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considering seeking ivf and ai behinds his back Edit i talked to him

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies

i want to get pregnant so bad (he does too) but he does not want to do anything he considers "un-natural" we have been trying for more then 2YEARS and i am at the end of my rope. i cant take seeing my family and friends getting pregnant and having their babies and I'm not. so i am going to start fertility testing and going from there on my own

Edit: i talked to him about getting the fertility testing and treatments. he said that he was scared of stuff like this because it had been drilled into his head as a kid that doctors and anything they do are the work of the devil and his workers trying to play god. but he is willing to go with me to the appointments and talk to with and have them explain things to them. and as far as the treatments he said we will see when and if the time comes



Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jillbailey26
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:26 PM

Talk to him about it.  Let him know that since it's not happening his way, you'd like to try it your way (with help).  


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

Mel0dy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:27 PM

I would talk to him about it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:27 PM
I'm sorry your going thru this. I think you should get tested for sure. As far as actual treatment when I was dealing with infertility the clinc I used expected the dh or partner to take an active role so I'm not sure you can do it behind his back
tomary
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:29 PM

im sorry but imo BAD IDEA! If he finds out he might divorse or resent you. I know my husband def would divorse me w/o question. That's a BIG dicision that needs to be made by bith parties. That's just mean if you trick him like that. I want another baby too, my husband does not, we have 3 all girls. ....have you concidered adoption? I know there are lots of kids that need homes.

k1kelley
by Kim on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:33 PM

If you want him to be the natural father, there is no way you can di IVF or AI without his knowledge or consent.

EAzizM
by Erica on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:36 PM
You'd need his sperm to get ivf. Might as well be upfront with him now before you start the process and he won't cooperate.
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ambermario4ever
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:38 PM

I wouldn't do that. If he finds out he will see it as you lying and may not trust you anymore.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:42 PM

i have talked to him about it(adoption) and he said that he wont consider it with having at least one bio child. and if after i have the testing on my end and no issues are shone and i ask him to do the testing to see if anything is wrong with him i am not sure where things between us will go

Quoting tomary:

im sorry but imo BAD IDEA! If he finds out he might divorse or resent you. I know my husband def would divorse me w/o question. That's a BIG dicision that needs to be made by bith parties. That's just mean if you trick him like that. I want another baby too, my husband does not, we have 3 all girls. ....have you concidered adoption? I know there are lots of kids that need homes.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:43 PM

not exactly i can use an anno donor

Quoting EAzizM:

You'd need his sperm to get ivf. Might as well be upfront with him now before you start the process and he won't cooperate.


The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:44 PM

Stupid question, but have you tried charting your ovulation? Just asking because I was pretty much just having sex a lot with no protection and we didn't get pregnant for 2 and a half years. A few months after I started charting ovulation I got pregnant.

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