Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would u stay married if he cheated and now all the money goes 2 his kid?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My husband had an affair and I didn't seek a divorce when I found out. I learned this when the other woman was pregnant.he said she was not going to file for child support. She did.so now out of 3500, a big part goes to his child.he pays about 700. This will go on for another 17 years and now I'm questioning if I want to stay married. It seems that he has seen the child and spent time with them despsite my request not to see him or them.

what do you ladies think?

shall I file for divorce?

we don't have kids so I don't know if I am getting anything out of this?

edit

Im on cafe mom because I was married and had a daughter and my husband and dd died in a car accident.

then I married the man in qquestion also, it is not so much about the child support payments but the fact that he still sees her

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:26 PM
Replies (31-40):
kblossom20
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM
3 moms liked this

How old are you? I would highly consider a divorce. He's going against your wishes to see a kid that was a product of him cheating. I know it's not the child's fault, but it's still inappropriate. You shouldn't have to deal with that! 

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM

I wouldn't stay if he cheated, and a pre-req for a boyfriend was that he have no kids.  Why are you on cm if you're not a mom?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM

I'm sorry.  I could never want a man that badly.  Why did ou take him back?

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh got the ow preggo, left me to live with her for a year or so, we never divorced. They had two kids together, we're back together now.

And we have 50/50 so no cs changes hands.


beerebelly
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM

 It sounds like you are never going to get over the fact that his money now goes to her and that he is seeing the child. Just divorce now and move on. You will be fine.

morisa32
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:44 PM

 

Quoting Mom-2-3-Girlz:

I think I would have filed divorce over the cheating...not over the child or the child support. The child is here now, it is cruel to ask him not to see his child or for the child to grow up without a father (the child didn't do this). But he broke his vows. Divorce him. Don't make it about the child or child support though.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:44 PM

I would divorce him.... but thats just me...I know alot of people would not agree...and I realise the child is the innocent party not asking to be brought into it...but I would not be able to deal with that reminder.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:44 PM
I think you should have left him when you found out he cheated. Since you didn't you need to deal with the child support and the visitation. If I were him I would have left you when you told him not to see his child.
LiliM
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:44 PM

You know what?  As a SM, I get and support being there for your kids when you are not with the mom.

However, my DH had a kid with someone else - I would be the ex, and I would have a CS order on his ass so fast, because I would be damned if someone who was part of wrecking my family was considered legally before my kids, who were born of the legal union.

In most states, she that files first is first legally.  So that is where I would be.

For you, with no kids - does he fulfill you enough to put up with the issues from his cheating, and the OW, and all the legal custody financial shit you have already seen?

If not, I would divorce him.  After 10 years of active legal crap from the ex, all in the name of the kid of course, I would not do this if I didn't have kids, and I had to put up with a kid who was the product of an affair.

While that sounds terrible, I would rather be honest and divorced and out of the merry go round that is custody between two people who are not amiable pretending that all was well.


beerebelly
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:44 PM

 She said she had a daughter that passed. Even still, she is now a step-mom lol

Quoting mom2the.rescue:

I wouldn't stay if he cheated, and a pre-req for a boyfriend was that he have no kids.  Why are you on cm if you're not a mom?

 

jlg12678
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:45 PM

I'd be gone. 

I'm honest enough to know that I would despise my situation and I would want nothing to do with the child (and I know it's not the child's fault). Life is too short to spend it miserable. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured