can remember. But he was my husband. I exhausted EVERY resource before divorce.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:09 AM
Making a marriage work goes BOTH ways. They were happy enough and so much in love to get married in the first place then they should figured out where did it make the wrong turn. But sometimes people grow apart sadly enough. I for one am all about saving a marriage! HELL my dad is sleeping on my couch because his marriage isn't working. I wish they could work it out but it isn't looking too good right now. Everything is worth fixing but if she's unhappy she can't fight for her marriage alone and what you may see as petty is a big problem for her because she goes home to that person everyday.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
yourmamahaha
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:10 AM
Lol


Quoting BeAmour:

 IMO, divorce and abuse are grounds for divorce. I'm in the process of divorcing a man who CONSTANTLY cheated and was very abusive towards me. I stayed and tried to make it work for 3 years. I didn't give up easily but I finally gave up and was dragged out of the situation by my parents who refused to stand there and allow any of it to happen anymore. God bless them.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry to hear that and you tried! I'm glad you're free and still here so someone else can appreciate you.

Quoting PerfectVirgo:

I stayed with a lying, drug addicted, abusive, irresponsible asshole for 8 years trying to make it work before I gave up. Went through 2 suicide attempts, multiple imprisonments, and more job losses than I can remember. But he was my husband. I exhausted EVERY resource before divorce.
Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:13 AM


Quoting ButterMeUp:

IMO the only reason you should devorce is because of abuse or cheating. All other reasons seem to point to two people marrying before they really knew eachother and were not mature enough.

LOL-you do know that people can CHANGE right? I was married for 20 YEARS before I got divorced.  How can that be me not knowing him well enough? He changed-he became mentally ill, and while I agree with in sickness and in health-when 5 years of counseling doesn't convince you you have a problem and need medication, what will?

He became an angry unhappy man. Who needed medication for both depressiona nd anger management. Never laid a hand on me-although he came close to being overly forceful with my daughter.  The only thing stopping him was he KNEW I would have him arrested if he ever hit any of us.  JUST before we divorced my Father had to intervene when he was being VERY forceful with my oldest. He was trying to DRAG her across the room ( the morning after this she was hospatilized for 10 days because she was SICK)  My Father stepped in and picked her up and said C'mon honey let's go up to your room now. He was in his early 70's and he carried her 13 year old 100 pound body all the way upstairs.....

Mywasbund was never left alone with her after that incident. In fact he wasn't granted visitation with her.

No way I could have stayed and risked him hurting her.

hax0rm0m
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:14 AM

God forbid someone should get a divorce because they want to enjoy their one and only short life.

cryssi_renee
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:14 AM
Abuse or cheating more than once will get him a divorce. Thankfully my DH hasn't done any of that to me. If I was just unhappy we would try to fix the problem.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ButterMeUp
by Butters on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:26 AM
Why do you feel the need to prove me wrong? You didn't anyhow, I would consider that emotional abuse.

Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting ButterMeUp:

IMO the only reason you should devorce is because of abuse or cheating. All other reasons seem to point to two people marrying before they really knew eachother and were not mature enough.

LOL-you do know that people can CHANGE right? I was married for 20 YEARS before I got divorced.  How can that be me not knowing him well enough? He changed-he became mentally ill, and while I agree with in sickness and in health-when 5 years of counseling doesn't convince you you have a problem and need medication, what will?

He became an angry unhappy man. Who needed medication for both depressiona nd anger management. Never laid a hand on me-although he came close to being overly forceful with my daughter.  The only thing stopping him was he KNEW I would have him arrested if he ever hit any of us.  JUST before we divorced my Father had to intervene when he was being VERY forceful with my oldest. He was trying to DRAG her across the room ( the morning after this she was hospatilized for 10 days because she was SICK)  My Father stepped in and picked her up and said C'mon honey let's go up to your room now. He was in his early 70's and he carried her 13 year old 100 pound body all the way upstairs.....

Mywasbund was never left alone with her after that incident. In fact he wasn't granted visitation with her.

No way I could have stayed and risked him hurting her.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
amandae21
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:31 AM

I agree with you. I'd add addiction to the list of reasons to divorce. (assuming they won't get help or  relapse habitually).

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)