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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What Actions Constitutes A divorce?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should A Woman Divorce Just Because She Is Unhappy?

Options:

Yes,because it is her business and her right.

No,unless of abuse or cheating

Maybe,it depends on all the facts of the relationship


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 345

View Results

 Sometimes I feel like some women are quick to get a divorce instead of really trying to work out their marriage.I have a friend who is contemplating a divorce and has a laundry list of complaints.All of which seem petty and workable to me?

I just feel like if a man is not beating on you or cheating you should really try before tearing apart your family.I am not saying be in a miserable marriage.I am just saying all marriages have up times and down times.My friend says that women should not stay if unhappy and should have high expectations for companionship.I say what about the kids and the constitution of marriage?For better or worse and in sickness and health?

What are your feelings on divorce and marriage?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 6:41 AM
Replies (31-40):
lullabylily
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you.
There are phases in marriage that we have to go through together to make a marriage work. It is sad that some will give it up because they are not willing to work on it.


Quoting RoseBlossom:

this is the problem of 'first world' marriages. it is all about how happy the other person makes you. its all about taking and not giving. i have done extensive reading from all kinds of marriage books, some are religious based, others are not. there is no prince charming that can be charming all the time. ppl change, they grow up, their behavior and personalities can change as well when kids come along. no one will be happy forever. the spark will leave eventually. this is where the real work of marriage comes in , and sadly many ppl will leave at this time. it is most rewarding when one has fought through the phase of not feeling love or happiness anymore and has come out the other side with more respect and a real love for their spouse.


Quoting lullabylily:

I personally think Abuse-Addiction-Adultery are the ground for divorce. I do not know how being unhappy in a relationship, especially with children, can not be resolve with therapy and counseling. We got married because we were in love and want to spend the rest of our live with our SO.



My best friend of 20 years had asked for a divorce because of that very reason, unhappiness in her marriage. Her husband cried and try to hold on to her, asked and begged her how can he make her happy, but she refuse to continue the marriage, refuse to do counseling, refuse therapy. She love him but feel that the marriage is not going anywhere. One day out of the blue she told me flat out "I am getting a divorce, I need you to back me up, to be my witness for irreconcilable difference" no one commit the 3As in their 6 years of marriage. She was just unhappy and feel that she could have done better with life. In the end, after the divorce were settled (they have 1 child) she met someone. Married him, move to England. Got another divorce. Met another guy. Marry him again. So in the last 5-6 years she has been divorced twice and married 3 times. I hope she can finally be happy but deep down I dont think she will until she make peace with herself and able to define what is 'HAPPY' to her.



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rowseylove
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this
I got divorced for my own reasons, others probably won't agree or think I could have made it work.... but I don't care what others opinions are, just my own. (:
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RoseBlossom
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this

there are different kinds of love, and one can always fall back in love with someone if they truly try

Quoting Maks1mommy:

I think one should get divorced when they are no longer in love. If there's no chance at ever getting that back then leave. Everybody deserves life time happiness, not just a few years of it.


Jstoddard98
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:08 AM

I agree with you.  But I think it all reverts to people just shouldn't be jumping into marriage.  People are too quick to marry whomever they fancy at the moment.

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:13 AM
This

Quoting CrimsonRose01:

I think people should try to work on their marriages unless there is abuse or constant cheating going on. I would try every option out there to save my marriage before giving up and divorcing. 

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bluemountain75
by SoftballMom on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:24 AM
I've been married twice and both ended in divorce. The first one I was unhappy and I tried some but not with much effort, I used to regret it but I'm now over it. The second one I tried and tried. He was just so angry all of the time. He was a captain in the military and maybe he went over seas one too many times because when he came home from his last deployment he was not the same. I tried and tried, he did too but we just were not clicking together anymore. He was very emotionally and mentally abusive, I couldn't take it and left. I ail never marry again. I'm done, obviously I'm not cut out for marriage.
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ButterMeUp
by Butters on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:25 AM


Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting ButterMeUp:

Why do you feel the need to prove me wrong? You didn't anyhow, I would consider that emotional abuse.

Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting ButterMeUp:

IMO the only reason you should devorce is because of abuse or cheating. All other reasons seem to point to two people marrying before they really knew eachother and were not mature enough.

LOL-you do know that people can CHANGE right? I was married for 20 YEARS before I got divorced.  How can that be me not knowing him well enough? He changed-he became mentally ill, and while I agree with in sickness and in health-when 5 years of counseling doesn't convince you you have a problem and need medication, what will?

He became an angry unhappy man. Who needed medication for both depressiona nd anger management. Never laid a hand on me-although he came close to being overly forceful with my daughter.  The only thing stopping him was he KNEW I would have him arrested if he ever hit any of us.  JUST before we divorced my Father had to intervene when he was being VERY forceful with my oldest. He was trying to DRAG her across the room ( the morning after this she was hospatilized for 10 days because she was SICK)  My Father stepped in and picked her up and said C'mon honey let's go up to your room now. He was in his early 70's and he carried her 13 year old 100 pound body all the way upstairs.....

Mywasbund was never left alone with her after that incident. In fact he wasn't granted visitation with her.

No way I could have stayed and risked him hurting her.

LOL-how was he emotionally abusing me by being unhhappy and losing his temper?  He never said one rude word to me-never called me any names, never denigrated my abilities, nothing.  Unless you call complaining about having to take his turn cooking dinner as emotionally abusive..... Or bitching if I left items off of the grocry list.

ALL of the issues stemed from his depression-which he refused to treat.  Strictly speaking he was ill-but refused treatment.  My guess is if he HAD gotten treatment and turned back into the smart funny witty man I married-we would still be together.

Let's agree to disagree. 

*If you read my post and there are mistakes in my spelling or grammar please note that I never learned either in school and I am currently learning them now. If you see a mistake POLITELY point it out and I'll be more than happy to correct my mistake. Here's a fun little siggy for your enjoyment. *




Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Abuse and cheating is what ended my marriage...I'm too good of a woman for that fragglanackle bullstuffing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:29 AM
After years of my dh telling me people who use drugs are stupid he was arrested for cocaine use. He went to rehab and I thought all was good. Nope. Found out he is doing meth. He'd rather do that than be with his family. I can't trust him to stay with dd ( he left her home alone and sick to score). I can't trust him to pay bills. I just can't trust him period.
Mabuka
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:31 AM
My parents were also married for 30 years and were completely miserable the whole time! They never hugged or kissed or said I love you to one another. I grew up thinking it was normal. When I found out that wasn't the case, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
My mother is insane!


Quoting AngryBob:

I can't really judge. I have definite deal breakers for my marriage, such as infidelity or abuse, but my parents have had an unhappy marriage for thirty years. My mom was always complaining that if she had to do it over, she wouldn't have married my dad. Thanks, mom, that makes me feel good about myself. It's healthier for kids to see their parents happy with their life choices.

But you also have a point, op. People are so quick to throw their marriages away.
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