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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

being cool vs smart

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

me and bff are having a debate about something. her dd is super smart, but really nerdy, socially awkward, and has no friends (and I love her to death). my DS is the "cool kid", lots of friends, always goofing off, not the best grades... I can't stand it sometimes. I wish he were a little more like her as far as focusing on school more than friends. But she wishes her DD was more like DS. She even went as far as that she would sacrifice some of her "smarts" for her to be cooler because she believes that learning that type of personality will be important later in life. that socially awkward introverted people aren't the ones that succeed and end up getting stepped on.

who's right? do your kids fall into either category?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NiCo86
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:02 PM
our 11 year old is a good blend between smart (As and Bs) and popular. though grades are important, learning social awareness IS important in success.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:03 PM

I hope my dd cares less about being popular in school and focuses more on her grades and acheivements, however, I knew alot of people in school that were both.  

ripemango
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this

there is no right or wrong here.

kid is a kid, how they are is how they are. Each person or child for that matter must embrace their strengths and work on their weaknesses.


I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:04 PM
I'd rather my children be smart and want to educate themselves...
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Emilytrademark
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:04 PM

 The way your friend talks about her DD and how she wishes she could change her is bothersome to me

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Being very social and outgoing isn't necessarily a trait necessary in the science feild.  No one cares if you're a little awkward or have crazy long beards, they just want your brain!

Quoting NiCo86:

our 11 year old is a good blend between smart (As and Bs) and popular. though grades are important, learning social awareness IS important in success.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:07 PM
I personally think being smart is important but being able to be social is more important. In this world I do believe its more about who you know than what you know ( but I agree a balance between the 2 is good)
happy2bmom25
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:07 PM

ultimately, all of our children need to be comfortable with themselves, and for the future, know that it is important to do your best, and always try to do better. if a child is socially awkward, then the parent does need to encourage growth in that department, just as the parent of the non a student still needs to encourage that child to earn better grades.

how old are your kids? could your son take her dd to a dance?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:08 PM

 I agree. They have a very strange bond. She was a teen mom, and unpopular and didn't have the best grades when she was in school, and has said to me how she has more of a "sibling bond" with her DD than a mother-daughter bond...

Quoting Emilytrademark:

 The way your friend talks about her DD and how she wishes she could change her is bothersome to me

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:11 PM

 My DS is 10, her DD is 11. They go to different schools, but he has tried. DS really has a great heart, my favorite feature about him, and wants to make her happy. He's invited her "ewww a girl" when he had a birthday party sleepover. He invites her to hang out with him and his friends, etc... But no one ends up liking her...

Quoting happy2bmom25:

ultimately, all of our children need to be comfortable with themselves, and for the future, know that it is important to do your best, and always try to do better. if a child is socially awkward, then the parent does need to encourage growth in that department, just as the parent of the non a student still needs to encourage that child to earn better grades.

how old are your kids? could your son take her dd to a dance?

 

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