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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

See if I EVER lend you money again!!! UPDATE.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

We stupidly loaned money to my BIL and his wife. They claimed that they had no money for food. They have a little boy (22 months) which is the only reason I agreed to lend them money. I didn't want the poor boy to have to suffer. We talked to them about being more responsible witht their money and told them this is the only time we will lend you money and you must pay it back. I would have rather had them come and work for us for the money but they live too far away. Anyways, they promised they would be more responsible, pay us back as soon as they could, etc. That was back in February. Yes, February. We have asked several times for the repayment. We don't need the money but feel that they should pay it back because that was the agreement. They keep claiming that they can't pay us yet because they don't have enough money. I get on Facebook this morning and see this status update from the wife.

"$463 dollars later and I am finished shopping for _____ (BIL)!!! He's going to love his Christmas gifts!"


They only owed us $150. As I said the amount is not what is bothering me. They made a promise to repay us and apparently are going to break that promise. I wouldn't be near as upset if that money had went toward bills or even their son's Christmas but for BIL, really?!? He is a grown man. Grrrrr!!!!! Vent over.

Yes, I know it was dumb to lend them the money and we are never doing it again. I am assuming they will never pay us back.


Update: Thanks for all the great advice! I didn't say anything to her or BIL about the money. We do $20 sibling gifts in DH's family. For the next eight years they will get a card saying "Merry Christmas! Instead of giving you a gift, we have decided to take $20 off of the debt you owe us!" We are hoping this will prove our point. No more money will be given to them. I would have just bought food for them instead of giving them money in the first place but they live in another state so that wasn't an option. I'll have to update again after Christmas and let you know what their reaction is! ;)

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:40 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:53 AM
2 moms liked this
That is why I don't loan money. What I do now is, if they need "food" I go and buy the food and deliver it. If they are in a different state.. I look to see if there is a delivery service if not I don't do it. (I check before I give an answer, so It won't be a bitchy move when I change my mind) I've only done that twice. And it's worked out :P
CoolRelax
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:55 AM
16 moms liked this

Let it go.  It cost you 150 to learn a valuable lesson and it was worth every penny.  Don't lend money.  If you can afford to give money go ahead, but if you can't afford to give it you can't afford to lend it.  And I'd put in the emotional cost as well because we all know that your situation is what happens when you lend someone money.  You start counting their money for them.  Then anything they do is going to grate on your nerves.  I've been there, I understand.

Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you and your dh are better at managing your money than bil, and don't lend them money again.  I wouldn't put anything on fb, it's tacky and you'll embarrass yourself just as much as bil and his wife.

kellymarie323
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:56 AM
I totally get this. I would also leave a nice sarcastic comment. Its not the money, its the principle.
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3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:58 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I would comment on that post saying, "Is one of those gifts paying us back the $150 you owe us for the time we bought you food for your family"

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HezekiahsMom07
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:58 AM
That's why I don't lend people money!! I'd rather just give it cause thdn I'm irritated every time they say they spent money on something unnecessary.


That staus would have pissed me off! Did you say something to her??
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:59 AM
This!

"The $150 you owe me is included in that total right? Pay up, because I know you got it!!"

Quoting Anonymous:

I would comment on that post saying, "Is one of those gifts paying us back the $150 you owe us for the time we bought you food for your family"

notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:00 AM
2 moms liked this

That is awful. We had to borrow about $1K from SO's brother one time. They are beyond rich and have plenty of cash to float around and we obviously didn't have much of anything. We got out taxes back and paid them back right away.

Tara922c
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:00 AM

This is exactly why I no longer lend people money. If I can afford to help someone out, I will give them the money, but I will not lend it. Same thing happened between my Dh and his brother and it ruined their relationship. Dh loaned the money, the BIL could never pay it back but could afford all sorts of other crap he didn't need. The thing is, if someone owes me 500 and has to pay 500 for rent, who do you think they are going to pay first? I am not defending your BIL, but to him, buying Christmas presents for a 2 year old is way more important than paying you back. The kid is 2, he could have spent 50 bucks and gave the kid a fantastic Christmas! (Memories of my dd opening one present and having NO interest in opening any thing else!)

If I were you, I would call him and ask if he can give you any of the money he owes. If he says "no" cut your losses and NEVER lend him money again.

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:01 AM

I'd be pissed too and wouldn't want them in my life anymore.  

tennisgal
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

while that is certainly irritating, i think the general rule is you don't "lend" money. it's best to say "no" or just gift it (assuming you can afford to lose it). 

if they haven't learned any lesson by now (as adults and parents) then chances are slim that they every will. 

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