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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

No "Santa" gifts for bad kids?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Is taking a way "Santa" presents a bad idea?

Options:

Yes, it's a bad idea, give him presents

Nope, he shouldn't get Santa gifts

Other, cause...you know. And explain why!


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 45

View Results

My oldest son has been fairly badly behaved in school this year.  He went from A/B honor roll last year to almost all C's this year, and he's been sent to in-school detention (NOT in-school suspension) 5 times already.  All of his behavior is him being the class clown and getting in trouble for it, and he's a pretty good kid at home, for the most part.  

He is 13 (almost 14) and doesn't believe in "Santa" anymore, but he has a younger brother and sister who do.  I am considering not giving him any gifts from "Santa" this year (he'd still get gifts from everyone else, but just nothing from the North Pole).  

I don't know if this is too mean to do, and I want some opinions.

*Edit* Because several people have mentioned his already:  Even though he doesn't believe in Santa anymore, and hasn't for years, I've still given him "Santa" gifts in previous years.  

*Edit 2* I have tried other ways to correct his behavior.  I have grounded him, taken things away, changed his bedtime, given him more chores and more homework....I've done everything I can think of short of getting physical.  Nothing changes.


Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
kim8934
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:57 AM

I wouldn't cut out the Santa gifts for him based on behavior at school.  You need to convince him that the class clown can draw unwanted attention to him and try to get him to use it in a positive way.  I have a class clown and the principal and I tried to convice my son to use this popularity in a good way.  I can't help you with that, we weren't that successful.

I think I would probably give him a little reminder, maybe a lump of coal, to let him know there is room for improvement.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:01 AM

I would find other ways to punish him, although there is nothing wrong with no "santa" gifts

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:12 AM

all of our gifts are from Santa. Even the gifts that grandparents and other relatives buy we say it's from Santa. I only just realized this past few years of being on CM that other people have separate gifts under the tree, some are gifts from Santa and some gifts from mom and dad! I don't see the point in that.

Even once the older ones learn the truth you have to keep the the younger ones from finding out.

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:13 AM

I would not dismiss Santa gifts. I would scale back on his gifts. Have you spoken with the school guidance counselor ? I would be trying to find out whats wrong and how to help him, more than how to punish him. Until his act improves he would be spending many hours doing "homework I make up", and chore. I would also entertain the idea of accompanying him to school. When he gets to each class make him stand and apologize to each teacher. the apology should be for wasting precious time. Then apologize to his classmates. I would bet this would only need to be done once !

mrimom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:16 AM
I would try to find out why his grades are falling. They wouldn't fall like that for no reason. Instead of punishing him, talk to him and ask him why he's having problems. Maybe he doesn't understand the material and simply needs a tutor.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:19 AM

Do you mean getting him less gifts as a punishment or just not not putting "From Santa" If he knows that you are Santa then why would he care if the tag says from mom or from Santa? lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:22 AM
I'd give him a break! I got Santa gifts until I moved out!
rgba
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Yep.
I think your too worried about a clever punishment, when really you need to fix the problem.


Quoting ccnstanczak:

 


Quoting 702girly:


I don't see how that's a punishment at all. He's a teenager. He doesn't believe in Santa anymore. If you're going to spend the same amount of money do you really think he gives a damn if the tag says from Santa?


 this.


and id be trying to figure out what the real root of the problem of why his grades dropped and why hes acting out and figure out solutions to get him back on track. simply punishing him at Christmas is a mistake and sends the wrong message. (not saying you are but jmo)


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:25 AM

 If it were my kids, he'd still get one - because (according to his siblings), he DOES believe in Santa. My son is 10 and has 2 younger siblings and knows there is no Santa, but I told him if he doesn't pretend to believe, than this "pretend Santa" won't come for him.

Other than that reason though, I wouldn't take his presents away. I threaten for MONTHS before Christmas, but I've never not had Santa come. It really just seems too mean.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:29 AM
He's old enough to not get anything at all!


( at least Christmas morning! My friend did that with her son, after a family outing he did get presents)
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