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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Children at dental office -- don't be with them!! *update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am well educated on this specific subject.

You, a parent, should NOT be in an dental OP with your child at the time treatment is being done!!!!


**I was quite thrilled to see my post be a featured posted in Mom Confessions!**

Update


There are several issues that have been addressed.  I have tried to read as many responses as possible, but I am just too busy to read them all. 

I may decide to post this as an actual update. 

1.  When I say "dental treatment."  It's specifically speaking in regards to procedures that are defined as restorative and surgical.  I do not mean x-rays, cleanings, fluoride, etc.  These are preventative.  These are procedures, but not treatment.  An exam is not treatment.  

2.  I said that a parent should not be in the room during treatment.  Did I say that a parent should never be in the room at any point in time?  That a parent shouldn't walk a child to a dental chair?  Did I say that I parent shouldn't observe from a distance?  It's the presence and specifically known presence of the parent within the small confines of a dental op when the dentist is doing treatment.  I never said a parent shouldn't speak with a dentist regarding the treatment.  That the parent shouldn't communicate with the dentist about the child's oral health.  A dentist is also not a stranger to the child.  A dentist should be a friend.  If the child is small, then the he or she should see the dentist for other non-treatment reasons prior to the appointment for treatment.

2(a).  DENTAL TREATMENT PLANS.  I suspect everyone discuses in detail what treatment is, and specific procedures that have to be done prior to the dentist performing ANY procedure?  Don't you know how many x-rays are going to be taken?  What fluoride, if any, is to be used?  Don't you know if the dentist will look in the child's mouth?  Wouldn't you ask or know exactly what filling, or cap, or surgical procedures is going to be done and on exactly what tooth?  If you do not then that is where a parenting is failing.  Don't you know what kind of anesthesia would be used, if any?  How much or for how long?  Don't discuss the different options?  These have nothing to do with being present at the child's side during the actual undergoing of treatment.  

2(b).  OBSERVATION.  I can only speak of my prior offices, and that of my colleagues.  However, the door to which the child is behind.  The door to the treatment room, has a significant size glass window.  The parent is welcome at any point in time to look through the glass window and check how their child is doing.  If they are crying, upset, confused.  Also you can double check to make sure your child is being treated the way you deem necessary. 

3.  An assumption I made is that parents would be responsible enough to take their children to respectful dental offices, and be seen by a respectable dentist.  I didn't realize people would allow their children to be seen at big clinics, non-doctor own practices ... etc.  

4.  Many parents on here are telling "their" stories.  That is completely fine.  I have heard worse, much worse, than anyone has shared.  I am also under the impression that most women are at least 20 years old.  Which means you are telling a dental story from 10-15 years ago.  A LOT has changed in the profession since that time.  Science has changed in the profession since that time.  That specifically references a lot of the stories about not being numb.  That didn't necessarily happen to you because your dentist was awful.  Rather, anesthesia wasn't the same 10-15 years ago.  The reaction of anesthesia was dramatically different.  Guidelines of standard of care, dental practice, and professional relations have changed.  Dentist are now can have their license revoked by the dental board.  Dentist can face legal consequences of their actions.  This has changed the dentist in the and the over all field of dental medicine. 

5.  There are several procedures that have been up such as "papoosing" a child.  Again, the papoose board is something dentist use to restrain a child.  However, it is a dramatic option, and other restraints, which are much more minimal can be an option. Also, dentists do not want to restrain children.  Typically it's an option for the parent if they want to proceed with dental treatment and not have their child under full sedation in a hospital.  It's a weighing of risk factors.

6.  Many women spoke children that have impairments or special needs.  Maybe I should have put a disclaimer on my statement.  However, I wasn't speaking of children they may need extra care.  If you do have a child that is within the impairment guidelines, (which is very relaxed and different than definition of "special needs"), I would suggest seeing a dentist that treats specifically those children. They have extra education to properly give your child the best care.  

 

Yes, I realize there are many grammar and spelling errors.  However, I just typed this up 5 minutes before I go into a meeting and don't have the time to back through to correct them all.  Just deal. 


Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:55 AM
Yes. I have. Especially if they are conducting the hearing or eye screenings. I also have found my oldest (4 y/o) does much better with shots if I am not present.


Quoting NicholasMama608:

So do you allow your children in back with the pediatrician alone?

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.



I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.



Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.



I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.



This is just a few!





Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?




egbkeb
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:55 AM
You people make so much out of nothing. Smh
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:56 AM
Did you know statistically more things "go wrong" when the parent is present than when the parent is absent?

It's more than just like it or not!? It's truly better!!


Quoting 3_girls_86:

I go in with my kids every time they go to the dentist. I don't care of they done like it. they're my kid and I choose of I go in or not.



Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.





I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.





Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.





I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.





This is just a few!






Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?


ChickenTheChina
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:57 AM
My daughters' dentist said one time after an appointment, ''she did a really good job, one of the best patients I've ever had. You did a good job too, Mom. We don't like parents in here because they cause anxiety in the child by telling them 'it's going to be okay'' making the child presume they're going to be in a scary situayion, and they confuse the child by telling them to do one thing while we're telling them to do another. But you did a really good job, just standing back and observing.'' That was with my oldest, so he let's me back there with her. But for some reason, he doesn't like me back there with my youngest. I HAVE to be with her though, because she is extremely overwhelmed around people other than close family. Her first dentist appointment, they tried showing her that ''the chair isn't scary at all'' by making it go up and down, forward and backward while she was sitting in it, and that didn't go over too well, which I knew it wouldn't. Had I not been back there, they would've thought she was having a mental breakdown or something, but I explained to the nurse how she couldn't even ride on the Merry Go Round at carnivals, I can't even lift her 2 feet off the ground without her freaking out. They still insisted I stay in the waiting area at her next appointment. Thing is, they're making it harder on themselves. She's at ease with me, and if she knows she won't have me back there, she'll freak. They'll see...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
philly_mom
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:58 AM
2 moms liked this

You're*, Etc.*, staring*, are*...

Studies are based on a concentrated study, and the findings are based on what the majority experiences.  However, in most cases the exact numbers are not published, so we can't always be certain of how high a number the majority is.

Any doctor will tell you that statistics mean nothing to the patient, whether it is about a diagnostic prognosis or the reaction of an individual to a procedure or diagnosis.  It should be up to the parent to judge whether or not they are needed to help keep their child calm, as the parents are the only ones who truly know their children.  Also, from a fiscal standpoint, it would be completely stupid not to let the parents come back with their children, as parents are more likely to return as customers if they are pleased with their patient care and options.

Please, do not portray yourself as someone who is "very educated" about a subject when you are not willing to educate yourself on variables and inconsistencies related to your subject matter.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.

I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.

Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.

I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.

This is just a few!


Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:58 AM
To do their job!!! Lol!

The child is much more cooperative. It allows the dentist to focus in giving your child the best treatment. That's why!? What's so odd about that?


Quoting melakay1981:

My question is, why does a dentist want to be alone with my child?  Sounds kinda strange to me. 


doulala
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Better is an opinion.

What goes wrong?   Like physical stuff?
    it's worth it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Did you know statistically more things "go wrong" when the parent is present than when the parent is absent?

It's more than just like it or not!? It's truly better!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I allowed my child to go back by herself...because that is what the dentist requested. Then I heard a SCREAM and I ran through the doors. I knew it was my dd. I found ONE dental assistant holding her feet down and ANOTHER laying across her chest holding her arms down. My dd was just having one tooth filled. The DENTIST is holding her face with one hand and drilling with the other! The look on their face was priceless when they seen me! They all jumped off and backed away from her! I started yelling! The dentist tried to tell me children can tolerate pain, therefore he did not numb her or give her gas. I did not pay for that visit and I have never taken her back! It was terrifying for my dd and me!
THIS IS WHY I WILL NEVER ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO GO INTO ANY EXAM ROOM BY THEMSELVES EVER AGAIN! If I am not allowed to go back, they will not be seen there. I will find another dentist/doctor!
Aleta775
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:59 AM

My dd has a hard time at the dentist. I have no idea why. She is great when going to any other kind of appointment. I have had to take her to her pedi, an allergist, an orthopedist, and an optomotrist. With the numerous appointments we have had, she got nervous about the dentist. I told her that it would be just like going to see any other doctor except he would be looking at her teeth, but that didn't matter. She freaked out in the lobby before we even got her in the back to be examined. I took her to a pediatrict dentist and he was so nice. He told me that I could be back there with her. I let her sit on my lap while they did her x-ray, and I sat on a stool beside of her while they cleaned her teeth. I didn't coddle her, and I didn't hold her hand. I wasn't nervous. I knew it was just something that needed to be done like everything else. It actually worked out great and she was good the whole time. She just needed to get over the initial fear of what was going to happen, and felt better with me being there. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I never said offices don't allow it. Many do. They know its not the "right" thing but they get tired of fighting with parents about it. So they make protocols and set up the treatment in such away that allows the parent to be there. Also, dentistry is a business, an many dentist hate to see business walk out the door because of this.

By educated. I did not mean I am a dental assistant. I was an office owner, and now I am a consultant while going to school to specifically study health law in relation to the practice of dental medicine. Myself and colleagues have proctored and read many studies that look at this very thing.


Quoting SnapIt:

Shut up

Ive worked for a dental office and i say there are many responsible dentist that allow it



Obviously your office is not one of them

Well educated my ass

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this

You really need to re-evaluate your parenting strategies. I can't imagine leaving my four year old alone to get shots...

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. I have. Especially if they are conducting the hearing or eye screenings. I also have found my oldest (4 y/o) does much better with shots if I am not present.


Quoting NicholasMama608:

So do you allow your children in back with the pediatrician alone?

Quoting Anonymous:

LOTS of reasons.



I think the most logical reason is that the child is better for the doctor when the parents isn't around. This is statistically studied and proven. So I do not want to hear .. BUT MY CHILD. Trust me your BUT MY CHILD is less cooperative when your there.



Having the parent there raises the anxiety level of the child. Again. This is actually studied and proven. The child is more anxious and nervous when mommy (or daddy) is hold their hand. They start worrying about if they are okay, what your seeing, how you think they are doing ... Ect.



I hate to say this. BUT, the dentist is a lot more comfortable when your not there. Could you imagine doing delicate work while someone is starring at you... The dentist also has to "manage" the parent. So all the talking, moving, and such the dentist does for you, is taking away from the child's management. The dentist is trained on how to manage the child to ease their anxiousness, or tenseness. But they can't if they are worried at doing that for the parent.



This is just a few!





Quoting 3_girls_86:

Why not?





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