Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Children at dental office -- don't be with them!! *update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am well educated on this specific subject.

You, a parent, should NOT be in an dental OP with your child at the time treatment is being done!!!!

**I was quite thrilled to see my post be a featured posted in Mom Confessions!**


There are several issues that have been addressed.  I have tried to read as many responses as possible, but I am just too busy to read them all. 

I may decide to post this as an actual update. 

1.  When I say "dental treatment."  It's specifically speaking in regards to procedures that are defined as restorative and surgical.  I do not mean x-rays, cleanings, fluoride, etc.  These are preventative.  These are procedures, but not treatment.  An exam is not treatment.  

2.  I said that a parent should not be in the room during treatment.  Did I say that a parent should never be in the room at any point in time?  That a parent shouldn't walk a child to a dental chair?  Did I say that I parent shouldn't observe from a distance?  It's the presence and specifically known presence of the parent within the small confines of a dental op when the dentist is doing treatment.  I never said a parent shouldn't speak with a dentist regarding the treatment.  That the parent shouldn't communicate with the dentist about the child's oral health.  A dentist is also not a stranger to the child.  A dentist should be a friend.  If the child is small, then the he or she should see the dentist for other non-treatment reasons prior to the appointment for treatment.

2(a).  DENTAL TREATMENT PLANS.  I suspect everyone discuses in detail what treatment is, and specific procedures that have to be done prior to the dentist performing ANY procedure?  Don't you know how many x-rays are going to be taken?  What fluoride, if any, is to be used?  Don't you know if the dentist will look in the child's mouth?  Wouldn't you ask or know exactly what filling, or cap, or surgical procedures is going to be done and on exactly what tooth?  If you do not then that is where a parenting is failing.  Don't you know what kind of anesthesia would be used, if any?  How much or for how long?  Don't discuss the different options?  These have nothing to do with being present at the child's side during the actual undergoing of treatment.  

2(b).  OBSERVATION.  I can only speak of my prior offices, and that of my colleagues.  However, the door to which the child is behind.  The door to the treatment room, has a significant size glass window.  The parent is welcome at any point in time to look through the glass window and check how their child is doing.  If they are crying, upset, confused.  Also you can double check to make sure your child is being treated the way you deem necessary. 

3.  An assumption I made is that parents would be responsible enough to take their children to respectful dental offices, and be seen by a respectable dentist.  I didn't realize people would allow their children to be seen at big clinics, non-doctor own practices ... etc.  

4.  Many parents on here are telling "their" stories.  That is completely fine.  I have heard worse, much worse, than anyone has shared.  I am also under the impression that most women are at least 20 years old.  Which means you are telling a dental story from 10-15 years ago.  A LOT has changed in the profession since that time.  Science has changed in the profession since that time.  That specifically references a lot of the stories about not being numb.  That didn't necessarily happen to you because your dentist was awful.  Rather, anesthesia wasn't the same 10-15 years ago.  The reaction of anesthesia was dramatically different.  Guidelines of standard of care, dental practice, and professional relations have changed.  Dentist are now can have their license revoked by the dental board.  Dentist can face legal consequences of their actions.  This has changed the dentist in the and the over all field of dental medicine. 

5.  There are several procedures that have been up such as "papoosing" a child.  Again, the papoose board is something dentist use to restrain a child.  However, it is a dramatic option, and other restraints, which are much more minimal can be an option. Also, dentists do not want to restrain children.  Typically it's an option for the parent if they want to proceed with dental treatment and not have their child under full sedation in a hospital.  It's a weighing of risk factors.

6.  Many women spoke children that have impairments or special needs.  Maybe I should have put a disclaimer on my statement.  However, I wasn't speaking of children they may need extra care.  If you do have a child that is within the impairment guidelines, (which is very relaxed and different than definition of "special needs"), I would suggest seeing a dentist that treats specifically those children. They have extra education to properly give your child the best care.  


Yes, I realize there are many grammar and spelling errors.  However, I just typed this up 5 minutes before I go into a meeting and don't have the time to back through to correct them all.  Just deal. 

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:40 AM

No reason I can't be.  My kids do just fine at the dentist. 

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:41 AM
Umm why?? I'm still pregnant but I will be in the room with my son until he is old enough to advocate for himself. I would've been a mess if my mom wasn't in the room with me. She kept me calm in a scary situation, until I was like 12. Lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:41 AM
6 moms liked this

At my children's dental office they have a window that you can watch your children getting their dental work done. I would NOT allow them to go to a dentist who did NOT have this window!

I took my son to an orthodontist who does NOT allow parents back while their child is having their orthodontal work done!! I said OH HELL NO!!! I take him to a different orthodontist and I am TOTALLY invited back to watch what they are doing!! I am PAYING for his treatment, you better believe I WILL be back there with him!!! Their staff is SO AWESOME!!

by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol, my kids dentist is fantastic and he invites parents in. Guess what?? My kids have zero issues. He told me most of children's fears is because of bad staff!!!
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:42 AM
6 moms liked this

EFF you, I'm going in there, regardless. The one time I didn't, my oldest child (who has a high tolerance for pain) was screaming his head off so I burst through the doors to inquire. Turns out they missed the nerve on his root canal. They told him he was simply having anxiety and needed to "work through it". FUCK THAT. It doesn't take much to give a child an extra lidocaine shot and for some reason it's always a fight to get them to do it. I know my kids. Generally speaking, if a child says he is in pain, just give him another dose of lidocaine, how fucking hard can it be. And an extra fuck you for telling me what to do as a parent when it comes to my childrens' medical experiences.

by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:42 AM
4 moms liked this
Shut up
Ive worked for a dental office and i say there are many responsible dentist that allow it

Obviously your office is not one of them
Well educated my ass
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:43 AM

Yeah right, my child was scared, no way I would have let her go in alone.  She was fine once she knew what they were gonna do, but she needed my reassurance that no one would harm her.  Sorry but a child is not going to believe a total stranger.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:43 AM
4 moms liked this

This. And I'm going to add that usually the people who start off with the words "I'm educated on this topic" usually are the ones who are NOT educated on the topic and it's more they think their opinion is right and everyone elses is wrong. Just saying.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then I'll find another office, because I'm staying with my child, no matte what. 

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Daisypath Wedding tickers
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:44 AM
2 moms liked this
LOTS of reasons.

I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.

Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.

I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.

This is just a few!

Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:44 AM
6 moms liked this

I don't care what kind of education you do or don't have on this subject.  I will make the decision on whether or not to be with my child in the office.  We will always choose to have at least one parent in the office with our children.

We don't patronize doctors or dentists who don't support our desires.  We simply spend our money elsewhere.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)