Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Please tell me that this makes some kind of sense.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

 I hope that no one gets offended but there's always that one, or few, that will. When I was a child, I was molested by an older man. That is some of the reason I'm so screwed up in the brain when it comes to men. This man wasn't the same race as me and he was a friend of the family. I find men of his race attractive and a handful of times am also attracted to them but I could never seriously date or have sex with someone of that race. At first I thought it was because I just didn't like them but that's not true because I find plenty of them attractive. After thinking about it, I think he is the reason I have that block. Does this make any kidn of sense, at all?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:51 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:54 AM
Yeah, I think so. My situations not the same at all but once I get hurt by a darker guy I stop dating them then when the white guy and I break up I date only darker ones. weird but I just noticed a few weeks ago
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:55 AM
Yes it does. I was raped by this man. I refused to date guys tha was the same race as him for the longest time after that
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:55 AM

My father and brother were pretty much losers and because of that, I couldnt seriously date that particular race even though I find plenty of them attractive for fear they would be like them.  My half-brother molested my sister while I was present but too young to stop him as well as him being physically aggressive with me and let me tell you that has scarred me for life as well to the point that it is VERY difficult for me to trust any man because if you cannot trust your own family than who can you trust???

marihla
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:56 AM

You are attracted to them because you have the fantasy of reliving those moments, but this time while you are in control. It's pretty common with those that have suffered sexual abuse. But of course they can also remind you too much of the previous situation.

Apollos82
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:56 AM
Mental associations and blocks happen all the time, in all sorts of situations. It makes total sense to me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:00 AM

 

Quoting marihla:

You are attracted to them because you have the fantasy of reliving those moments, but this time while you are in control. It's pretty common with those that have suffered sexual abuse. But of course they can also remind you too much of the previous situation.

 No. I'm attracted to them because they're attractive. This thought actually occurred to me last night at about 1 a.m. It's something that I've never thought about until last night, which is why I'm here asking cause I've never really put much thought into it. But it's certainly nothing that I want to relive. I hardly ever think about what happened but I'd be a liar if I said it hasn't fucked me up in the head, along with not trusting men of my own race because all I saw from them were abusive assholes. But I have a child with a man of my race and have been with men of my own race.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:00 AM

I was molested by my uncle when I was young. I have a problem with all men...I have been married for 8 yrs and I still have flash backs while im intimate with my husband....I still wonder when this will stop. It is normal to have feeling like yours.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:03 AM

 

Quoting Apollos82:

Mental associations and blocks happen all the time, in all sorts of situations. It makes total sense to me.

 Okay, thanks. I thought that I was making things up in my mind. It just never crossed my mind and out of the blue, this is what I come up with. Made sense to me but wasn't sure if it actually made sense....

notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:04 AM
Makes total sense. I'm so sorry. Have you tried therapy?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:05 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I was molested by my uncle when I was young. I have a problem with all men...I have been married for 8 yrs and I still have flash backs while im intimate with my husband....I still wonder when this will stop. It is normal to have feeling like yours.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN