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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

The Husbands Of Sahms:)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 I have been a proud homemaker for many years.I have seen so much trash talk about sahms on this confession board(from being lazy or uneducated).

My husband is very happy that I am a sahm and have been all these years.He and my kids appreciate all that I do and I have gone to college and had a career.I just prefer to be at home...where I feel happiest:)

If my husband has no problem with me being at home.Why do so many people have a personal issue with it when it is none of their concern?

If you are a sahm how does your husband feel about you being at home?Working moms have you ever discussed being a sahm with your husband?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 25, 2012 at 6:41 AM
Replies (41-50):
etsmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:07 AM

My husband prefers me to be at home because he knows that the best thing for our family is to be there raising our kids. I have go through some college, but after a few health scares we opted that I not return to college until the kids are in full time school. Kindergarten is only half day here and my dd is only 4. She get's a start next year so I only have about a year and a half yet before I can go back. Until then I am satisfied with the direction that we are going.

oceandancer
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:09 AM


Quoting indymom72:

Oh i've done all those things..I live very frugally..make our own laundry soaps, cook from scratch etc...he drag races, so to him 30 dollars is nothing.  When he comes to me and wants 400 dollars he is pissed that I can't give it to him.  He does whatever he wants to do..he goes on drag racing vacations alone 3 or 4 times a year.  He isn't deprived..but to listen to him you would sure think he was.  I appreciate all of your suggestions though..
We start marriage counseling again next week, I hope that will help.  He quit going to the last one because he didn't like hearing that he couldn't be so selfish and have a family.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting indymom72:

It's a touchy subject in my house.  I'm happy at home, but he doesn't fully appreciate what I do, so it's hard. Even though it's best for our children because he's gone so much..he hates it that he can't just burn money whenever he wants.  He is selfish and spoiled..but says he wants to work on it.  We shall see....

I went through this phase with my dh when my kids were smaller.He wasnt always so appreciative of me being at home...and money would be tight at times.Now he adores me and loves me at home.

What I would do in your case is start tallying up all you save with coupons and cutting back.Let him know you saved $30 bucks this week....etc.

Start looking around town for ideas to do for free and things you can do with friends and family.Mainly try doing something special with him at least twice a month.Encourage him to do something he has always wanted to do.Surprise him with a special meal and alone time.Keep a small savings in a jar,all change,it add up:).Also I love this http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/TiaraMom19

 

Plan financial goals together.Show him its not the money its about saving and making special memories.


 

How do you make your own laundry soap?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:10 AM
I work full time. Financially we could not survive on just his income. Even if he made plenty, he would not support me staying home. His mom stopped working & was the poster child for lazy sahms that don't lift a finger except to change the tv channel. He thinks all are either like her or run around on their husbands. He's been propositioned a few times when he has to go do a job at people's houses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:11 AM
I work 4 days a week, we don't discuss me being a SAHM because I hate it. I did it for a little while while preg with my second and then after she was born and I hated it.

I had way too much free time and felt that time could be better spent working. So I filled those hours in with a job and I'm much happier about it. I'm still home for the majority of the day. But DH misses me on Saturdays cause I work all day.

He wishes I coud just work at the same time as him so we could spend our time together, but realistically we can't do that.
kiralyn
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:12 AM
My husband wants me to do whatever makes me happy. He has always told me he doesn't want me to work unless I want to. So for now, I don't.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:15 AM
He wouldn't have married me if I wasn't planning on staying home and raising our children. He wanted kids and he didn't want them raised by daycare. He wanted a wife, not a roommate.
MommyAddie
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:17 AM
I was working and in college when I met him. After we moved on together, he told me quit my job and focus on school (dream come true.) Shortly after graduating and beginning my career, I got pregnant and stopped working. He's been nothing but supportive. He seems proud that he can support our family while I stay home. My sister and another friend were pregnant at the same time I was and he told both their SO's that they needed to restructure their lives to live on only what they (the men) could afford.
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indymom72
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:20 AM

I use this recipe:

  • 1 box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Powder – $3.15
  • 4lb box of Baking Soda – $2.12
  • 1 box Borax – $3.39
  • 3 bars Fels-Naptha –
  • 2 cups of oxy clean
  • Mix all the powders together...grate the3 bars of Fels, either with a cheese grater or I have used the food processor.  Add the grated soap to the powders and mix well..store in an airtight container.  You only  need to use 1 or two TABLESPOONS per load. It's also perfectly safe in HE machines..that's what I have. :)
Quoting oceandancer:

 

Quoting indymom72:

Oh i've done all those things..I live very frugally..make our own laundry soaps, cook from scratch etc...he drag races, so to him 30 dollars is nothing.  When he comes to me and wants 400 dollars he is pissed that I can't give it to him.  He does whatever he wants to do..he goes on drag racing vacations alone 3 or 4 times a year.  He isn't deprived..but to listen to him you would sure think he was.  I appreciate all of your suggestions though..
We start marriage counseling again next week, I hope that will help.  He quit going to the last one because he didn't like hearing that he couldn't be so selfish and have a family.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting indymom72:

It's a touchy subject in my house.  I'm happy at home, but he doesn't fully appreciate what I do, so it's hard. Even though it's best for our children because he's gone so much..he hates it that he can't just burn money whenever he wants.  He is selfish and spoiled..but says he wants to work on it.  We shall see....

I went through this phase with my dh when my kids were smaller.He wasnt always so appreciative of me being at home...and money would be tight at times.Now he adores me and loves me at home.

What I would do in your case is start tallying up all you save with coupons and cutting back.Let him know you saved $30 bucks this week....etc.

Start looking around town for ideas to do for free and things you can do with friends and family.Mainly try doing something special with him at least twice a month.Encourage him to do something he has always wanted to do.Surprise him with a special meal and alone time.Keep a small savings in a jar,all change,it add up:).Also I love this http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/TiaraMom19

 

Plan financial goals together.Show him its not the money its about saving and making special memories.


 

How do you make your own laundry soap?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:22 AM

 Dh knows the cost of daycare, gas, etc... wouldn't be worth me going to work right now, but he wants me to work as soon as it would be financially beneficial for me to do so. He throws it in my face sometimes that I don't work outside the home, like I'm a freeloader or something, which ticks me off because my job is 24/7 and it's exhausting. When he has a day off he naps and plays video games. Which is also what he does when he gets home from work at 5. Do I get to spend all day sleeping and playing video games twice a week, and EVERY day after 5? No way!

boredSAHM
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:24 AM

the way he feels changes from time to time. I am home most of the day but work two jobs two days  a week for a few hours.

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