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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Children at dental office -- don't be with them!! *update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am well educated on this specific subject.

You, a parent, should NOT be in an dental OP with your child at the time treatment is being done!!!!


**I was quite thrilled to see my post be a featured posted in Mom Confessions!**

Update


There are several issues that have been addressed.  I have tried to read as many responses as possible, but I am just too busy to read them all. 

I may decide to post this as an actual update. 

1.  When I say "dental treatment."  It's specifically speaking in regards to procedures that are defined as restorative and surgical.  I do not mean x-rays, cleanings, fluoride, etc.  These are preventative.  These are procedures, but not treatment.  An exam is not treatment.  

2.  I said that a parent should not be in the room during treatment.  Did I say that a parent should never be in the room at any point in time?  That a parent shouldn't walk a child to a dental chair?  Did I say that I parent shouldn't observe from a distance?  It's the presence and specifically known presence of the parent within the small confines of a dental op when the dentist is doing treatment.  I never said a parent shouldn't speak with a dentist regarding the treatment.  That the parent shouldn't communicate with the dentist about the child's oral health.  A dentist is also not a stranger to the child.  A dentist should be a friend.  If the child is small, then the he or she should see the dentist for other non-treatment reasons prior to the appointment for treatment.

2(a).  DENTAL TREATMENT PLANS.  I suspect everyone discuses in detail what treatment is, and specific procedures that have to be done prior to the dentist performing ANY procedure?  Don't you know how many x-rays are going to be taken?  What fluoride, if any, is to be used?  Don't you know if the dentist will look in the child's mouth?  Wouldn't you ask or know exactly what filling, or cap, or surgical procedures is going to be done and on exactly what tooth?  If you do not then that is where a parenting is failing.  Don't you know what kind of anesthesia would be used, if any?  How much or for how long?  Don't discuss the different options?  These have nothing to do with being present at the child's side during the actual undergoing of treatment.  

2(b).  OBSERVATION.  I can only speak of my prior offices, and that of my colleagues.  However, the door to which the child is behind.  The door to the treatment room, has a significant size glass window.  The parent is welcome at any point in time to look through the glass window and check how their child is doing.  If they are crying, upset, confused.  Also you can double check to make sure your child is being treated the way you deem necessary. 

3.  An assumption I made is that parents would be responsible enough to take their children to respectful dental offices, and be seen by a respectable dentist.  I didn't realize people would allow their children to be seen at big clinics, non-doctor own practices ... etc.  

4.  Many parents on here are telling "their" stories.  That is completely fine.  I have heard worse, much worse, than anyone has shared.  I am also under the impression that most women are at least 20 years old.  Which means you are telling a dental story from 10-15 years ago.  A LOT has changed in the profession since that time.  Science has changed in the profession since that time.  That specifically references a lot of the stories about not being numb.  That didn't necessarily happen to you because your dentist was awful.  Rather, anesthesia wasn't the same 10-15 years ago.  The reaction of anesthesia was dramatically different.  Guidelines of standard of care, dental practice, and professional relations have changed.  Dentist are now can have their license revoked by the dental board.  Dentist can face legal consequences of their actions.  This has changed the dentist in the and the over all field of dental medicine. 

5.  There are several procedures that have been up such as "papoosing" a child.  Again, the papoose board is something dentist use to restrain a child.  However, it is a dramatic option, and other restraints, which are much more minimal can be an option. Also, dentists do not want to restrain children.  Typically it's an option for the parent if they want to proceed with dental treatment and not have their child under full sedation in a hospital.  It's a weighing of risk factors.

6.  Many women spoke children that have impairments or special needs.  Maybe I should have put a disclaimer on my statement.  However, I wasn't speaking of children they may need extra care.  If you do have a child that is within the impairment guidelines, (which is very relaxed and different than definition of "special needs"), I would suggest seeing a dentist that treats specifically those children. They have extra education to properly give your child the best care.  

 

Yes, I realize there are many grammar and spelling errors.  However, I just typed this up 5 minutes before I go into a meeting and don't have the time to back through to correct them all.  Just deal. 


Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Replies (21-30):
CrimsonRose01
by ~Cassandra~ on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:45 AM

How old are you talking about? Because my dentist insists that I be back with my son (which I would be anyway) who's 2. I think they'd rather have a calm toddler who's mother is back there with him than a screaming, crying one because mom isn't back there with him. 

ChickenTheChina
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:45 AM
My mom was never allowed in with me, and I hated it. My daughter's dentist allows me to come in for my oldest child, but not my younger one. I'm not sure why. He always says ''okay, this time you can, but next time you need to stay out there.'' I don't understand why it's such a big deal.
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NicholasMama608
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:45 AM

Sorry but I'll stay with my 4 1/2yr old who is scared of DRs, has SPD, OCD, and verbal delays, and has had surgery more than 4 times since he was 18months old because of chronic health problems.  I'm not going to leave him alone with someone he's scared of because some people think I should.  He's had the same Pedi since he was 6 months old and even now he won't always let the DR touch him or look at him and it takes 3-4 nurses plus me to hold him down to get shots or blood drawn.

mestiza_07
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:46 AM
Why not?!? Its no different then going into a doctors oFfice. I'm sorry but until my children are old enough I will be with my child. First dental experience my 4 yo went to was traumatic for him, so we have to switch dentist. So mind your own business!
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thetrollcat
by Meow on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:46 AM

Im a shitty mom

Pink.Frosting
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:46 AM

I can see both sides of this but I have to end up on the side of the parent.  I have a child that has had many medical issues for years. I know some doctor's offices won't let parents back with their child past the age of 12.  I also know for a fact that if I had not been in all of my daughter's appointments when she was 12 and up - there is no way under the sun that those doctors could have gotten an accurate explanation of what was going on with her.  She didn't have the maturity to explain to them symptoms, when they started, how long they've been going on.  Those doctors would have gotten a half picture at best.  I can definitely see the same thing going on with a dentist.

So, if you work in a dentist office you might feel like you know best and the parents shouldn't be back there.  But there are scores of parents who are going to roll their eyes at that assumption and take their business elsewhere. 

Hannahluvsdogs
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:47 AM
5 moms liked this

Your poor grammar makes me seriously doubt your level of education.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.

I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.

Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.

I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.

This is just a few!


Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:48 AM
I never said offices don't allow it. Many do. They know its not the "right" thing but they get tired of fighting with parents about it. So they make protocols and set up the treatment in such away that allows the parent to be there. Also, dentistry is a business, an many dentist hate to see business walk out the door because of this.

By educated. I did not mean I am a dental assistant. I was an office owner, and now I am a consultant while going to school to specifically study health law in relation to the practice of dental medicine. Myself and colleagues have proctored and read many studies that look at this very thing.


Quoting SnapIt:

Shut up

Ive worked for a dental office and i say there are many responsible dentist that allow it



Obviously your office is not one of them

Well educated my ass

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:48 AM
2 moms liked this

There is no way in HELL I will let my child, who can't express himself in words, be treated in ANY type of medical office without my being there. We go to a Pediatric Dentist and they welcome parents back there. They even let my little guy sit in the chair right next to his big sister and watch what they are doing on her before they work on him.

I actually left a dental office once when they refused to let me back there with my then two year old, non-verbal son.

bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:49 AM
My son's dentist is a 75 year old army dentist. He doesn't give a rats ass if I'm there or not. My son won't go back alone and I don't stare at the dentist. I read my book unless he wants me to look at something. I'm back there so that he doesn't have to walk hos old ass up front to get me when he needs the go ahead to do something, to look up and smile encouragingly at my son when he needs it and to make sure that he doesn't play with the water squirter when they leave the room.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.



I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.



Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.



I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.



This is just a few!




Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?

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