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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

They want to take my womenhood away :(

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

About 3 months ago i went to the ER with some really bad cramps and really heavy bleeding i mean  2 pads an hour heavy i thought maybe i was pregnant and was lossing the baby but i wasn't so they took me in to do an ultrasound and they saw a hole in my uterus about 3cm big and a cyst about 4.1cm long on the other side. They took the cyst out and repaired the hole the cyst was not cancer thank god BUT they beleave it will come back so i was told to think about maybe having my uterus removed.. I AM 28 AND HAVE 4 CHILDREN BUT WHAT IF I WANTED ONE MORE!!! I feel like if i do go ahead and have my uterus removed i will no longer be the women my husband loves :(

Sorry i needed to vent

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Replies (31-40):
hollydaze1974
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 2:14 AM
Your husband married you, not your uterus and would rather have you healthy for a long, long time. You've given him a family. It's scary and not a decision to be made lightly and one to be made together with your husband. What if it cancer next time? I'd make an appt with my normal gyn and drag DH with me for the doctor who literally knows you inside and out and find out what he thinks. And then...get a second opinion.
I'm sorry, mama....but if women who have had double mastectomies in your age group can still be the women their husbands married, so can you.
Apollos82
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 2:14 AM
I'm so sorry. :( I, personally, cannot wait to get rid of mine but I can just as equally see the other side.

Do what you need to for your health, talk lots with your husband, and try a little project: make a journal or a collage, or a scrap book, or whatever, about what makes YOU feminine and a woman. Explore who you are apart from your parts.
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tezell78
by Silver Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:16 AM
Mama, I was 32 when they told me I had aggressive non hpv cervical cancer that was on my uterus, not in but on my uterus.
You will still be a woman.in my case I'm a happier, pain free, more stable woman.yep it sucks that I can never carry my own baby again, BUT I'm here for the babies I have.
I know the struggle you are going through, but a uterus does not a woman make!!!
it will be ok I promise. There are all sorts of options available now days. Your health needs to come first. Hugs, I hope you find some peace and comfort to make the decision you need to make.
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winkyloafer
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:19 AM
Your health is more important than your want for more children. Be thankful for the four that you have.
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nicmain
by Silver Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:23 AM
i had a hysterectomy at 29. Im only 30 now. I understand. Its emotional and you grieve the loss of your childbearing years. But my husband and i discussed it and ultimatly my uterus had no bearing on how much of a women i am i his eyes. We made two beautiful children together and are content with that. I would be lying if i said i didnt have momment of baby fever. But its only been 5 months and so far, i am happy i did it. You will still have your normal hormones if they leave your ovaries. I had uterus and cervix removed.
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nelliesmommy
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:25 AM
I understand your needing to vent. I'm sorry. At least you have four healthy children and not zero and being told that. I'm sure your husband will still love you.
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mantyangel
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:29 AM
I need mine taken out too. I know I am done having kids so I don't worry about that. Just the pain, possible side effects and maybe sex being different. I will not miss aunt flow though.
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Fields456
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:34 AM
I agree and if you ever want another child u can always adopt


Quoting 702girly:

You are so much more than a uterus. You'd be just as much of a woman without one.


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tezell78
by Silver Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:48 AM
The recovery is not bad.you will be sure for a few weeks.
Hot flashes, crazy vivid dreams for a while, night sweats, they should come and go, nothing unbearable though.I have some post menopausal rage issues my doc and I are working on, easily managed....
Sex is different..... Not going to lie. For me and most I know who have had the surgery, orgasms are more intense, easier to achieve and last longer.............


Quoting mantyangel:

I need mine taken out too. I know I am done having kids so I don't worry about that. Just the pain, possible side effects and maybe sex being different. I will not miss aunt flow though.
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Tinabee88
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 4:15 AM

I think I know how you feel.

I was told I may never be able to have kids and the news was devastating. Long story short I felt like a man/unfeminine/alien for years until I met a doctor who looked me in the eyes and said point blank:

"You are NOT defined by what your uterus can or cannot do!"

Her words stick with me to this day.

What you're feeling is grief and shock. If they need to remove your uterus it would only be for your benefit. Think about it like this; If a cyst is found and it's cancerous then you (I pray you don't) pass away would you want your children to grow up motherless?

Talk to your doctor about freezing some of your eggs so that if you decide to have more children you can find a surrogate (maybe a family member as surrogates are expensive!).

Remember, your womanhood is not defined by what your uterus can do.

Quoting Anonymous:

About 3 months ago i went to the ER with some really bad cramps and really heavy bleeding i mean  2 pads an hour heavy i thought maybe i was pregnant and was lossing the baby but i wasn't so they took me in to do an ultrasound and they saw a hole in my uterus about 3cm big and a cyst about 4.1cm long on the other side. They took the cyst out and repaired the hole the cyst was not cancer thank god BUT they beleave it will come back so i was told to think about maybe having my uterus removed.. I AM 28 AND HAVE 4 CHILDREN BUT WHAT IF I WANTED ONE MORE!!! I feel like if i do go ahead and have my uterus removed i will no longer be the women my husband loves :(

Sorry i needed to vent

 

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