Our house burned down and they got killed.
I was 9, he was 8.
I've been having horrible nightmares since, always, ALWAYS about a loved one dying.
Usually family members.
The dreams are very graphic and seem so real...
I went to therapy and I was diagnosed with PTSD.
I don't take anything for it, I have started writing a journal dedicated to my brother though.
Anyway, what I meant to say was, Everytime I DO pray, I have those nightmares ten times worse..
I never pray for myself, if I pray, it's for my family and loved ones, I also don't pray to a certain god, I pray to any god that will listen.
Last night I prayed for close friends that lost someone in their family 2 days before thanksgiving, I prayed that they could find peace and find a way to enjoy the holidays somehow.
In return I had not one but two nightmares.
The first one my daughter drowned...
The second one my son split his skull...
These dreams hurt so bad, I feel like my heart will explode Everytime..
I feel like I am being punished..
I don't know why, I know it's wrong to ever feel this way but I do... :(