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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think I'm being punished by god

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I stopped praying and going to church when my brother & grandma died.
Our house burned down and they got killed.
I was 9, he was 8.
I've been having horrible nightmares since, always, ALWAYS about a loved one dying.
Usually family members.
The dreams are very graphic and seem so real...
I went to therapy and I was diagnosed with PTSD.
I don't take anything for it, I have started writing a journal dedicated to my brother though.
Anyway, what I meant to say was, Everytime I DO pray, I have those nightmares ten times worse..
I never pray for myself, if I pray, it's for my family and loved ones, I also don't pray to a certain god, I pray to any god that will listen.
Last night I prayed for close friends that lost someone in their family 2 days before thanksgiving, I prayed that they could find peace and find a way to enjoy the holidays somehow.
In return I had not one but two nightmares.
The first one my daughter drowned...
The second one my son split his skull...
These dreams hurt so bad, I feel like my heart will explode Everytime..
I feel like I am being punished..
I don't know why, I know it's wrong to ever feel this way but I do... :(
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:48 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Tooth_Inspector
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:51 AM
I don't think the dreams are connected to praying, I just think because you may be more conscious of your fear after praying that you normally get the nightmares causes them. I have the same type of dreams due to a trauma and they come more frequently and graphically with stress or seeing something on television or in a movie that triggers them. Did you see a therapist that specializes in trauma? (EMD)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:52 AM

Sorry for your loss :(

There is no such thing as god, so please don't think you're being punished. There are underlying reasons for your nightmares. Your PTSD probably plays a very big role in that.

Someone you love being killed is extremely traumatic and can have a huge impact on brain development if your brain is still growing. You were just a child.

You should continue therapy, and keep writing. Things will get better in time.... try thinking positively at all times. Negative thoughts can wreak havock on your health and mental state.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I saw a therapist when I was a young teen. I'm not sure what kind it was.
She recommended the journal but I didn't try it until about a year ago.

Quoting Tooth_Inspector:

I don't think the dreams are connected to praying, I just think because you may be more conscious of your fear after praying that you normally get the nightmares causes them. I have the same type of dreams due to a trauma and they come more frequently and graphically with stress or seeing something on television or in a movie that triggers them. Did you see a therapist that specializes in trauma? (EMD)
ButterMeUp
by Butters on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:00 AM

 I don't think god really punishes non believers or prayers. Bad things happen sometimes.

*If you read my post and there are mistakes in my spelling or grammar please note that I never learned either in school and I am currently learning them now. If you see a mistake POLITELY point it out and I'll be more than happy to correct my mistake. Here's a fun little siggy for your enjoyment. *




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:02 AM
See, after they died I started not believing in god, it just seemed so wrong and so unfair.
But I still pray for friends and family, not often though, only when it seems like the right thing to do.
That's why I dont pray to "a" god, I pray to any god.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry for your loss :(

There is no such thing as god, so please don't think you're being punished. There are underlying reasons for your nightmares. Your PTSD probably plays a very big role in that.


Someone you love being killed is extremely traumatic and can have a huge impact on brain development if your brain is still growing. You were just a child.


You should continue therapy, and keep writing. Things will get better in time.... try thinking positively at all times. Negative thoughts can wreak havock on your health and mental state.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:06 AM
I believe there is a God. I also believe God doesn't punish but bad things do happen.

I think you should get some more therapy to help you find some peace.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Yea, maybe you're right.

Quoting Anonymous:

I believe there is a God. I also believe God doesn't punish but bad things do happen.



I think you should get some more therapy to help you find some peace.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Bump..
I'm kind Of miserable
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