I would never place a child up for adoption - Edited for explanation as to why
The contents of my uterus are just that, in my uterus and therefore mine.
I have had two abortions. I could never have placed a child up for adoption, and in one instance, I did not want to be pregnant. Therefore, I took care of it.
For me it's just too hard, wondering always wondering, where your child is. I knew as soon as I gave birth, I would resind the offer, to give my child away. And I knew I would change my mind right away. I would break some couple's heart. And ruin my kid's life all at the same time. Abortion was a much better option for me.
And open adoption would have sent me into a suicidal depression. Seeing pictures would have even been worse, so adoption was a no go for me.
When a woman says I cannot have kids, I get that and I am sorry. But it isn't MY fault. I did NOT make you barren. You don't own my uterus, nor can you rent it like you do an apartment or car.
I do think adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it's not for me. I could NEVER go through 9 months of pregnancy and hand a child to someone else. And at the times of my abortions, I could not properly care for a child. No way would I have had a child homeless, but I could never give it away to someone else either.
The first abortion I was young and stupid. We were using condoms and used them everytime, but I guess one broke.
The second time, I was financially stable and engaged. We were trying and had some money saved for a crib and clothing and toys, etc. I found out I was pregnant and we were both excited. Happy. Two weeks later he was hit head on by a drunk driver and killed. He was making a lot more money and without his income I lost the apartment, had no where to go, and the money we saved for the other stuff barely paid for the abortion.
I now have three kids and a wonderful husband so yes I did go on to have children.