DH is a closet smoker... do I confront him?

[Anonymous]

DH quit back in March. I am so proud of him. The kids are proud. His health has improved. It is wonderful. But... he has been sneaking off to smoke. The car smells of smoke, as does his jacket, etc. Sigh.

Do I let him keep his secret? Do I confront him? I kinda like it, he is so willing to run errands suddenly. I just don't want him to become a regular smoker again. Sigh.

[MamaLub]

He's lyong to you. That's worse

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Not lying, just... hiding. I have never directly asked if he was smoking and he does run the errands.

Quoting MamaLub:

He's lyong to you. That's worse

[AF2011]

I would confront him. 

[divinedimension]

SOrry but you have to confront. Especially if he's doing it in the car because it stinks it all up and is nasty. But mostly because of his health. And the lying..that's just wrong.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

And say what? Offer to get him some nicotene gum to save his health? I don't know :(

Quoting AF2011:

I would confront him. 

[whoopsie16]

dont confront him, because hell start to think its okay to go back to smoking regularily. if anything, tell him how proud of him quitting you are

[Anonymous]

I would let it go. I had a few false starts before I quit for good almost 2 yrs ago. He's not doing it around you or the children so I'd say it's personal choice and he should be entitled to that choice.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

How long would you give the situation to correct itself?

I just feel bad. Our 21 month old has hit the terrible 2s and I know DH is stressed :( I just feel so helpless

Quoting whoopsie16:

dont confront him, because hell start to think its okay to go back to smoking regularily. if anything, tell him how proud of him quitting you are

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

But it does interfere with our life. He gets mad when I stay up too late because he wants me asleep so he can smoke. He denied me sex the other night because he was waiting for me to sleep so he could smoke. Guh. I don't know :(

Quoting Anonymous:

I would let it go. I had a few false starts before I quit for good almost 2 yrs ago. He's not doing it around you or the children so I'd say it's personal choice and he should be entitled to that choice.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line it has to be HIS decision before he's successful at quitting. I know it sucks but until he no longer wants to smoke his addiction will ruin any attempts to quit.

Quoting Anonymous:

But it does interfere with our life. He gets mad when I stay up too late because he wants me asleep so he can smoke. He denied me sex the other night because he was waiting for me to sleep so he could smoke. Guh. I don't know :(

Quoting Anonymous:

I would let it go. I had a few false starts before I quit for good almost 2 yrs ago. He's not doing it around you or the children so I'd say it's personal choice and he should be entitled to that choice.