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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Children at dental office -- don't be with them!! *update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am well educated on this specific subject.

You, a parent, should NOT be in an dental OP with your child at the time treatment is being done!!!!


**I was quite thrilled to see my post be a featured posted in Mom Confessions!**

Update


There are several issues that have been addressed.  I have tried to read as many responses as possible, but I am just too busy to read them all. 

I may decide to post this as an actual update. 

1.  When I say "dental treatment."  It's specifically speaking in regards to procedures that are defined as restorative and surgical.  I do not mean x-rays, cleanings, fluoride, etc.  These are preventative.  These are procedures, but not treatment.  An exam is not treatment.  

2.  I said that a parent should not be in the room during treatment.  Did I say that a parent should never be in the room at any point in time?  That a parent shouldn't walk a child to a dental chair?  Did I say that I parent shouldn't observe from a distance?  It's the presence and specifically known presence of the parent within the small confines of a dental op when the dentist is doing treatment.  I never said a parent shouldn't speak with a dentist regarding the treatment.  That the parent shouldn't communicate with the dentist about the child's oral health.  A dentist is also not a stranger to the child.  A dentist should be a friend.  If the child is small, then the he or she should see the dentist for other non-treatment reasons prior to the appointment for treatment.

2(a).  DENTAL TREATMENT PLANS.  I suspect everyone discuses in detail what treatment is, and specific procedures that have to be done prior to the dentist performing ANY procedure?  Don't you know how many x-rays are going to be taken?  What fluoride, if any, is to be used?  Don't you know if the dentist will look in the child's mouth?  Wouldn't you ask or know exactly what filling, or cap, or surgical procedures is going to be done and on exactly what tooth?  If you do not then that is where a parenting is failing.  Don't you know what kind of anesthesia would be used, if any?  How much or for how long?  Don't discuss the different options?  These have nothing to do with being present at the child's side during the actual undergoing of treatment.  

2(b).  OBSERVATION.  I can only speak of my prior offices, and that of my colleagues.  However, the door to which the child is behind.  The door to the treatment room, has a significant size glass window.  The parent is welcome at any point in time to look through the glass window and check how their child is doing.  If they are crying, upset, confused.  Also you can double check to make sure your child is being treated the way you deem necessary. 

3.  An assumption I made is that parents would be responsible enough to take their children to respectful dental offices, and be seen by a respectable dentist.  I didn't realize people would allow their children to be seen at big clinics, non-doctor own practices ... etc.  

4.  Many parents on here are telling "their" stories.  That is completely fine.  I have heard worse, much worse, than anyone has shared.  I am also under the impression that most women are at least 20 years old.  Which means you are telling a dental story from 10-15 years ago.  A LOT has changed in the profession since that time.  Science has changed in the profession since that time.  That specifically references a lot of the stories about not being numb.  That didn't necessarily happen to you because your dentist was awful.  Rather, anesthesia wasn't the same 10-15 years ago.  The reaction of anesthesia was dramatically different.  Guidelines of standard of care, dental practice, and professional relations have changed.  Dentist are now can have their license revoked by the dental board.  Dentist can face legal consequences of their actions.  This has changed the dentist in the and the over all field of dental medicine. 

5.  There are several procedures that have been up such as "papoosing" a child.  Again, the papoose board is something dentist use to restrain a child.  However, it is a dramatic option, and other restraints, which are much more minimal can be an option. Also, dentists do not want to restrain children.  Typically it's an option for the parent if they want to proceed with dental treatment and not have their child under full sedation in a hospital.  It's a weighing of risk factors.

6.  Many women spoke children that have impairments or special needs.  Maybe I should have put a disclaimer on my statement.  However, I wasn't speaking of children they may need extra care.  If you do have a child that is within the impairment guidelines, (which is very relaxed and different than definition of "special needs"), I would suggest seeing a dentist that treats specifically those children. They have extra education to properly give your child the best care.  

 

Yes, I realize there are many grammar and spelling errors.  However, I just typed this up 5 minutes before I go into a meeting and don't have the time to back through to correct them all.  Just deal. 


Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Replies (31-40):
3_girls_86
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:50 AM
I go in with my kids every time they go to the dentist. I don't care of they done like it. they're my kid and I choose of I go in or not.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.



I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.



Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.



I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.



This is just a few!




Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?

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NicholasMama608
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:50 AM

So do you allow your children in back with the pediatrician alone?

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.

I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.

Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.

I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.

This is just a few!


Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?


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CrimsonRose01
by ~Cassandra~ on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:50 AM

When I was a kid, I had to have 4 teeth pulled so I could get braces, because my teeth were crowded so bad. The dentist wouldn't allow my parents back there with me, so they stayed in the waiting room. The dentist gave me novocaine, and told me that if it hurt when he started pulling my teeth, to hold up my finger and he'd give me another shot of it. The first tooth he pulled, hurt like hell, and I did what I was told, and held my finger up. He said to me "Oh, it's supposed to hurt a little bit." Since when is it supposed to hurt when they've numbed you? He refused to give me anymore. By the time he got to my third tooth, I was screaming in pain, and he still refused to give me more. My parents heard me in the waiting room and demanded to know what was going on. The dentist told them it was nothing. I told my dad what had happened, he was seriously pissed off. That was the last time my parents ever let a dentist tell them they couldn't be back there with me. 

Quoting Anonymous:

EFF you, I'm going in there, regardless. The one time I didn't, my oldest child (who has a high tolerance for pain) was screaming his head off so I burst through the doors to inquire. Turns out they missed the nerve on his root canal. They told him he was simply having anxiety and needed to "work through it". FUCK THAT. It doesn't take much to give a child an extra lidocaine shot and for some reason it's always a fight to get them to do it. I know my kids. Generally speaking, if a child says he is in pain, just give him another dose of lidocaine, how fucking hard can it be. And an extra fuck you for telling me what to do as a parent when it comes to my childrens' medical experiences.


mommaboudreaux
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:51 AM

My son is high functioning autism, the dentist is extremely stressful and traumatic for him.  I would never, ever NOT be with him!!  Even if he didn't have autsim I would NOT allow him to be alone.


If any dentist or other medical professional for that matter said I could not be with my child we would be going elsewhere.  That to me just is not right and honestly raises some red flags.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:51 AM
Sorry. I am actually on my phone...and partially using Siri. Don't grade my spelling or grammar. It's also almost 2 am and I am sitting here on cafemom because I can't sleep.

I am educated. Currently working towards my JD in health law, specifically in relation to dental medicine. I owned a dental office prior, and my SO was a dentist (until he decides to continue his education).


Quoting Hannahluvsdogs:

Your poor grammar makes me seriously doubt your level of education.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.



I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.



Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.



I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.



This is just a few!





Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?




melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:51 AM

My question is, why does a dentist want to be alone with my child?  Sounds kinda strange to me. 

haunted.mommy
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:52 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Then I'll find another office, because I'm staying with my child, no matte what. 


Sparklee.com - http://www.sparklee.com



Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:53 AM
That is odd. My kids go to a ped dentist and my almost three year old still gets her exams by the lap to lap way and my 6 year old sits in the big room while I sit against the wall. That seems to be working fine, but then again I'm the "oh stop your fine" kind of mom.

My step mom works in an oral surgeons office and usually takes my kids to get their xrays with her and they do fine with her.
rvb146
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:53 AM
Exactly. Its a business. If they want to keep business with a parent who wants to watch, then they will let them watch.
I could care less about the dentist's feelings when someone is watching them. The patient is more important.


Quoting Anonymous:

I never said offices don't allow it. Many do. They know its not the "right" thing but they get tired of fighting with parents about it. So they make protocols and set up the treatment in such away that allows the parent to be there. Also, dentistry is a business, an many dentist hate to see business walk out the door because of this.



By educated. I did not mean I am a dental assistant. I was an office owner, and now I am a consultant while going to school to specifically study health law in relation to the practice of dental medicine. Myself and colleagues have proctored and read many studies that look at this very thing.




Quoting SnapIt:

Shut up


Ive worked for a dental office and i say there are many responsible dentist that allow it





Obviously your office is not one of them


Well educated my ass


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ack86
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:54 AM
We're great friends with our dentist, and everyone in the office. When we're there, the kids help with cleaning the waiting room while they wait for their turn to go in. They've only ever needed a cleaning, so it's never been an issue with me being in their or not. The room they go in is right next to the waiting room anyway.
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