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Ugh! My mil told dd she is a "porker"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dd is 11. She is not overweight but has put on some weight over the last few months. I think it is because her hormones and body are starting to change. Today she ate a normal size plate and then asked for a slice of pie for dessert. My mil said to her "you really shouldn't eat too much, you are already a little porker". I was extremely angry and snapped. She is already self-conscious over gaining the weight and starting to develop. I do not want her to have a negative body-image. She is beautiful and not fat at all. I am so angry that my mil said that. She wasn't joking, it was said in a rude way. Every time I think about it, I get more and more upset! My sil said she was always critical of her looks and weight when she was younger.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Replies (101-110):
spooky415
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:13 AM
I just figure she's insecure and assumes everyone is concerned about weight like her.


Quoting Anonymous:

How horrible! I can't stand people who are that superficial. If they ever developed weight issues I would teach them to make healthier food choices and exercise with them but it would be in a loving way. I would never be that critical of my kids or anyone else.




Quoting spooky415:

My stepmom is that way. She's kind of superficial and sometimes it seems like her priorities are out of whack. She used to be very critical of every bite I put in my mouth and was very controlling when it came to food. Once I ordered a coffee and she totay embarrassed me by saying ale sure it has SKIM milk and artificial sugar!' to the barista. I was like, 16...it was so embarrassing.







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RissyLee
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:15 AM
That's horrible :(
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Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:37 AM

In childrens or womens?  I am 30 and don't wear a size 10/12 in women's jeans.  


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, it would have still bothered me. We are normally healthy eaters. We don't eat a lot of junk food. Dd would rather have fruit than ice cream or cakes. She does physical activity regularly. She isn't overweight at all. The difference is she is not skin and bones anymore. She used to be tiny. I think she looks healthier now than she did before she added a few pounds. If you you saw her, you wouldn't think she was overweight or chunky. If I thought she was eating unhealthy and being lazy, we would work on it together. I understand what you are saying but her grandmother was just being a bitch. She is 11 and wears a size 10/12 in jeans and shirts.


Quoting Elyce225:

If she said it in a nice way would it have bothered you as much?



You have to be careful with 11 year old girls and how you talk to them. Calling her a porker is probably counter-productive. But, maybe grandma brought it to the table now and you and your DH should talk to her about weight and eating healthy to stay at an appropriate weigh? There are so many young girls who go through puberty and get fat. Their parents don't want to say anything because they don't want to hurt their feelings. I've seen it a million times. I would take this and use it as a learning lesson for your daughter.







Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Children's. Sorry, I should have been more specific. I am 33 and don't wear a 10/12. I would agree that she has weight issues if it was women's sizes.


Quoting Elyce225:

In childrens or womens?  I am 30 and don't wear a size 10/12 in women's jeans.  



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, it would have still bothered me. We are normally healthy eaters. We don't eat a lot of junk food. Dd would rather have fruit than ice cream or cakes. She does physical activity regularly. She isn't overweight at all. The difference is she is not skin and bones anymore. She used to be tiny. I think she looks healthier now than she did before she added a few pounds. If you you saw her, you wouldn't think she was overweight or chunky. If I thought she was eating unhealthy and being lazy, we would work on it together. I understand what you are saying but her grandmother was just being a bitch. She is 11 and wears a size 10/12 in jeans and shirts.





Quoting Elyce225:

If she said it in a nice way would it have bothered you as much?





You have to be careful with 11 year old girls and how you talk to them. Calling her a porker is probably counter-productive. But, maybe grandma brought it to the table now and you and your DH should talk to her about weight and eating healthy to stay at an appropriate weigh? There are so many young girls who go through puberty and get fat. Their parents don't want to say anything because they don't want to hurt their feelings. I've seen it a million times. I would take this and use it as a learning lesson for your daughter.












Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Lol, at first I was like "Holy crap" haha.  I agree with you completely then.  It's mean, especially to a vulnerable 11 year old girl.  I'm glad you and your DH told her to beat it.  Is she ok today?

Quoting Anonymous:

Children's. Sorry, I should have been more specific. I am 33 and don't wear a 10/12. I would agree that she has weight issues if it was women's sizes.


Quoting Elyce225:

In childrens or womens?  I am 30 and don't wear a size 10/12 in women's jeans.  



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, it would have still bothered me. We are normally healthy eaters. We don't eat a lot of junk food. Dd would rather have fruit than ice cream or cakes. She does physical activity regularly. She isn't overweight at all. The difference is she is not skin and bones anymore. She used to be tiny. I think she looks healthier now than she did before she added a few pounds. If you you saw her, you wouldn't think she was overweight or chunky. If I thought she was eating unhealthy and being lazy, we would work on it together. I understand what you are saying but her grandmother was just being a bitch. She is 11 and wears a size 10/12 in jeans and shirts.





Quoting Elyce225:

If she said it in a nice way would it have bothered you as much?





You have to be careful with 11 year old girls and how you talk to them. Calling her a porker is probably counter-productive. But, maybe grandma brought it to the table now and you and your DH should talk to her about weight and eating healthy to stay at an appropriate weigh? There are so many young girls who go through puberty and get fat. Their parents don't want to say anything because they don't want to hurt their feelings. I've seen it a million times. I would take this and use it as a learning lesson for your daughter.













Pnukey
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:59 AM

Did you say anything??

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Lol. She seems ok today. Thanks for asking!


Quoting Elyce225:

Lol, at first I was like "Holy crap" haha.  I agree with you completely then.  It's mean, especially to a vulnerable 11 year old girl.  I'm glad you and your DH told her to beat it.  Is she ok today?


Quoting Anonymous:

Children's. Sorry, I should have been more specific. I am 33 and don't wear a 10/12. I would agree that she has weight issues if it was women's sizes.





Quoting Elyce225:

In childrens or womens?  I am 30 and don't wear a size 10/12 in women's jeans.  




Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, it would have still bothered me. We are normally healthy eaters. We don't eat a lot of junk food. Dd would rather have fruit than ice cream or cakes. She does physical activity regularly. She isn't overweight at all. The difference is she is not skin and bones anymore. She used to be tiny. I think she looks healthier now than she did before she added a few pounds. If you you saw her, you wouldn't think she was overweight or chunky. If I thought she was eating unhealthy and being lazy, we would work on it together. I understand what you are saying but her grandmother was just being a bitch. She is 11 and wears a size 10/12 in jeans and shirts.








Quoting Elyce225:

If she said it in a nice way would it have bothered you as much?







You have to be careful with 11 year old girls and how you talk to them. Calling her a porker is probably counter-productive. But, maybe grandma brought it to the table now and you and your DH should talk to her about weight and eating healthy to stay at an appropriate weigh? There are so many young girls who go through puberty and get fat. Their parents don't want to say anything because they don't want to hurt their feelings. I've seen it a million times. I would take this and use it as a learning lesson for your daughter.



















Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:30 AM
of course! I went off and dh made her leave. I would never let anyone talk to my kids like that. My sil (her daughter) went off on her also.

Quoting Pnukey:

Did you say anything??



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Pnukey
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:30 PM

Good! It makes me sad to read people with terrible MIL's that never say anything. I always say something to my MIL, and over the years, I've had to say less and less, because apparently, she learned to stfu.

Quoting Anonymous:

of course! I went off and dh made her leave. I would never let anyone talk to my kids like that. My sil (her daughter) went off on her also.

Quoting Pnukey:

Did you say anything??




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 5:25 PM
I have let things go many times with her but it has been when she was rude to me in the past. Over the last year I have let her know exactly how I feel. When it comes to my kids, I will always stand up for them.


Quoting Pnukey:

Good! It makes me sad to read people with terrible MIL's that never say anything. I always say something to my MIL, and over the years, I've had to say less and less, because apparently, she learned to stfu.

Quoting Anonymous:

of course! I went off and dh made her leave. I would never let anyone talk to my kids like that. My sil (her daughter) went off on her also.


Quoting Pnukey:

Did you say anything??






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