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The dad word

Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

I have never had a step parent. I dont know how this works.

I have been with my DF almost 2 years. My son is not his. DF takes responsibility and is a better father than my DS real one ever wished to be. My son is 6. He calls DF by his name, which is ok. I was wondering when or how does it come about that a child call someone who isnt their real father dad?

No I a not trying to force anything. I am just a little confused at the process of it. If he calls him by his name forever thats ok with me. He knows who raised him.

His sperm donor is a POS. He was from the beginning was just to love struck at the moment to realize it til it was too late. He has nothing to do with my son what so ever. He has not seen him in 5 years and my son doesnt know who he is. No I get no child support. I have been taking care of him alone up until I met DF. 

Is anyone else in the same situation?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:55 PM
It just happens naturally over time.
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by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:57 PM

It either happens over time or not at all. My cousin's SS started calling her "mom" around the time her twins were old enough to talk... they called her mommy and he just kind of started doing that too (his bio mom isn't in the picture at all)

by Platinum Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:00 PM
It depends on the child. My kids call my dh James or dad, depends on their mood.
by Gold Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:00 PM

My oldest just starting calling him daddy when my second was born because I called him daddy then. Talk to you DF about it, you don't want to make him uncomfortable.

by Lorelai on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:01 PM
It just happens...One day it will feel right for your son and he will go from there. Just don't be upset if it doesn't happen at all--Sometimes it doesn't and that's okay.
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by Sapphire Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:02 PM
Idk. I was forced to call my step father "papa" ughhhhhhh I cringe just typing it. I was NOT comfortable with it. Now as an adult I can't even say the word. It just bothers me so much,

I ended up never calling my stepdad anything. I just say "hey".

I have twice in my life called him "papa". Once was in therapy where my therapist made me and I was literally crying and it took me about 30 mins just to say it.

When my mom first got with him I called him mr. First name. I called him that for a couple years when my mom decided it was disrespectful an impersonal and I needed to call him "papa". I wouldve been fine with mr. First name all my life. That's what I was comfortable with and use to
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by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:03 PM

My bio-dad was always in and out of our lives, but I still called him dad and my step-father my his first name.  But when talking to other people I refer to him as my father, it just makes it easier. I hate having to explain it, because my bio-dad has been MIA for awhile now.

by Platinum Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:07 PM

It might happen over time and it might not. It just depends on their relationship and what they are comfortable with. I would just let it happen if it happens.

I doubt my son will ever call my husband "dad" despite him taking on that role over 10 years ago. 

by Gold Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:08 PM
I'm partly there. I'm not dating but my ex hasn't been around and legally never will be. Good luck mama
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by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:15 PM

ive been SM to my SS since he was 2- hes 10 now. BM sees him about twice a year and isnt involved much. once DH and I got married (he was 4 at that time) we told him he could call me mom or by my name whatever he was comfortable with. at first he didnt really use mom much, but from time to time he would call me "mommy (my name here)". then once DH and I had another child (when SS was 6) he really started calling me mom more and more. DH would refer to me as "go ask your mom" or " what did mom say", etc, etc. now as the years have gone on id say its about 60/40, 60% of the time he calls me mom, 40% by my name. i leave it up to him. he refers to me as mom when conversing with my BS and usualyl when talking with his freinds too (he gets tired of answering....."why do u call your mom by her first name?" all the he also calls me mom when he wants something or when hes upset. his BM get EXTREMELY upset if she hears him refer to me as mom so he always calls me by my name in her presence. 

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