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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He's 30yrs Older Than Me!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

This is the only time I'll ever post anonymously.

There is a man, I've known him for quite some time now, I know how his brain works, I know his insecurities, I also know his great points. He fell in love with me, and it didn't take long for me to share his feelings. There happens to be a serious problem though! He's 48 and I'm 19.

It sounds bad, like sugar daddy type bad, but in reality our personalities are on the same maturity level. Recently I moved back interstate to live with my dad, because things were becoming ridiculously hard in my home town, only problem with that, is I left him behind.

He's tried to move on, but it's not working for either of us, and he is actually a really good looking fellow.
So this is the message I received from him today;

I want you to seriously think about this before you call, I want you with me. If I stop gambling I can save about $400 - $500 a week. When I have enough to fly you back we can live together, we share everything. If you're happy after a couple of months, I'll ask you to marry me. I am very serious, even to the point of helping you get custody. I truly love you.

P.S I don't mean live in a shitty room, temporarily in the motel section till we find a house or unit for us, would also need a car. I want do much to try this.

So I'm at a loss. I really do love him and know that he really will do all he says for me, but it means going behind my dads back, avoiding getting a job down here and pissing off to the other state.

I just really need some suggestions. Feel free to ask questions also.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NBean311
by Chivette on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:19 AM

BUMP!

Cbreland07
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:20 AM
Wait are you fighting for custody of your child? If so is getting a job a requirement to get custody?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:21 AM


Quoting Cbreland07:

Wait are you fighting for custody of your child? If so is getting a job a requirement to get custody?


Yes, the fight hasn't gone to court yet, but it will once I have some financial backing to do so. Getting a job is NOT a requirement, it would just simply make things easier financially. Unless of course I go back to this other state to be with this man.

LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:25 AM
My dh is 30 yrs older than me. All i can say is, really really think it through. We have been together 4 years, married two and a 2 yr old together. I have a 7 yr old from a previous.

We love each other. The problem is, he is set in his ways. You cannot change a man. Old dog, new tricks....
You two are in two different parts in your life. You are young and youre going to want to go out and party, ect. Chances are he will be good with it for awhile, but you will soon see problems.

Just really, take a deep hard look at what you want in and out of life.
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mommyofTC
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:26 AM
Follow your heart! But if you have to get a job to get custody make your child your first priority. He should understand. Tell him not to give you'll come back asap if that's what you really want and is best for your child! Good luck
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StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:26 AM
Yes cuz its oh so cool to pick a man over a child.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:27 AM

There is something seriously wrong when an almost 50 year old has he same maturity level as a 19 year old. Baha!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:28 AM


Quoting LoveMyLos:

My dh is 30 yrs older than me. All i can say is, really really think it through. We have been together 4 years, married two and a 2 yr old together. I have a 7 yr old from a previous.

We love each other. The problem is, he is set in his ways. You cannot change a man. Old dog, new tricks....
You two are in two different parts in your life. You are young and youre going to want to go out and party, ect. Chances are he will be good with it for awhile, but you will soon see problems.

Just really, take a deep hard look at what you want in and out of life.

The beauty of it is, that we are on a very similar maturity level. I'd prefer to have my daughter than go out partying, he prefers to spend time with me than go to the pub. I'm definitely thinking about it, and I mean, explaining it to my dad would not be easy by a long shot (my dad is 50).

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I've been here hun. The age gap one one year less but I've been here and trust me. With time the age gap will really wear on you. At first it will seem like your as mature as him. But then he wont' want you to go out with friends and meet new people and have a life of your own. Soon after that you'll start feeling caged and resentful. The age gap will start wearing when you realize how much older he is the things he has to do because he's older and the things he wants you to do. You're going to feel stunted as you age. That you can't like the things you like or do the things youw ant to do without being 'a child' to him. 

Now with me the man I was with. It turned out bad. One day I just woke up from it all and had enough. Morals and maturity and whats proper is completely different to him. Even if he appears to have the same ones you do now. 

But this man sounds like he's carrying even more baggage. He's got a gambling problem it sounds like he's not living in a real home or has his own car? He's 48 at the very least he should have these things. He's 48 now but when your 25 he's going to be 55. When your 30 he will be 60. Its not a sugar daddy thing because it sounds like he likes to blow his money. Find happiness with a guy closer to your age. Do yourself a favor and tell him thanks but no thanks. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 4:29 AM


Quoting StrawberryCool:

Yes cuz its oh so cool to pick a man over a child.


I'm not entirely sure what you are getting at here, but CM immaturity is not welcome in my neck of the woods.

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