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i dont even know who i am

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
Have you ever been in a relationship where it has become so much a part of you tht when its over, you feel like you've lost your identity. That's where I am right now. I've been struggling to realize this for over a year now. The only thing I know about is being a mom but even that is questionable. I take care of the neccesities and that's about it. I don't even have a personality anymore. I try to put one together but I always always find myself trying to get back to who I was with him. This is why I know I'll never be the same. I think I'm permanantly damaged by that relationship and the pain of it. I don't even like thinking about other people (new relationships). I'm always comparing things to him. I have to wonder if anyone else out there has been this damaged by something like this.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:55 AM
You need to walk away from it then. :( Fin yourself before trying to fill the void with someone new. PM me if you need to talk. I've been there, it sucks because you're having the life sucked out of you, or that's what it feels like.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:56 AM
We aren't together anymore and haven't been for a year but I cannot shake these feelings. If anything, instead of getting weaker...the feelings have become stronger.

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

You need to walk away from it then. :( Fin yourself before trying to fill the void with someone new. PM me if you need to talk. I've been there, it sucks because you're having the life sucked out of you, or that's what it feels like.
LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:57 AM
I dont me either. Me and dh are still together, though last month was rough. I miss who i used to be. Ive lost that part of me that gives a shit. Ive thoight about talking to a dr to see if im bipolar or something but idk.
It sucks bc i used to be an awesome mom to my ds. Not that im horrible, but we ised to go out all the time, parks, beach, museum, ect. Now i couldnt care less if i left my house. Im so sad bc im affraid my 2 yr old will never see that side of me.
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Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:59 AM
Sweetheart, seek out counseling. You need it. :(


Quoting Anonymous:

We aren't together anymore and haven't been for a year but I cannot shake these feelings. If anything, instead of getting weaker...the feelings have become stronger.



Quoting Ninjascreenname:

You need to walk away from it then. :( Fin yourself before trying to fill the void with someone new. PM me if you need to talk. I've been there, it sucks because you're having the life sucked out of you, or that's what it feels like.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:00 AM
This exactly..but I have a hard time understanding why I should have to take meds to feel normal. Because something bad/sad happened to me...now I can't feel ok without medicine help?

Quoting LoveMyLos:

I dont me either. Me and dh are still together, though last month was rough. I miss who i used to be. Ive lost that part of me that gives a shit. Ive thoight about talking to a dr to see if im bipolar or something but idk.

It sucks bc i used to be an awesome mom to my ds. Not that im horrible, but we ised to go out all the time, parks, beach, museum, ect. Now i couldnt care less if i left my house. Im so sad bc im affraid my 2 yr old will never see that side of me.
momofqtees
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:01 AM

Yes I had been in a relationship like this.  After years of sleeping with whoever (after the relationship was over) and having two kids by two dads who are deadbeats, I realized my BFF (male lol) was the one for me.  It sucks now, I know, but somehow you will get over it.  Now I thank God that idiot ended it with me, and that I have my wonderful husband.  It does get better.  Just get out and try to do things.  One day you will realize "Hey, I haven't thought about so and so most of the day, yay me".  Then soon after that you will realize "Hey I didn't think about so and so at all today, yay me".  Then you will realize it has been months since you thought of what you lost.  I know it sucks now but it gets better.  hugs

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:03 AM
That's what I did for like the first 6 months. Slept with whoever..just trying to pretend it was all ok. Tried to make reltionships work that were not meant to be. Now, I have NO interest in sleeping with someone, looking at someone. Ugh!

Quoting momofqtees:

Yes I had been in a relationship like this.  After years of sleeping with whoever (after the relationship was over) and having two kids by two dads who are deadbeats, I realized my BFF (male lol) was the one for me.  It sucks now, I know, but somehow you will get over it.  Now I thank God that idiot ended it with me, and that I have my wonderful husband.  It does get better.  Just get out and try to do things.  One day you will realize "Hey, I haven't thought about so and so most of the day, yay me".  Then soon after that you will realize "Hey I didn't think about so and so at all today, yay me".  Then you will realize it has been months since you thought of what you lost.  I know it sucks now but it gets better.  hugs

momofqtees
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:09 AM

Well I would say talking to someone might help.  Maybe a counselor or something.  It doesn't mean you have to get on meds though.  I hope it all works out for you. 

LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:10 AM
No no love. You have depression. Easily "cured". Depending on how bad and how long.
In my case i have been fighting depression since i was young. For me it would take lots of therapy, and medication.
Medication doesnt have to be a life long thing. Just enough time balance you out, ya know? The last time i was on medication i was on it for four months. I stopped it when i started feeling better, and looking at life better and in a dif way.
If you dont want to be on medz, thata fine. But i think at this point you need to at least find something you love to do and throw yourself at it!
Thats where im at right now. Finding something to keep me balanced.


Quoting Anonymous:

This exactly..but I have a hard time understanding why I should have to take meds to feel normal. Because something bad/sad happened to me...now I can't feel ok without medicine help?



Quoting LoveMyLos:

I dont me either. Me and dh are still together, though last month was rough. I miss who i used to be. Ive lost that part of me that gives a shit. Ive thoight about talking to a dr to see if im bipolar or something but idk.


It sucks bc i used to be an awesome mom to my ds. Not that im horrible, but we ised to go out all the time, parks, beach, museum, ect. Now i couldnt care less if i left my house. Im so sad bc im affraid my 2 yr old will never see that side of me.
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malibucj
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:13 AM

I've been separated from my husband for 3 months after 8 years of marriage. Here lately I have been realizing how much I have lost the person I use to be. I realize I turned myself into who I thought he wanted, but then I realize that may be the problem. I changed out of the person he fell in love with. I am slowly working back on getting "me" back.

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